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How to tell your boyfriend you're a virgin


Question Posted Thursday June 3 2010, 3:23 am

I am a virgin but I'm still pretty young (16). My boyfriend has had sex before and he's a little older than me (18). He asked recently if we can start having sex. I love him a lot but he doesn't know I'm still a virgin. I don't want to be embarrassed and tell him about it but I heard that if we have sex then I will bleed on him. That sounds a lot more embarrassing to me.

So, I want to tell him that I haven't had sex yet. How do I tell him this without making him mad, upset, or afraid? I do want to have sex with him and I love him a lot so I know he deserves to know but I don't want to scare him off or make him mad that I haven't told him sooner.

What are the right words?


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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?


hotpotato answered Sunday June 6 2010, 8:33 pm:
Not to repeat anything anyone else has said, maybe instead of outright declaring that you are a virgin, you could reword it, "I haven't had any experience yet." And add some more details if you wish, like whether or not you are comfortable with any kind of sexual activity. Be upfront.

If he's the right guy, he's not going to be upset. He'll be glad you were honest with him. It's better that way because if you ever do have sex, he would go gentle on you, and not expect anything. Sometimes boys like that girls are virgins. That would mean he was special, your first.

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Miss_Lyric answered Thursday June 3 2010, 5:20 pm:
This is what I think

Ok first off if he get's mad when you tell him you are a virgin that means he wasn't the right guy anyways! There is no reason to get mad. So with that being said just come right out and say it. Just say "Baby (or whatever you call him), I'm still a virgin". It's not your fault if your still a virgin so if he get's mad I think you should just leave him alone and NOT have sex with him. But don't tell him while you are naked and about to have sex lol. Tell him way before then. I hope my advice helped! If you need more advice just message me!

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OhMyLucyDarling answered Thursday June 3 2010, 3:16 pm:
If you can't tell your boyfriend the truth, Then you aren't ready to be having sex.


Sex is someone that should be with someone you can be fully opened too, Simply put you just tell him the truth "There's something I wanted to let you know, I'm a virgin and I would like it if we took it slow" If he gets mad or upset then he isn't the right guy to be having sex with because being a virgin is not that big of a deal.

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NinjaNeer answered Thursday June 3 2010, 2:08 pm:
This is going to sound weird:

If you're embarrassed about telling him you're a virgin, you're not comfortable enough with him to have sex.

It's not a thing to be ashamed of. It's a beautiful thing that you would be giving him, and any decent guy would be ecstatic, regardless of the timing.

Sex is a terribly awkward thing. You make weird faces, you make funny noises, you sweat, it's just not pretty in practice. When you're with someone you're comfortable with, though, you can really let go and enjoy yourself without feeling so awkward and unsexy. If you're uncomfortable about just telling him you're a virgin, think how it would be for you when you're actually in the act.

He may be the right one, but you need to relax before you can have happy sex with him.

And, as always, make sure you're on birth control AND use condoms!

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adviceman49 answered Thursday June 3 2010, 1:03 pm:
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

I found the following website while answering a very similar question for other young ladies. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?”

On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible people. Note: With you being 16 and your boyfriend being 18 you run the risk of getting him in trouble with the law by having sex with him. Depending on the age of consent in your State he could be charged with Statutory Rape, Contributing to the Delinquency of a minor and if you should for some reason cross a State Line the Federal Mann act comes in to play. I am not saying these things will happen but could happen. These are things your parents can charge him with should they find out or worse case should you become pregnant.

The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always use a condom.

As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent I should be telling you to wait. I am sure your parents have already given you that advice and it is good advice. It is also hypocritical of most of us as most all of us my age and younger engaged in sex long before we were married. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urge without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is generally apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. These forms of sex should be adequate for now to satisfy both you and your boyfriend without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.

Before you make your decision please review the following website.

[Link](Mouse over link to see full location).

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