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I'm 13 and I grind, am I a slut?
K so I'm 13, in 7th grade, (girl) and all my friends (girls) are like all prude, but I would like to grind and make out with people that I'm not dating but all my friends would judge me. We have parties all the time so there's a lot of grinding going on. I didn't grind at the last party because my parents were invited but in school today my friend and I were joking around and I ended up in front of him against the wall and he started grinding me without holding my waist and now everyone is making a huge deal out of it and calling me a slut and I feel horrible but I really want to do stuff like grind! Am I being a slut and should I feel bad???
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Ask yourself, was it ok that your friend started grinding on you in the hallway? You need to have boundaries of your personal space and your body. It is not ok to have a guy 'grind' on you at school. While it may all seem ok right now because its only grinding you are sending the message that you are willing to do what the boy wants. You starting to have the normal teen hormones but you need to learn that while it feels good it means so much more. You can take care of your needs when you are alone.
Its not being a prude by not grinding its about having self respect.
If it not something you would do in front of your parents then it really isn't something you should be doing when they aren't around.
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7th grade girls shouldn't be grinding. and no you are not a slut....yet. but stay clear of that way so you wouldn't become one. if you want to make out, find a boyfriend. but grinding is for attention and just because everyone else does it, you shouldn't be doing it too. people are always going to judge you because they can't judge themselves. if you want to do something bold, go ahead and do it, but also make sure it's appropriate. Plus don't feel bad!
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hey
well trust me i went through so many unstable hormones even now when i am 20=) but i am not perfect but, i found ways to try and keep my body pure. they are books by Robin Jones Gunn! she writes about love, life! and they helped and gave me good verses! i wanted to grind and all that stuff and i thought it was fun for some time but, at the end of the day when you are home and having regrets its not worth it!
theres a verse in the Bible , that talks about waiting to awaken love until its time. your body is a temple, you will see when you are older that at 13 its about enjoying life. the grinding will come later when no one is there to take advantage of u. on t.V it may all seem fun,but its all a fleeting thing. go out have fun, know your parents! wait until you don't feel ashamed or guilty.
and don't let people or don't give them power to say what you are! its normal to feel all these things, just limit what you want to watch and less gossip gil=)
you are nrot a SLUT!! you are a beautiful , girl with a bright future! Enjoy being young! time moves so fast~
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Difficult question.
You're young. That makes everything worse. You know, if you were 18 and you were just grinding and making out, people wouldn't think that much of it. People assume that you're old enough to make your own decisions, to understand what you're doing, and understand the reactions you get from people.
First, there aren't many adult men capable of respecting a woman who is brazenly and indiscriminately sexual. Most of the guys who ARE are in porn with most of the women who are indiscriminately sexual.
It's alot worse at your age. You're going further than your friends would with a boyfriend with guys you don't date. Guys who are into that are either going to be using you for whatever sex they can get and not feel anything for you other than that, or they're going to assume that sex is something you're willing to give and expect it at every turn.
There's an old cliche joke about one of the most common lies in the world being "I'll still love you in the morning". That joke talks about the issue there. Most women want to know that the guys they are intimate with will respect and care about them in the morning, that what's going on is more than just "having fun".
When you hand out sex outside of relationships, people who you might want to be serious with and might want to respect you will not, because they don't expect anything more of you than sex.
Like it or not, there's a reputation there. And if a guy sees a girl who just wants to have fun, he's not going to consider her for anything more serious. You're not going to be happy being single and fooling around forever, and if you build a reputation of giving sexual favors to whomever wants them, no one's going to take you seriously.
Also, most people don't want to be with someone everyone else has had. Because while a guy who wants to date you might respect you, the guys you made out with randomly probably won't. It's not fun to be a guy and have other guys talk shit about a girl we're dating because they fooled around with her and feel like bringing it up. Or we might straight up avoid you because you fooled around with a guy we despise and can't respect anyone who'd go near whoever it is. Been there myself, and while it might not matter that much to you because it's nothing serious, it matters to some of us, because we have standards and we want to be with people who have standards too.
Last, if you play with anyone who wants to, guys are going to wonder if you're faithful. When you don't care who touches you, guys are going to wonder who you let touch you when they aren't around.
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Grinding at a school is not cool because thats showing dudes that your easy to persuade(if you know what I mean).But at a party, it has to be at the right kind of party. You are young, and these are young parties but its not that slutty. But the making out with strangers yes is slutty. These dudes mouths have been god knows where. Plus if you like making out, so do other girls so you wouldnt be the first one.
Lillian
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Maybe I'm just old (22) but I've always thought grinding was a little too publicly sexual. I know a lot of people do it, but to me it's rubbing your bits on a guy's bits, and the guy tends to get a lot of 'enjoyment' out of it. But hey, it's up to the individual. As for making out with randoms, to me that sounds like a great way to get mono or cold sores. Again, up to the individual, but I wouldn't make out with a guy who I wasn't dating, and I wouldn't kiss a person who makes out with lots of people either. If you feel bad about it, then you should change, and if you don't, then you shouldn't until you feel a need to.
Now, calling you a slut is wrong. It's sexual harassment, and if people are doing it at school you should be talking to your principal. Most schools have a no-tolerance policy for that sort of thing. If your friends are saying that, then let them know that you don't appreciate the title, and that if they disagree with how you do things that's their own business and they should keep it to themselves. If they can't handle that, you need to find new friends if this is that important to you.
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How's that being a slut?
Now if you went around and slept with the whole school... Maybe, but grinding is dancing, and everyone does it basically. Your friends are obviously just jealous. Don't let them get to you, and if they continue I would say that aren't really nice friends to begin with and you should try to find new ones.
But you are NOT a slut, and shouldn't feel bad.
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