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if he's jealous should i give him another chance?
A while back, i was dating this guy exclusively, but we didn't call it a relationship. as time went on, he became more distant. he started bailing on plans multiple times a week, and basically only texted me to tell me he was too busy to hang out again, or to try to see me if it was friday or saturday night. i tried everything to deal with it, i suggested we study together if he was too busy to do anything else, i tried being more present in his life, then less, finally tried to detach myself completely. when that failed, i realized he didn't care about me and ended it. he said that after 4 months, he still couldn't be emotionally invested because i'm going abroad next year.
it's been a month, and i tried to move on. i met someone new who's wonderful, but we're taking it slow. last weekend, my ex saw us together and expressed to my roommate how upsetting it was for him. if i thought he cared enough to be jealous, i probably wouldn't have ended it in the first place. if we want to be together, it seems silly for my pride to get in the way, but i just don't know what to do. as of now, he's given me no reason to think he cares about me at all. should i wait for him to express it to me directly? should i initiate some conversation?
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You found someone so much better. Just because this guy was jealous doesn't mean he is right for you. You realized he didn't care enough for you to really love you. He's only jealous. You shouldn't get back together with someone because of that. I mean, those problems are still there. What makes you think they won't go away when you guys get back together?
He would still be that same guy who would blow you off for something else.
If you really do want to get back together with him, see what he does. If he wants you he'd try to get you. But you'd have to talk about what happened, if nothing changes, its not worth it and you're not gonna be happy.
My own opinion is to forget about this guy. Good luck!
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No. You should not initiate conversation.
No. You should not wait for him to express it directly.
You should just forget about the gossip you heard, and keep on with your life.
Just because this guy 'cared enough to be jealous' doesn't mean he wants to be with you. Even if it did mean that, you really need to have a higher standard for your partners then 'caring enough to be jealous'. You should be confident and demand that people you are with are honest, respectful and open with you. All these things your ex has already proven he was not able to give you.
This isn't your pride getting in the way; it's common sense and self respect. He might have 'cared enough to be jealous' but that is a VERY, very far cry from 'caring enough to be a decent, respectful and loving partner'. There is no reason to believe he has changed that much based on this tiny piece of emotional trivia.
Everything about your question, your multiple attempts to deal with his rudeness and detachment, and now your immediate willingness to take him back on the tiniest little hint that he gives a damn, paints the picture of a girl who needs to learn to demand more from her partners.
You are worthy of better.
Go find better, and find it with someone else.
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I think that it may be more than jealousy. It sounds like your ex wants a relationship with you, and doesnt want you to leave. Im not sure why you are going abroad, so I dont know all the details, but I think you two should sit down and talk. Lay everything out, and go from there. I dont know if you've ever heard the phrase, "love is an action, not an emotion" but its basically saying that loving someone means doing the tough stuff, not just loving when things are good. If you love him, go to him and talk.
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I don't think you should give him a second chance
your ex is the one who become distant and bailed on
you he didn't care about you i don't think he'll change seeing as you said he's given you no reason to think he cares about you he didn't care about you in the past and i don't think he'll care now why put yourself through being hurt again when you can prevent it from happening your probably better off with the new person you've met seeing as he's wonderful and not like your ex you'll probably be happier with him so i say forget your ex & move on(:
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