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parent's expectation?
I'm tired of living in my parents expectation and acting in a certain way, im 18 years old and i know i dont really know about the world a lot but really, i just want to have fun with my friends and do something spontaneous with my friends but i seem like i cant do it because i constantly have to worry about family lecturing me how i go out a lot or going home a lot what can i do about this? i feel really im controlled and i dont like it but i dont have a guts to say that.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Your problem isn't what your family does, which is good, 'cause they aren't going to change.
Your problem is that you don't have the guts, and that you are obsessing about what they think, and that, you can change.
So change it. You aren't controlled, you are allowing yourself to be managed, and there is a big difference. If you were being locked in the basement whenever you got a C on a test, that's controlling. If you are getting a lecture, that's not even punishment. You are going to have learn how to stand up for your own opinion and desires in the face of criticism from others. Respect and love doesn't mean blind acceptance or agreement. People, even people we love, often disagree. To be your own person, you must be able to deal with it.
You don't have to let loose and be a complete moron, but take a minute and think of one or two things you have not done because you were concerned about lectures. Ask yourself if, besides the anxiety about your parents, those behaviours would have been something you'd choose for yourself. Then, next time, choose them for yourself.
You don't get to escape the lectures or their opinions! You are still their child and you live at home. They have opinions that they are going to share, and might share loudly. There might be consequences for your choices that could make your uncomfortable and strain relationships: Deal with it! As long as you live in fear, you are always going to feel controlled (even though you are the only one tying yourself down).
I'm 24, and lectures from my parents at this point in my life don't emotionally effect me much. I file them under "Good advice I can listen too or not." I respect my parents and their opinions, but if I believe I want to do something, their lectures don't stop me. Sure, sometimes I worry about what they might think of me, but mostly I just know that disagreements among loved one are just that, disagreements, not the end of the world.
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This is the reality of living at home. Their house, their rules. If you want to be a mature adult, you have to live like one. You need to save your money and MOVE OUT! If you're worried about the expense, find a roommate. When you can prove you are a responsible adult, chances are your parents will start treating you that way. Get out of there and be your own person. You'll never regret it.
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At 18 you are considered to be an adult. You're parents may be thinking you are not acting very mature.
So long as you are living in your parents home, you have to live within their rules.
Do you have a job? If not get one. Goal...get your own place. There you can act any way you want to. You'll be your own boss. ;)
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