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How do I tell my mom I don't want to go to prom?
I'm going to graduate this year and so we have this senior prom coming up. Everybody is making a big fuss about buying expensive prom dresses and getting all dolled up with their boyfriends for this dance and I really am not interested in it. I'd rather just chill with my friends, watch some bad movies and eat some junk food, and make a long night of it at home.
I've never been really girly so the whole $300 dress thing doesn't appeal to me. My boyfriend is cool with me not wanting to go to the prom and thought maybe I should even have my own home-party instead so that I could "do something special" too.
The problem is with my mom. Ever since I started high school my mom has been really excited about my prom day. She talked about going dress shopping and getting my hair and make-up done. She's really big into photography too so I'm certain she had photos in mind too.
Now, I thought about telling her that I'm not interested in going to the prom but if she wanted to help me have a little party with my friends instead it would be nice. She's helped me have parties before so it isn't that she would be against that--it would be that there wouldn't be a prom "thing" for me.
I know she's been waiting for this for awhile, especially to see me all dressed up, but it isn't something I want to do. What do I say without sounding like an evil cunt? I don't want to hurt her feelings with this.
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I didn't go to my prom and honestly I wish I would have. Maybe you could do your party on a different day and still go to prom so your mom wouldnt be upset It sounds as if she has put a lot of thought into this prom. But on second thoughts if you totally dont want anything to do with prom sit your mom down and explain to her that your really not interested in prom and you would rather throw your own kind of prom party with your friends. it sounds like you have everything figured out but you dont want to hurt your moms feelings. Have you thought about renting a dress for the day and you and your boyfriend could dress up and let your mom take photos.
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Here's a solution for both of you: You have a party at home, but dress up anyway. This way your mom can get her dress shopping daughter-bonding time in, take photographs of you and your friends and boyfriend, and you can enjoy your senior year your way. This is what my friends and I did my senior year. We just had a dance/movie party in my basement whilst wearing our dresses, then we went out for a drive. It was a lot more fun than being in a large room filled with people we didn't really like all night. Our mothers were satisfied because they got to see us all dolled up in our dresses and we were satisfied as well to celebrate being who we were. I hope this helps and good luck.
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It is your decision alone insofar as whether you go or not. Your mom may end up disappointed, but she's an adult and should be able to handle it. The best way to tell her is simple, straightforward truth: you don't want to go, it holds no appeal for you, and you'd rather she not try to convince you because it's just going to create bad feelings. And don't put it off - it would be far better to resolve this matter now instead of later.
There is one part of your post that gave me pause, however: your idea to have your own party at home and hang out with friends. It strikes me that they may already have plans for that night - you may not care to go to the Prom, but your friends may be planning on attending! I suggest you not try and set up a competing event, unless you already know that your friends will be available for it.
And incidentally, if your mom really wants to see you "all dressed up", with your makeup and hair all done, you might consider indulging her on that. I'm not saying you should go to the Prom for her sake, but go ahead and let her see (and photograph) her daughter in a pretty dress just once. If you get invited to a wedding or something anytime in the near future, that would be a good occasion to do that for her.
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Parents have a bad habit of living vicariously through their children when the fact of the matter is the event is for the child and not the parent.
As a parent I feel you should celebrate you upcoming graduation in a manner that that suits you and your friends. As a firefighter with a Rescue Squad I am happy that you and you or friends have decided to stay home a chill out in a safe manner. That makes a few less that I and other firefighters like me have to worry about on Prom nights.
As for telling your mother how you wish to celebrate your prom night: I have always found that the truth works best. Remember that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Will mom be disappointed, probably? While she try to talk you into going by telling you how you will be missing out on one of the greatest nights of your life, probably?
If you and your friends are truly not into the fuss and bother of the prom then you have to tell her just that. Point out to her that by staying at home how much safer you are partying at home then out on the road with others who will be celebrating and possibly drinking and driving.
Whatever your reasons are for not wanting to go to your prom they are your reasons and you will live with your decision. From a safety standpoint I support your decision to party at home.
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to be fair, i think you should keep it simple, and just tell the truth. Just be all "i dont think i want to go to prom?" simple as. Easier said than done though, so im not sure how much of a help i was. :)
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