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How to ask my mom to go on the pill?
17/f..naturally.
I've been with my boyfriend for about five months now, and just recently we became sexually active. We talked about sex quite some times before, and we were both ready and he uses a condom and everything.
My mom is totally ok with him, and she thinks I've been having sex with him for a lot longer than I actually have. But I know she's okay with it and everything, just tells me to be careful and to use a condom, seeing as she knows our relationship is serious and he's a responsible guy.
However, due to the irritating irregularity of my period, but also the fact that I'm now having sex, I'd like to go on the pill.
I know my mom will be okay with it...I just have no idea how to ask her this.
It's not like we have a very open and casual relationship, thus I am finding it hard to ask her about it. I'd rather not do it behind her back, because there's no need for it.
Just looking for any tips or ways on how I should approach her about this?
Thank you.
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Birth Control Pills?
Since she already knows you are sexually active and want to be responsible she will welcome this. If you have difficulty talking to her about it write her a note asking to talk about it and get things seen to. I think she would rather you be on birth control than not. Perhaps she assumes you are.
You need to tell her about having menstrual periods that are irregular and difficult to put up with. This shouldn't be as embarrassing as you think. Both sides are bound to be relieved in the end.
She will see how you have thought things out and want to be safe rather than rush in like some other girls with sex. This shows you have a strong head on your shoulders and I think she will be happy with that. Let's face it no parent likes their kids being sexually active but they do like to see that they are protected.
Also, are you sure pills are the option you want? You have to be religious about taking them at the same time. I always recommend people look into NuvaRing which slides into the vagina one a month and releases chemicals to prevent pregnancy. Probably the safest and easiest to deal with.
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you said your mom knows you're having sex, and tells you to be careful and use a condom so i think by asking her to get on birth control she would be happy that you're being responsible about it. i would just come out and say it but if you find that too hard then maybe you can bring up something along the lines of "i haven't had my period in awhile, its always been irregular" and then just go from there.
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
From what you have written it appears mom already knows you are sexually active and is okay with this. Since this is the case I would suggest you go to your mom and say something to the effect. “Mom I would like to see a doctor about going on the pill”. “Not primarily for birth control but to regulate my period and I would like you to go with me to see the doctor”. If mom is not aware of the problems you are having with your period now is the time to tell her.
Since your mom is aware of your sexual activity and it appears you and she are close. I see no reason for you to tippy toe around the subject or be fearful on how to approach her. Just remember the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. In this instance what I’m saying is ask her directly how she feels about you going on the pill. Mom may have some real or perceived problems with you going on the pill that you need to discuss with her and your doctor to make her more comfortable.
I suspect mom has a problem with birth control pills or, based on your letter, she might have already suggested to you to consider going on the Pill. So approach her directly and talk to her. Just a side note here: You legally do not need your moms’ permission to go on the pill; I think you should be proud of yourself for including your mom in this decision.
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my mom and i are very open, but i remember how hard it still was to ask her about the pill. since she already knows you and your boyfriend are having sex, you got past the hardest part. most likely she will be happy that you are taking the initiative to practice safe sex and be completely willing to take you to the doctors for the pill. if i were you i would research some different types of birth control. come to her with information you've found. it will show you are responsible about it. for example you could say "hey mom i was thinking, i have really irregular periods which makes it scary to just use a condem during sex because of pregnancy scares and everything, i also would love the extra insurance that we are being safe by going on the pill. i did some research and found that (pill name) was the best kind for .. (info about pill). do you think it would be a good idea to go to the doctor and see if this is what i should do?"
this way, she will see you are taking an initiative, coming to her, and asking what she thinks: all things that mothers love haha
good luck!
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you should ask her to go to the doctors with you when you get it. i did that with my mum - we're not exactly hardcore best friends either - and she was really pleased because i wasn't hiding it from her. so yeah, just a little thing like that. or you could outright just say, mum, i'm going on the pill, it doesn't sound like she'll have a hissy fit or anything. good luck =] x
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