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So i'm so confused on how to tell my boyfriend something...I need help!
Ok so I'm 17 years old and my boyfriend is about to be 20 years old. We always talk about how we can't wait to finally live together and start our own live together. Now the only problem I have is that I want to have a baby already. How should I tell him that I want to have a baby? He loves children and we have both talked about how we would like to have a large family together. I know that a baby is alot of work, but I feel that we are ready for it. Please help!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
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In my experience as well as others it is best to be open and honest in a relationship otherwise there isnt much of a relationship to begin with. One day when the topic comes up to relate to it again thats when you tell him. Seek opportunity and fire towards whatt you believe in.
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Better question. Why do you want a baby now? Without more details I can't say much, but are you out of high school? In college? Do both of you have jobs? Do you live together?
It costs between $9,000-11,000 to raise a baby in the first year alone. How are you planning on paying for that? And remember it's not just a baby, it's going to be 18 years (estimated at $250,000 minimum) of raising this kid with no time for yourself or each other.
Your feelings aren't abnormal; many teenage girls feel like they want a baby. But what's the hurry? When you have a baby, you won't be able to go out on dates often, go out on weekends, hang out with your friends, get your degree and a well-paying job.
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Ask him how he would feel about having a kid right now.After he answers that u'll know what to say
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Hey
I know how much you may feel for your boyfriend right now and how you cant wait to be living with him etc....but girl you know you cant honestly say you are 100% sure the both of you can handle a baby right now. And if you think you are, well, theres a LOT of learning for you that needs to take place immediatley.
I'm married, and living with the person you love & care for is not always the fairy tale people assume its going to be. What you need to do before you even think about having a baby (well there are several things) is acutally live with this guy. You will learn a LOT about him, yourself, and the both of you together. Its important that you two work as a team through everything. You wont know anything for sure until you live with the person.
Firstly, you are still 17. Im not saying theres anything wrong with young mothers but fourtunatley for you, you have a choice right now since you dont have a baby yet. You need to think about your life ahead of you. And most importantly, the baby's. You need to think about school and work and family and friends. Adding a baby to all of that is NOt cake.
Dont you wanna go to college? Dont you wanna be able to hang out with your friends whenever you want? You may say you feel like you can handle a baby right now but a lot of freedom is gonna be taken away from you.
Think of the baby...how are you gonna support it?
To be honest, I dont even think your boyfriend is gonna agree with you, and if he does hes probably not taking you seriously thinking its not gonna happen anytime soon.
You have so much to learn. And im sure everyone here has told you the right thing to do for now, which is not plan to have a baby. You may not even take our advice but i gaurantee if you do, you are gonna wish it wasnt so soon.
Be a smart girl and dont to this to yourself.
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my personal opinion is that your dumb, what about college? getting a degree? you can't afford a baby working at mcdonalds..think about that.
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i am not going to give you the lecture about being a young mommy. because i am 18 years old with a 6 year old step son a 3 year old and im pregnant and married. any who i think the two of you should get a home together first then have a child that way you are settled in with each other and get used to living with each other.
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you two are still super young. you may talk about living together and all, but a lot of couples do for fun. babies make everything complicated and it takes a lot of money to raise them. you won't have time to go out with friends and enjoy yourself as a young adult. teens and 20s are your years to enjoy life and with a baby that's going to be nearly impossible. having a baby my also cause problems with your relationship (believe it or not) when you're pregnant everything will be fine but once you have the baby he may back out and then you're left alone. and honestly not many people want to date someone who already has a child at that age since it's so much responsibility. make sure you really think about this because you will grow into an adult so much faster than you may be ready for. it'll change your life.
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Feelings are all well and good. I don’t doubt how much you feel ready and how much you’d love a baby. But Feelings are NOT a plan. And a baby deserves a plan. A baby deserves a life where its parents know where the next meal and paycheque are coming from. Parents who are mature enough to have lived in the world for a bit, even parents who know where a baby fits into the other plans in their life: career, education and travel.
Your desire for children is something you should totally talk about with your boyfriend. But talk about as your desire, and your hope, and start to make those really important plans, like, Who is going to go to school, when? Will we have enough money? Will we need daycare? What kind of house will we need? Where will be live?
Show your relationship, your future child, and yourself, enough respect to wait until you have started your life together, before you add another life to it. You might feel ready, but just like a person who feels ready to buy a house, but has only $100 in the bank; feelings don’t actually make you ready. There is some real, objective stuff you have to get out of the way first. Start those conversations about how you’ll make yourselves ready with your boyfriend. It’s time for those talks. It’s not time for the pregnancy yet.
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