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Girlfriend v Sister
Here's my situation:
My girlfriend wants me to give her a ride to school, because it gets cold up in our parts, and her car sits outside, so its always frosted over and unless she catches a ride with her mom, or leaves early on the bus, its impossible for her to get there. She hates the bus because the little kids on it are annoying and some mornings, her mom leaves early for work, so she can't catch a ride.
Giving her rides really isn't a problem for me, but it is for my Sister. She's 4 years younger than me, and it just seems impossible for her to get ready on time for me to pick up my girlfriend when she wants to be picked up. I tell her every night before she needs to get ready on time, and I still end up badgering her every morning to get out of the bathroom and on the road. If i try to talk to her about it on our way to school, she never listens. She acts way more immature than she really is (shes 14) and makes noises so she can't hear what im trying to tell her. Sometimes it frusturates me so much i threaten to drop her off right there wherever i am on my way to school (i have kicked her out a couple times and made her walk an extra few hundred feet to get there, (we live 10 miles away, so she's getting off easy)). She won't let me talk to her and she never learns the hard way. If she says anything to me its just whiny BS about how I do too much stuff for my girlfriend, and don't pay any attention to what anyone else [she] wants.
Of course, the obvious thing to try to do is talk to my dad about it, and ask him to enforce my sister's actions. But i've tried this and every time it happens she goes to him and whines about how she doesn't have her way, and always gets it her way. I've tried to make her ride the bus, I tell him its only fair that she rides the bus (just like I did when i was her age), and she whines and makes everyone's life hell for a while, and my dad just decides its easier to make me give her a ride instead of putting up with my sister, and I really can't blame him.
So all I'm really left with is to make my girlfriend wait for me to get there, or tell her i'll be too late to give her a ride. Every morning I do this, she basically ignores or crabs at me all day at school, and we always end up arguing about it that night on the phone. Since it's happening so often lately, Our relationship is really suffering. All she does is argue with me because I can't be there for her. and all I can say is that I'd be there for her if it wasn't for my sister. We never talk about anything exept my bitchy sister, and she asks me every morning if i can give her a ride and every night I lie and say ill be able to, just to make her feel alright, and so we dont have to spend more of the night arguing about it. Then every morning I end up banging on my sister's bathroom door, end up too late to pick my girlfriend up and get crabbed at all day in school and arguing with her every night.
Its just a terrible cycle that has kept going and going and getting worse and worse as it gets colder outside. I feel like i can yell and threaten my sister, kick and scream for my dad to make her listen and still never get any better off. Tonight on the phone, i was in tears trying to get my girlfriend to stop arguing about my sister and there was pure silence for like 2 minutes, then i asked if she was still there, and she just kept going on about how I don't have the guts to get what I want, how I can't get my sister to do what she wants me to make her do. I hung up. and havent heard from her in 2 hours.
And I think about how easy it would be for just one of them to change their habits and how hard it is for me to put up with them both. I just want to be a boyfriend for my girlfriend, but that doesn't stop the fact that my sister has to be my friend too, I really do get along with her when i'm not trying to make a point with her. And I am simply not the kind of person who can stand holding grudges against someone else, especailly someone as close as my girlfriend or sister.
Most of the time I decide it's better if i dont bother my dad at all with this crap, since all it is is a bunch of crap. To him, Its easier to make me take my sister and have my GF worry about getting to school because Sister raises hell every time anyone tries to deal with her. I don't want to try raising hell to get my way either, because then id be just as bad as my sister, and I have enough respect for my dad to leave him out of this. He has enough to worry about: He's our only parent and he needs a heart transplant.
I really just feel a need to be respected, not only by my sister, but by my girlfriend too, especially from her, actually. I just can't get any though. I don't know what the fuck i'm supposed to do. Its like im caught in this big argument between them, and I have to speak for both of them. yet either person I argue for, I really get nothing from it if I win.
help
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if i was you i'd tell my sister that she has to be ready by a certain time or youre leaving without her, tell her to get up earlier and compromise with you so she has enough time to get ready in the mornings but you also have enough time to pick up your girlfriend.
i'm the youngest too and my sister would always be the one to take me to school but she also had to pick up like 5 of her other friends so i always had to be ready on her schedule and if i wasnt then i would have to find another way to school, and i would force myself to wake up in the mornings on her time because i refuse to ride the bus which leaves at 6:30 for me so riding with my sister gives more time to not only sleep but get ready .
and to me it seems like youre girlfriend kind of takes advantage of you :/ tell her its not your fault it takes your sister so long to get ready and its not like you dont try but theres nothing you can do about it and that if she doesnt like it she can find another ride! and that its even nice of you to go out of your way to go and even pick her up. i dont think realizes how much you really do care about her, and how hard it is to go get her in the mornings. sit down with you parents tell them exactly how you feel and how your sister not being ready in time is ruining your relationship with your girlfriend, tell them how you'll still take her to school but she needs to ready on YOUR time, after talking to your parents maturely instead of whining to them maybe they can talk to her!
hope my advice helped!
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You ever hear the saying in life that you can't please everybody? Certainly this is ringing true for you right now.
What you need to do is give your sister warnings in the morning. If she isn't out of the bathroom when you need her to be, leave her there & make her take the bus to school. It's not fair that your sister is whining to get her way, and to be quite honest, you driving her to school is a privilege, not a right. There's no one that says you HAVE to drive her to school. You're 18 years old, so if you don't want to drive her, don't.
Why the hell can't your girlfriend drive to school? Her car freezing over is no excuse. I lived in New York and my mom's car froze over as well but I still got a ride to school. Tell your girlfriend to get her ass outside before she gets ready or whatever, and then by time she's ready, her car will be defrosted & warm & ready for her. She's just lazy & wants to take the easy way out.
I understand she'll be mad when you tell her that, but again, just like with your sister, it's a privilege for her to get driven to school by you. She has a car of her own & she's taking the easy way out by having you take her. She can defrost her car, she's just being a pain.
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im an only child, but my best friend and her family are basically like family- so i deal with a bipolar bitch for a little sister haha.
basically, you have to put your foot down. dont bring your dad in this because obviously he cant deal with it. next time she takes to long, give her one warning. if shes not out of the bathroom or isnt ready, LEAVE ! it might raise hell but you have to take things into your own hands. respect is almost an impossible thing to achieve when it comes to nasty little siblings.
if this doesnt work, your girlfriend needs to get over herself and take the bus. she definitely addin on to the stress, and if your sister cant make it work she needs to try FOR YOU. yes, little kids are annoyin, but your sister is waaaay worse. you cant be whipped dude ! tell her you cant get there on time if you pick her up, and that you tried everythin else but its just not workin.
sorry about your situation, it seems like both your girlfriend and your sister need a reality check. they think that your life revolves around them and it doesnt, so start makin decisions on how youre gonna get to school with your best interest in mind, not anyone elses.
hope i helped, good luck !
x sweeethoney
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If your sister isn't ready on time, just bail on her. She can take the bus.
It will only take a couple of times before she suddenly gets ready more quickly.
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Okay, well i can see you are just trying to be the guy helping everyone but it's just gettign you stuck in the middle of a big fight. From how i see it (i may be wrong), but it seems to me that your girlfriend has many ways to get to school. Like catching a ride on the bus or with her mum or trying to defrost her car. But she wants to spend time with YOU! So you have to take your sister to school. But shes never ready. You've tried to show her you're serious by dropping her off but she doesnt care. I think the best way to show her you are serious is to just leave her the days she wont leave the house. This will show her that it's not a joke and she can't allways get her own way.
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