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rape
15/f
he's 18 in a month, i just turned 15. i went to his house and we were fooling around. he never forced anything on me so when i suddenly yelled no and wait and he did it anyway i...well it hurt...and then i went numb. afterwards i couldn't walk and my voice was shaking and my entire body trembling. i tried getting away but somehow my legs gave out. then he realized what he did and apologized over and over again. i said it was ok....he wants to meet next saturday. after he did it my entire body was trembling and i was breathing so hard i couldn't cry. i was just.....idk. i know it was my fault for not being more assertive. but i didn't expect him to. he knew i didn't want to and apologized afterwards saying he was sorry for forcing me. it was all my fucking fault and i don't know what to do now. we were safe. but he wants to meet this saturday and i know nothing good can come of it and he'll just do it again. it's fucked up, but even though i feel traumatized...i'm tempted to go back. what's wrong with me? i know i don't want it so why is my body telling me to? i'm not a masochist. what's wrong with me? i should be weary of my abuser yet i'm drawn to go back. am i just fucked up? help me please. i don't know what to do.
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okay, well i don't think this is a rape situation at all.. i mean you do have the right to say no.. but you really should have said it so HE knew it not quietly. People can't read minds there NOT EDWARD CULLEN. If you felt you weren't ready.. try shutting your legs. I don't think you have the right to call this rape.. it was just not your time to have sex.. you weren't ready and it happened so of course your going to freak out BUT IT WAS NOT RAPE. Try talking with friends or a councilor or something but if you go around saying you were raped.. your only going to get this guy in trouble.. for something he didn't do.. try reversing the situation.. if you want to be with him then you know just tell him you don't think you were ready for sex and you just want to take it slow and just hang out, so you had a bad first experience maybe his penis was to big for you or something maybe that's why you went numb.
just try talking to other people about there first sex expiernce for everyone, like you it goes bad.
goodluckk
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it's normal that it got you all shaken up like that its just pure adrenalin. i have messed around with a guy before and it hurt a little after a while but (guys can't read mixed singles) it confuses them. he knew i wanted it but i told him to stop for a sec. he kept going so i said it again more assertively (not bitchin at him though). he just smiled and said okay baby. its not your fault but its not exactly his either. if he knew it was forcing you in any way, shape, or form he shouldn't have done it. period. but when guys are turned on their brains tend to go downstairs instead of in their head lol. so yeah it sounds like to me that he really didn't mean to hurt you. just be careful chick and remember you don't have to do anything you don't want to. next time you see him just tell him how you really feel about all this.
hope i helped:) good luck.
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No its NOT YOUR FAULT. I dont care if you gave in and opened your legs and had him between your thighs...SEX is not a right its a priveledge that you can always say NO if he didnt have the balls to stop and recognize your answer then why is he appologizing?? you know why? because he forced himself on a minor and THATS ILLEGAL Especially here in California...if you were really hurt and you really did not want him to penetrate you go to the police and file a report dont be afraid please do not be afraid its not your fault. it will be better for you and him. for you youwill get help with your trauma and prevent mental, psychological, emotional problems in the future for him he will learn that you are not stupid and that what he did is stupid and that in life there are consequences that need to be paid. Please do not go around blamming yourself because you have a vagina and that you led him on. This is a bad example but its a good one ...we all know prostitues get paid to have sex right?? but beleive it or not even a prostitue can get raped!! and guess what? the police will do something about it to help the Victim...and thats what you are a victim. Please inform your local authorities dont let him convince you by saying im sorry...that will not bring or give you your virginity back and it will not take the pain and horrible memory away. Rapist love it when their victims blame themselves. Do not let this bum go do this to someone else. Get some help PLEASE!!
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No. No. No.
Boys cannot always help hormones and if anybody wants to contridict me let's give it a whirl!!!
You're in shock. This was rape, yes. But if he is overwhelmed with sorrow and regret then I understand his point of view. He was going to fast and did too much. Who knows, maybe he DIDN'T hear you and DIDN'T realize what happened until he saw what had happened. It's not your fault either though. I say you see him again, that is.. if YOU want. Nothing is wrong with you, you're in shock. Give you're body and mind time to realize what's happened. You're okay, sweetheart. (: I know this isn't a smiling situation but I do that alot. It might help to speak to an adult about this, or you could speak to me about it if you'd like, i'm not a freak out to get you (: You can speak to an adult, parent, guardian, teacher, friend, whoever you trust. Just give it a bit of time.
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It's not your fault. You said no and that's that. Do not go back to him. You have been through a lot and the mind has its ways of convincing you to do things and think things that you wouldn't normally do because of the trauma. It's not your fault you are a victim. You need to find an adult you trust and tell them what happened. You both may come from good christian families but even good christians can make bad decisions. He made a bad decision the decision to not respect your feelings and to stop. You are a victim of what at first may have been an innocent act of affection but quickly turned into a serious act of crime. It's not your fault you need help. Talk to someone you trust. Do not see him again, stay away from him.
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It isn't your fault.
No matter how much you feel like it is, it never will be your fault. You are the one who is hurt, you are the victim.
He raped you. It is his fault and he knows it. He knew you said no. He knew you didn't want too. He didn't check, he didn't stop, for a least a little while, he didn't care what you wanted or thought. He just did what he wanted.
It's his fault, completely and utterly. He could have helped it. He could have stopped. He is not an idiot or an animal: He choose to rape you. It's nice that he is sorry. It doesn't change what he did. A person might be sorry for causing a car accident and killing people, it doesn't change the fact it was their fault and people are dead. Nothing changes the fact that he raped you and it's his fault.
It's okay to to have really conflicted, fucked up feelings. It's even okay to feel guilty, and confused. But you can get past those feelings. You've already taken the first step by reaching out for help here!
Don't see him again, and please, please, find some adult you can tell. You need help. And you can get help to sort out these scary and damaging thoughts.
You can read someone elses story here of recovering from this here, sometimes that really helps.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Also, there is an online, or phone hotlink, from RAINN, where you can talk for free, and completely anonymously to someone who understands what you are going through, and is trained to help.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
It's not your fault and you can get past it, but it takes time and lots of support. Please, reach out and get the help you need.
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