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i don't know what to do
Hi. Okay so this is my problem.
I have a new boyfriend. But I love my exboyfriend, and he loves me. My exboyfriend has a cheating problem (he's cheated quite a lot). Finally, I told him I was done and I got a new boyfriend, who I really like, but not as much as my ex. My ex has been telling me that he never knew what it felt like to be put through what he's put me through, and now he's convinced that he's never gunna cheat again. I want to be with him, but I also don't wanna break my current boyfriend's heart. I really don't know what to do because I'm torn between the two of them. I'm scared that if I stay with my current boyfriend, I'll go through what I always end up going through with my ex where we just don't talk for months and I'm miserable until we start talking again. My current boyfriend is more loyal, but he also lies alot.. he's famous for telling girls what they want to hear instead of what's really happening (he told his last girlfriend he loved her when he really didn't). And he's really bad about like talking to me. We barely talk at all unless we're hanging out, otherwise we almost never talk on the phone or text or whatever. He's also really late all the time which I can't stand. I really don't know what to do. I love my ex, but I don't wanna go back to him just to get my heart broken again. He seems legit this time. But I also don't want to hurt my current boyfriend. What do I do? I'm 16 by the way, and they're both 16, if that helps anyone.
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Don't take him back unless you are sure that he will not cheat; he will feed upon your uncertainty. If he is able to tell that you're doubting yourself, who says he wont use that against you? A lot of people will probably try to tell you that if you really love him you should endure the oain from him betraying you because soon he'll see you actually love him and maybe he'll change. MAYBE!!!!...how can you be certain that once he realizes you love so much that you're letting him cheat that he won't do it more often? He is a tool, a user, a(exscuse my french) a douche!! But thats just from your description, you didn't say anything nice about him except that you loved him leaving me to believe he isn't really that great, then again I could be wrong. You say you're 16...how do you know what love is? Don't get me wrong, I'm 16 too and i'm actually in love, but you never described why you loved him you just said he did. Did he make you lose your breath just by looking into your eyes? Did you gasp everytime his fingers brushed against your skin? Did you cry everytime he kissed you, because it was so passionate? Did you wake up at night longing for him to be beside you? Did you?
If this second guy treats you the way you claim then get rid of him too!! You sound like an amazing person and you deserve a guy that shows up on time, call/texts regularly just to say hey, a guy who has the balls to tell you what you don't wanna hear but atleast it's the truth, a guy who DOESN'T cheat on you!! You can't worry about hurting your current boyfriend when he is CURRENTLY hurting you!! You come first, and not in a selfish way! If someone is causing you so much stress and pain you owe it to yourself to get out of that relationship!! What you need to do is find someone who loves you before you go and fall in love with them!!!
but that's just what I think!
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hey girl, wow when i read this i thought of exactly what i went through and am currently going through. im going to give you all the advice i can so that maybe you won't get hurt like i did.
ex boyfriend- cheater!
current boyfriend- liar!
when i was 17 i was in love with my bf. we dated for a year. he loved me and always told me we would be together forever. we wanted to go to the same college and even did stupid stuff like planning our wedding that would happen someday (:
we told eachother about our past relationship at the beg. of our relationship and when he said he cheated on his ex i didnt think anything of it caz he said he had "CHANGED" and he would never hurt me. well he did. he cheated on me and then blamed it on me and said that he couldnt handle all these guys looking at me and me bein around guys all the time (caz i model). we broke up because he couldnt be faithful. about 2 months later we start talking again and he begs me to come back and says that he is a loyal man now and wants to be with me, so in the process of us getting back together (we were together unofficially) he goes off and cheats again and it hurt me so bad caz i opened myself up again and he jus tore me apart.
i am now with my new bf and hes a sweet guy but he doesnt txt much and hes really shy. at times i miss my ex but you gotta tell yourself tht you deserve better than that. hunny, hes your EX for a reason, and once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater and its soo true.
as for your problem, i would stick with your bf and leave your ex in the past. let him no that he had his chance and he lost it. it was his fault and you deserve a loyal guy. i know it will be hard caz you love him but if you go back to him it will cause you more pain because the truth is once he has you back he will disrespect you and continue to be unfaithful. dont let him win girl. let him leave with regret of the huge mistake he made by letting your relationship go.
goodluck and if you need anymore help with this or anything else jus message me (inbox me.
<3 heatherr 18/f
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I don't think you should give your ex another chance. I went through the exact same thing as you. I gave him a lot of chances, and he continued to cheat. You said that "he seems legit this time". Doesn't he always?
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The truth is we cannot love someone if we are still in love with our past spouse. From what you have posted it doesn't sound like neither your ex or your current boyfriend is really someone that is going to be faithful to you. Cheaters are not only cheaters but liars as well and more than likely because you are gone and have moved on your ex is willing to say and do anything to get you back. You said yourself some guys only tell you what you want to hear that doesn't always mean they are telling the truth. A little advice...If you don't want to get hurt again than don't go back. The reason why he probably seems so serious this time is because you finally put a foot down and moved forward
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Your ex-boyfriend cheated on you (assuming more than once.) that is a big no-no, he had his chance. Like they say, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. That boy is a big load of drama. Would you be able to cope with that? You deserve better anyway.
Your current boy friend apparently has some rough edges, but I think you have better chances with him. You should probably confront him about his lack of communication and constant tardiness, if he doesn't take you seriously, I would consider sending him on his way.
You are 16, that means none of this is terribly serious, there is plenty of time for you to find a fantastic guy, and there are plenty of fish in the sea. On day you'll meet a guy who you fall so hard for you won't sleep at night, so in retrospect this will all seem petty.
Best Wishes.
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