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don't want to be in a relationship
So I am a freshman in college and I've been on a couple dates with this guy who really likes me a lot. I think hes adorable and sweet and stuff, and it's not like there are any other guys in my life right now, it's just that I don't want to be tied down in a relationship, at least for my first year in college. Is it selfish of me to want to continue dating him but not be labeled his girlfriend? and even so, i have a feeling hes going to ask me to be his girlfriend soon, so how on earth do i tell him how i feel without hurting his feelings?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
This actually happened to me not too long ago. The girl at that time told me she had lots going on and even though dates were fun, she didn't want a boyfriend at the moment. I appreciated that very much. I still went out with her a few times but it took a lot of pressure off of me too.
If you tell him you like him but because the first year in college is important to both of you, he's probably really receptive to that. Being with someone is hard work, but dating is fun and light, you need someone to destress with, not try to build a life with.
Back to my experience: after another girl told me a similar thing, I told her "I'm not looking for marriage doll, I just enjoy your company". This pretty much set the tone. I still see her around from time to time, and even though I'm as single as a 40oz. in a conveinience store now, that chick is still highly thought of in my book, being straight and honest is the way to go. So many people arent these days.
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hey!hahah...i'm like that too...being tied down is not so cool...but i think that you should tell him you can't be his girlfriend but you guys can date....cuz being a girlfriend is like being in a marriage, and you are all tied down like you said...but with dating, you can date a lot of people at once :D...you can still have your fun with him and other people too and enjoy your time in college!:D
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You should just tell him now before he asks you. It would hurt more. So now is better. Just let him know that you don't want a relationship yet because of everything that's going on. Good luck!
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I think the best way is too tell him for now you would like to remain friends. If he asked why? Then tell him why you have a lot going on in your life right now but when things start to settle down you would like to try taking the friendship to the next level. Simply put and I'm sure he will understand were you are coming from
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The best thing to do is to tell him now. You need to tell him you want a platonic relationship before he decides he wants to take it farther. It may not seem like you are leading him on, since you've never told him you wanted a relationship, but you are. It doesn't have to be harsh or disappointing, but it has to be direct and straight-forward. Don't beat around the bush.
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You don't have to make it about him, you could just casually say "I don't want to be in a relationship." You could probably even make it so that by the time you're done with the conversation he's agreeing with you. I don't think it's selfish at all! You're supposed to be playing the field. Just as long as you are honest with others and don't lead them on, the world is your oyster.
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