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first time
15/f
So I have decided to have sex with my boy friend for the very first time. I haven't been pressured into this decision infact when I told him he asked me to think it through and make sure for a fact this is what I want. I know this is what I want, because I love him with all my heart and soul. He is my everything and I want to give him everything I can and he already contains my heart and mind because I love him with all my heart and I think about him all the time. The only thing left for me to give him is my virginity and this is because I want him to have it. So I know I am ready for sex and I was just wondering if like I could get some pointers as to how to make this the easiest on me, my body, and my beloved, cause he doesn't want to hurt me and I know it is going to. Basically is there anything I or he can do to make it hurt less??
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Gotta love this website. Denial and "Have you seen secret life of the American Teenager" answers.
I'm going to assume that I cannot change your mind (I would if I could, sex at 15 is just not a great idea under any circumstances for reasons that won't change until you're capable of holding down a job, paying rent, and caring for a baby all at once) and continue from there.
The only actual advice I will give you is this. Relationships are about being with someone you trust. Someone who you can be awkward in front of. Someone you can laugh about the good, the bad, and the ugly with. Don't go into this with expectations, just do what you can and type every sex related word you know into google followed by "instructions" if you can't figure something out.
Other than that.
- Condom. This is non negotiable. I don't care if you're both virgins, pregnancy doesn't give a shit how often you've had sex.
- VCF. Vaginal Contraceptive Film. Same area as the condoms in any CVS/Walgreens/Wal-Mart/Whatever. Read the instructions, its pretty simple. I suggest them because its a second barrier against pregnancy in case of condom breakage (and it can happen occasionally). Condoms and VCF together is probably about as reliable as birth control.
- Speaking of, Birth Control. Get on it. If you're sexually active, it is the only responsible way to go.
- That means gyno visits! If you can't figure out a way to arrange a gyno visit, you don't need to be having sex. Period. Self maintenance is part of being an adult, and once you are active you should visit the gyno once a year for a check up. Figure it out.
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yeah ....Dont Have Sex yet. You have no rush. First learn how to set your mind on a goal career and responsibility then worry about this sex and giving yourself thing. I bet if you get pregnant for having sex with him you would not want to be pregnant...wierd howd you be willing to say you love him and thats hes your world but would not want to get pregant. My thought is if your not willing to accept pregnancy dont do it yet until youre more mature. Your not ready for sex cause if you were youd be more responsible and would NOT pressure him into having sex..just give him time sheez!! ever think about that? he might not want to have sex or have sex with you. THINK about it
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have you ever watched the secret life of the american teenager? it pretty much lists ever sex scenario ever encountered in a teenagers life. you either regret it with guilt because its with the wrong person, or too soon. its bad or you wind up pregnant.. i reccommend watching that before you commit to it. i was 16 when i lost my virginity to a good friend of mine and though i done regret him having it i wish i has saved it for mr. right. because now ive given evrything i have away to someone that is not my husband and all i have to give him is second hand goods. so consider it and wait and consider it and wait, i think its great that your bf wants you to be sure because most guys like to be your first because a girl never forgets her first
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I'd say the best way to lose it, is if you're on top. You can control the speed, the thrusts motion and all, it should also hurt less.
Like the other advisor said, stop if needed. It took me 2 failing atempts because of the pain, but on our third, it was a winner, haha.
As for bleeding it differs, I bled very little the 1st time, the second time was A WHOLE HECK LOT (keep in mind these were our failing times -.-) The third was barely any, and now there's none, so it's different for everyone. try to get as aroused as you can, the wetter the better! ;D
Easier for it to go in and more pleasurable for you too.
Minor tips? Hmmm, I'd say make sure he rubs your clitoris, this will also make it easier for you to take him in and will make you feel great.
It will be awkward and embarrassing the first couple of times, or maybe not at all, it's different for everyone, I know mine was awkward...anyways just relaxe and most importantly USE A CONDOM!!! Or be sure to be on the pill already for atleast a month. Trust me, it's for your own good, if you don't want any unexpected surprises later. :b
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Hey, i recently started having sex with my boyfriend of over a year too. Honestly, there will not be a lot of blood during, just a bit of spotting after, just to clear that up haha. I was shocked when there wasnt too much blood.
A FEW THINGS:
1-the first time is awkward, and weird. Make sure not to forget the foreplay, or you will not be wet, there will be friction and it will hurt more than it should.
2-have a lubricant ready in case you need it. The first time, i didnt, but then, about a week ago, i bought some. It helped so much. it didnt hurt at all when he entered me.
3-if it hurts, tell him to STOP FOR A MINUTE so you can breathe and adjust.. and if you need to stop, tell him. If he really cares about you, he will understand. If not, get him the hell out of your life.
4-relax and have fun! It will hurt a lot for the first 5 minutes. Then it will get a little easier, but still hurt. The second time it will get better. It will be awkward, you will feel weird, but it does get better, i promise. Goodluck! hope i helped.
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