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Loving someone that's your best friends boyfriend
Hi,i'm a 14 year old girl and my best friends boyfriend loves me and i love him! Help Me!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
To reverse the time honored saying, Hos before Bros. Abide by the friend code, he's off limits until they've been broken up for more than 6 months, and you will not at any time inform him that you're willing to date him until that time passes.
In all likely hood, even if you two dated, it wouldn't last. Best friends can last. Don't fuck it up over hormones.
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Sigh. Alright.
1) You may get pissed off about this, but honestly, you don't LOVE him. Teenagers don't REALLY know what love is (dont' believe that Twilight shit. it's not REAL). I don't even think I've truly experienced it yet. You may like him. You may think he's attractive. But love is more than that. It's a commitment and a compromise, above all. And it's knowing that your partner is someone you're going to want to be with 2 days from now, six months from now, 20 years from now. Obviously, you can't know this for sure. How can you? You're really only a kid, you don't know where your life's headed yet,so you can't decide on who to spend your future with. In the next 10 years, your plans, goals, and interests can and will change dramatically. And chances are that in 10 years, this guy you claim to 'love' will no longer fit into that picture.
2) This is your BEST FRIEND. There's kind of an unwritten law most people with a conscience follow... you DO NOT date your friend's boyfriend. Doing so may get you a not-so-lovely reputation.
3) How can you be so sure that, even if you do end up together, he won't start "loving" another girl? It happened with you and him, it can happen again.
Think about this. REALLY THINK. Be mature. Would you really want to hurt your friend? Is it really WORTH IT? As you get older, guys will come and go, but your friends will always be there for you. Trust me, there WILL be other guys. I know right now it may seem like he's your soul mate and you'll never "love" again, but you will. You're young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Stay out of your friend's relationship and find someone else.
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You are in a very difficult position. The way to guide yourself through this is to act with integrity. If the boy you love is dating your best friend, it is not honorable for you to carry on secretly behind her back. While things are still innocent, you need to either talk to her about it, or make a personal decision to let your feelings for the boy go. A word of warning, if you tell your friend you love her boyfriend it will change your relationship. Most likely for the worse. But if you think you cant live without him, it is more honorable than cheating behind her back.
Men tend to come and go in ones life, especially when you are in your teens. Often times what feels so much like love, isnt. Its just physical attraction. (Though that can be no little thing at 14.) If your friend has been your friend for a long time, and you have a history of trust and loyalty, you should consider that very carefully when weighing out whether or not to break up the friendship over a boy.
I also think that you should consider that this boy is somehow giving you the impression that he loves you, but he is not discussing it with his girlfriend. Apparently, she is also getting the impression the he loves her. This could be a bad sign regarding the young man. Or, it could be that your friend refuses to see the signs. Thats something for you to consider. Those are things YOU could do to remain honorable in your friendship.
HIS honorable option is to break up with her, and tell her that he has feelings for you, or to let his feelings for you go. Aside from your telling your friend how you feel, or leaving the boy alone romantically if you prefer, you really dont have anything to do. Its not your job to break them up, its his. If he wants to. If he doesnt want to do the honorable thing, and tell her how he feels and why they should break up, then I would run, not walk, away from him. How he handles things with your best friend is a very strong indication of how he will handle things with you. Remember that.
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For one your 14 your not in love and your friend will get over it, orr she'll hold a grudge forever, depending on the kinda girl she is. Honestly you can help who you like and its not either of your fault. Talk to him and ask him what he wants to do and maybe even talk about telling your friend and his girlfriend. i know its hard but in the end it will be for the better!
Hope i helped (:
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you need to just respect the fact that he's your best friends boyfriend and stay away. how much could he love you if he's with her? if he breaks up with her then you can do whatever but i definetly wouldn't advise it unless you want to lose your best friend...
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