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My Mom Doesn't Understand My Fear of Heights
I'm a 15-year-old girl and I have always had a fear of heights. But my mother and sister love thrill rides. As a result, we often go to theme parks. When we do, I'll usually go on a couple of the "kiddie rides," which is what Mom calls "mild" rides. Mom and my sister try to drag me on the roller coasters, but I always say no.
After I refuse a few times, Mom will finally snap. The last time it happened she said: "You know what? I'm not paying for your ticket if you're going to wimp out and not go on any rides."
I have been driven to tears more than once. She won't stop even if my friends are with us. I wish I could stay home when they go, but then my mom accuses me of being "antisocial."
Please tell me what I can do or say to her to make her stop doing this.
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I had the exact same problem. I still don't like going to theme parks because of it!
One option that many parks offer is a "grounds admission". It costs way less than a regular admission, and gets you into the park, just you can't go on rides.
Unfortunately, people who don't have a phobia don't understand people who do. However, if there is something your mom is terrified of, try comparing roller coasters to that... for example, riding a roller coaster for you is like sitting in a bathtub full of spiders for her (if she happens to hate spiders).
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I find that I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
What you are suffering with is called Acrophobia, one of many phobias that manifest as a panic attack. I did some searching on line and found a great article on acrophobia at about.com. I will place the link to the page at the end and ask that you follow the link and read about the symptoms and also the symptoms of vertigo which closely mimic acrophobia but is a medical condition and is treated differently.
In your letter you did not say if you have ever sat down spoken with your mother about your fear of heights. You need to do this some place that is quiet where you will not be interrupted. If necessary ask mom to go with you to a coffee shop or a park. Then tell her what it is like for you when you are forced to go on high places and also when she say’s what she has said to you. Have the page I asked you to read printed out for her to read. Then ask her to make a doctor’s appointment for you with the family doctor for a medical exam to rule out Vertigo. Once your doctor is satisfied you are not suffering from vertigo ask for a referral to a therapist who specializes in the area of phobias’.
People who do not suffer from phobias find them difficult to understand. Phobias are irrational fears, I should know as I am claustrophobic. I know in reality the walls can’t close in on me, but put me in the right circumstances those walls move right in on me. I don’t care what their made of they just move right in on me. So I know what you are experiencing. This is nothing to be embarrassed about we all have are phobias.
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Apparently, she doesn't understand your phobia. There isn't much you can do to make her stop pushing you if she doesn't understand, so, if I were you, I wouldn't go. I would just accept the fact that she thinks your antisocial for staying home and leave it at that. Sometimes, people don't understand what's going on inside of us. That's just the real world.
Don't let it bother you. It's not that big a del.
That said, you should seek counseling for your fear of heights. Phobias can get a lot worse if you don't face them and deal with them right away. You could even develop other phobias on top of this one.
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