Should I confront my boyfriend who lied about something small?
Question Posted Tuesday June 9 2009, 2:07 am
This is going to sound a little stupid probably, but my boyfriend has lied to me about something small and now it's totally made me wonder if I can really trust him.
Basically, he told me that he couldn't really afford to go crazy and all-out on our one year anniversary day, which I was completely fine with, but then he kept going on about wanting to buy this Playstation 3 game that was something like $70. Anyway, I found out that he bought it a couple of days ago, but he told me it was only $10 because he had traded in some games at the same time; however, he accidentally left the receipt for it in the living room, which showed that this was not the actual case--that he had actually paid full price for the Playstation 3 game.
Now, before you think I'm crazy or something, my boyfriend and I have had problems in the past and have been working on getting our trust back for each other. (He had a wild night out with the boys once that totally crushed our relationship for awhile) It bothers me that he couldn't just be honest with me about this, I guess. I mean, it wouldn't have been a big deal at all...why lie?
littlemisschatterbox answered Wednesday June 10 2009, 8:35 pm: This doesn't sound like "something small" to me. He flat out lied to you; no matter what his intentions were, it's not something he should have done. If he didn't want a big anniversary celebration, he could have said so. Ask him about the Playstation. Clarify that you aren't concerned about the money, you're concerned about the lying. I'm sure it's something you guys can straighten out, but you definitely shouldn't ignore it. [ littlemisschatterbox's advice column | Ask littlemisschatterbox A Question ]
christina answered Wednesday June 10 2009, 7:40 am: Your boyfriend pretty much chose a PS3 over you for your anniversary.
elw5039 answered Tuesday June 9 2009, 11:44 am: I do not think that you are overreacting. It would bother me too.
With that said, I do think you should say something to him, but dont cause a big argument over it. Just calmly tell him that you saw the reciept in the living room and you dont understand why he would lie over it. Tell him it wouldnt have been a big deal but now your upset and a little hurt that he lied to you. Just tell him how it made you feel to find out he lied and that you dont want to have to worry about stuff like that. If he doesnt give you much of an explanation just end it with saying that you would really appreciate it if he could just try a little harder to be honest with you, no matter how big or small it may seem.
mariahwannabe answered Tuesday June 9 2009, 11:16 am: You're not over reacting.
It's not fair you're trying your best to be open and honest and he isn't.
I don't think he lies to you a lot, I think just lied to steer clear of another argument,
he may have thought you'd be angry that he wouldnt want to splash out too much on your aniversary, but splash out on a gift for himself.
I bet he planned to buy the gift for himself for a while, and therefore had been waiting till he could afford it, the anniversary just happens to fall on the same time he wanted to buy something for himself.
There are two ways to go about this
1) Leave it. It was a little white lie, he lied to steer clear of an argument, now if you leave it - you'll be doing the same.
2) You could confront him, but will it turn into an argument? Obviously I don't know what he's like. You could gently tell him that you know he paid full price for it , and tell him although you understand that he probarbly didnt want to upset you, you're okay with it, and remind him it doesnt help with the whole honesty thing you guys are trying out
JustJessOx answered Tuesday June 9 2009, 10:01 am: Hey,
Okay First off no I certainly dont think you are over reacting.
espicially since this happend before
what your boyfriend did in my opinion was selfish and unfair to you.
how does he ever expect to get the trust back if he isnt upfront about things like this?
its understandable to want to treat yourself to things now and a again and he probably feels like he wanted something for himself everyone gets this way in relationships and they make secret splurges that they hide from each other.
he went about it the complete wrong way though what he should have done was explained to you how he felt told you he wanted this game,and you both could have worked something out maybe agreed to buy it for him for his birthday or something.
tell him your anniversy meant alot to you and that you didnt mind if he couldnt go all out just the fact that he lied about it hurt you,tell him its making you question the trust again and that you really want it to work but if he keeps up this behaviour how is it going to?
explain exactly how you feel hopefully he will see sense and understand,and apologise for lying.
Hope it works out and that I helped! =]
Jessie [ JustJessOx's advice column | Ask JustJessOx A Question ]
HotSauce answered Tuesday June 9 2009, 9:52 am: Overreacting? Most videogamers would probable say yes.(lol) I'd say no, if you're suppose to be so important to him, why would he go buy a 70 dollar game instead of an anniversery gift?
He could always get the game some other time, couldn't he?
I'd confront him, if you want a fight. If not, and you didnt care about a gift, then just let it go.. I don't think you're very happy in the relationship you're in though.. (just an opinion.) [ HotSauce's advice column | Ask HotSauce A Question ]
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