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sex at 13
Me and my "boyfriend" had sex for the first time. He's a big jock and I was really excited that someone was actually interested in me. So when he came over to my house he wanted to have sex and I for some reason agreed to do it with him. Anyway, my period was 4 days late and I was freaking out and my bestfriend told me to take some pregnancy tests. All three of them that I took were positive. I told my "boyfriend" about it and he just laughed and broke up with me. I want to keep the baby, but I don't want to me known as a slut for the rest of my school life because I made one mistake. I don't know what to do. i still have to tell my parents too and they think I've never even have had a boyfriend before. I just need some advise, and please don't say, "your way to young to be having sex" because I already understand this. Thank you!
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I came across this question in my in box, sent on May 20, but for some reason I never saw it there before. I know I'm writing this a month later, but maybe you will get an email alert someone has written to you.
I was in your shoes 21 years ago, and even my dad called me a "slut" when he found out. Then he stuck me in a foster home. You know what, all that crap I went through and I look back at my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. It made me the person I am today, and I like me.
I am sending you a lot of good wishes, no matter what your decision. You said you want to keep the baby, but a lot can happen when you are going through such a confusing time. I do hope you were able to tell your parents, and I hope they have offered you the support you need.
If you ever feel like you need some advice, or just someone to talk to, please feel free to contact me.
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You already know that you've made a stupid mistake but guess what! You're STILL making stupid mistakes for not having told your parents or seen a doctor.
I'm appalled at the other people telling you to consider abortion (especially because of your age) LIFE IS LIFE PEOPLE! Is a 13 year olds fetus different than a 30 year olds fetus? HOW DARE YOU! I suggest that ALL of you listen to this speech given by a young girl the same age as the girl asking this question.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
please.don't.kill.your.baby. PLEASE.
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It may be wrong, but I'd consider abortion.
And tell your parents.
They'll be angry with you and probarbly lose trust, but that's better than bringing a baby into the world where the father is a dick, and that baby wont have a father,and that the baby was an "accident". I'd hate to be a child that wasnt actually meant to be born..
Tell you parents, or someone like a sibling, cousin or trusting adult and consider abortion. You havn't lived life yet and it's not fair that one tiny mistake can cost you the rest of new experiences and memories.
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Im not going to tell you that you are too young to have sex, because I for one, don't believe that. I had sex when I was 15, and being as in todays year 2009, It has changed and people are having sex at young ages. Whatever you do, don't get an abortion. My two best friends have ended up pregnant, one of them decided to keep it, later on having a misscariage, and the other decided to get an abortion and after that she went suicidal and almost ended up in a mental hospital. They were both 16 at the time. If you are worried about being known as a slut, you need to realize though some people will think of you like that, but it doesn't mater what others think. You need to make grown up decisions from now on and not care because now its about you and your baby. If you are worried about your parents, most parents will be dissapointed at first, but will be more than willing to help.
Good luck.
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You've obviously understood that you made a stupid mistake.
Definitely tell your parents, no matter how hard it will be to do so.
However, I'm generally not for abortion, but in this situation, I think you should consider this.
You are only thirteen. You haven't even finished school left.
Nine months of being pregnant will be hell for you in school. If any of your friends find out, there'll be a lot of nasty rumours around school.
Consider an abortion, tell you parents what you want.
And next time you have sex, think about it.
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Ok, first and foremost, you have to tell your parents. As hard as this will be, you have to. Their your outlet to seeing a doctor and properly caring for you and your child during this time. As you already guessed, of course they're not going to be happy. You already know that. But, there is also no way around this one. They have to know. As someone else suggested, talk to the parent you get along with better first. This may help ease the tension for when your other parent finds out.
Second, you MUST see a doctor, no matter what you're planning on doing with the baby. Protect your child's health, whether you plan on keeping it or not. You can't go through a pregnancy without proper care from a doctor: running tests, making sure the baby is doing ok by hearing the heartbeat and ultrasound, monitoring the babys health and your well being as well during pregnancy. If you do not plan on keeping it, give it up for adoption. Everyone has their own beliefs, but I personally would not get an abortion. At least give your child a chance at life, even if someone else will be taking care of him/her. The least you could do at this point is last the 9 months of pregnancy for the baby's sake. Also, have you thought about the possibility of your parents taking care of the baby? That way, your child can still be a part of your life and you can help take care of it as much as you can.
As for your "boyfriend", he is young too and doesn't know what to do. He is being a complete jerk right now, yes, but he doesn't understand the concept of responsibilities yet. You both are very young, and this type of situation is scary to anyone. I got pregnant at the age of 20, and I was terrified so trust me, I can only imagine what you are going through right now.
In the end, everything will be okay. Yes, you made a mistake. But, in the end, you are giving a child a chance at life. This is, above all, YOUR child, and is the most precious thing in the world. Take a deep breath, think hard about everything going on right now, take it all in, and most important, take responsibility for your actions and do what is right in the end.
Take care, good luck, and please email me if ever needed.
babyash1669@yahoo.com
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Hi, you're to young to be having sex! Just kidding, to each his own my dear. Lets see you haven't told your parents, and you haven't seen a doctor?
Well sweetie let me tell you, you're parents will probable tell you you're crazy for wanting to keep your baby. Even though If I was your parent I'd make you keep it. Just for the fact that you were (no offence hun seriously) dumb enough to lay down and have sex, then you can keep that baby you've created.
I don't seriously think it'd be good for you to keep the baby, but sence you're so young I can't see you uhmm having it and giving it up. You'd probable be more of a wreck then you already are for the rest of your life.
Just present this issue with your parents slowly... because we all know there going to freak.
But good luck! Please be smart, and you should have used protection. -palm2forhead-
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If you understand that you were too young to be having sex, then why did you? I understand the shock and happiness girls tend to get when certain guys go out with them, but that doesn't mean you should give it all up right away. I'm not going to scold you though.
For telling your parents, you need to sit down the parent who's more easier to talk with first. If you're closer with your mom or your dad, tell them first and then telling your other parent could be a little easier.
Obviously, you need to think about your options when it comes down to this whole thing. You can put the baby up for adoption, you can have an abortion, and you can keep it. I think you should have an adoption. Rather than killing your baby, you can give it a good home to someone who needs it more than you do.
I can't say you won't be called a slut when you go to school and the word spreads. It will probably happen, and other girls will probably give you a ton of shit. But, if your parents are understanding when you tell them, maybe you can come up with an alternative solution about school. See if you can take a leave from school & get a tutor to come to your house and teach you.
I really hope you get some help with this because you really need it. I also hope you never make this mistake again. Maybe what's going to happen will give you a little insight and big lesson to learn.
Good luck sweetie, you need it.
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