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Babies
Wasn't to sure what folder to put this in, so I hope this is the right one!!
Since I was about 14 I've wanted to have a baby so much, and to make it worse 8 of My close friends have recently had babies (It isn't one of them "well If My friends have one I want one" moments) none of which where planned.
However Me and my Boyfriend both want a child, sooner rather than later we have spoke about where we would live, about income and how we would support our child.
In all honesty I know I'm ready to be a Mum.
I am currently going into My last year at collage where I am studying 4 academic subjects and planning to go to university in the future.
I know people will say wait till I am older and have more to offer My child but I want someone to give Me honest oppinons and let Me know about maybe any experiences they have had.
The Last part of My problem is if I was to ave a child, I know My family would not be best please, they would support Me, but I know that I would have let them down!!
Whenever I see somebody else with a beautiful baby girl or boy, I can just imagine myself in that position giving a baby un conditional love and anything which they need.
Please give Me your honest advice as I would very much appreciate it.
!Thanks!
Female - 17 -
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I know how you feel im 13 and i wish i was married with kids already
but if thats what you truly wannted and you want your child to have unconditional love then you should wait till you and your bf finish collage get married by a house and then have a child i no its hard to weight but trust me that the RIGHT way to do it i hope i helped
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I understand you completely.
I just recently turned 18, and being a mother is my biggest dream. I get so jealous when I am with my friends who have become parents, or who are currently expecting, because I want to be in that position so badly.
You just have to understand that if this is what you truly want, it would be in the best interest of your future child to wait. I know you don't want to hear this from anyone, but it's really what's best for you and your future family.
When I get aggravated and have my "baby mania" moments, I just have to look back a re-assess my situation. I have at least 4 years of college ahead of me, and when I have a baby I want to have a great income so I can give my baby everything he or she needs and more, a house, and a supportive family. My family loves me, and will always love me no matter what happens. However just like your family, a baby is not what they want for me right now.
You should re-assess your situation as well. No one can stop you from having a child if that is what you want, but is that really what you need right now? Your plans of going to university in the future will stay just that if you have a kid right now. It will never happen, regardless of what you may say. So go ahead and do that now. You said yourself you only have one year left. Take summer classes to make the time go by faster, and after landing a good job and a home, then start trying for a baby. A few more years really are not that long when you consider that you will have a baby for the rest of your life. That's not something you can put on hold.
Just think about it.
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its a big thing to think about because if you had a baby you would have to drop every thing wate until your ready ok you got lots of time wate on till you out of college ect youll understand what i mean time for freedom what you have a kid you cant do some tings look around hope this helps
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"Whenever I see somebody else with a beautiful baby girl or boy, I can just imagine myself in that position giving a baby un conditional love and anything which they need."
YOU CAN'T OFFER ANYTHING WHICH THEY NEED RIGHT NOW!!!
Becoming the best mother you could possibly be is a goal just like any other goal. Not every woman has it, but some do. Your one of those! Don't look at it as something you want now, look at it as something you could have once your READY and CAN do that. You picturing the perfect house, the perfect family, never haven't to worry about money and such. SOMEDAY you CAN have that. Not now. Work towards your "goal". K?
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im the same way. im 17 and grew up all around my baby cousins, and now i want nothing more than to have a child with my boyfriend of 2 years. he and i have also discussed finance and living situations. however, last spring i got pregnant, and had a miscaridge. which just broke me bc i had what id always wanted, and it just...went away. but it made me realize how much responsibility and effort it would take. so things actually worked for the better. just trust me, if you wait till youre at least 22, youll be so happy you did. it will just make having a baby more wonderful, bc you had to wait longer. just wait a few years hun, youll be glad you did in the long run :) really. 17/f
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When I was seventeen years old, I thought I was very mature for my age, but I was very wrong. I made a bunch of stupid choices that I wish I hadn't made, and I think if you have a baby this young you will regret it and wish that you had waited. Having a baby wasn't one of the stupid choices I made, but I know several girls who did make that choice and purposely had babies very young. Everyone I know who has had a baby that young had a very difficult time because of it. Some of them were irresponsible parents because they thought they could still have a normal person's social life (you can't). Some of them were good moms, but suffered through enormous financial difficulties.
When you are ready to have a baby, you need to have enough money. Babies are very expensive. Even if you buy all their clothes, toys, and furniture used, it is still expensive. Formula and diapers are very expensive, and babies go through them very fast. I don't know what your financial situation is, but most people don't have enough money at 17 to take care of a baby. Also, you may have to give up those hopes of going to University. That is something you need to be prepared for, because you may not be able to go, or you may have to put it off for several years. You may have to go out and get a job (even while you're pregnant).
Secondly, you have to be mature enough to be a mom. You say you think you're ready, but most 17 year-olds are not that mature. Like I said, you will never again have a normal 17-year-old or even 18-year-old social life. You can't just go out and leave baby at home. You will have to find a babysitter, and that costs money, unless you can get someone in your family to do it for free. You have to be ready to give up a good night's sleep in exchange for getting up several times a night to feed or change your baby. I think if you are mature enough to be a mom, you're mature enough to know that you need to be able to provide a better life for your child.
Another thing is that I don't really think people should have babies with their girlfriends/boyfriends. I think you should be married. It's not a religious thing. I believe this because whether you think so or not, being married is very different from being in a committed relationship, even if you live together, pay all your bills together, etc. You can leave a boyfriend. Your boyfriend can leave you. Divorce is different. Being married is a deeper level of commitment. It is not good for children to grow up in broken homes. I believe that ideally, children fare best in homes where their parents love each other very much and are deeply committed to one another. If you guys fight a lot, it will effect your child. If you split up, it will effect your child. I guess you don't have to be married if you don't believe in it, but you have to be deeply committed to one another and know that you will stay together and love each other so your child can grow up in a home full of love.
I hope you don't think this is bad advice just because you don't agree with it. If you really want to be a good mom, you need to make sure you have the means to take care of a baby, are mature enough, and have a good relationship that is going to last forever.
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