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I didn't know what to put this under!
At school I'm not popular. I don't want to be, but I do have a problem. I'm self-conscious and I don't know how to help that. Ever since I started 7th grade I've become self-conscious. I've tried to not be, but It's hard. I have long blonde hair, but I always keep it up. I always wear a big hoodie that's black. No I'm not Emo or Gothic. It's just comfy. I wear it because of the whole self-conscious thing. My parents tell me I'm pretty and so do my friends, but I'm still self-conscious.
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A lot of girls go through this. I still am going through it and im in high school. But ive realized that the way people see you is not the way you see your self. When you look in the mirroryou pick out every little thing wrong with you dont you??? Well other people dont. They just look at who you are and how you carry yourself. If you hide yourself and you wear the same hoodie with your hair pulled up everyday people will know that your self conscious. Just put your fear of what other people think behind you and tell yourself that your beautiful becuase you are. Wear your hair down with a cute top some jeans and flats or pumps or flip flops whatever you want. Walk down the hall with a smile. People will notice that you have confidence. And i know you didnt say anything about guys in your quesion but guys like girls with confidence. as long as you have a cute personality and your not snobby or anything people will love you and your friends and family will love the new you! I promise! Good Luck & Hope i helped =]
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Self consciousness is a self corrective technique people do to themselves subconsciously.
Heres the thing.
The reason teens have such a hard problem, is that self consciousness must be fought with experience. Words and thoughts can help, but in reality what helps more is learning how to function as yourself in the world.
I'm a guy, and I'm hefty. I'm not enormous, but I'm 6'2 and have the frame of a football lineman, muscle and fat in about equal amounts.
Honestly, while it was useful for football years ago, it doesn't look that great now, nor did it when I was in football.
It took me a while to learn that I was judging myself more harshly than most people were. Thats the bad side of self consciousness. You can be alot more judgmental of yourself than most people are. The real truth is, no one cares about it as much as you do.
You're not comfy with doing things. Understandable. But you aren't going to be alright unless you take a few risks. Your approach, you make yourself into someone who doesn't look like she seeks approval so that everyone leaves you alone. You avoid rejection by avoiding notice in the first place if you can.
Thats bad.
You need to get outside your comfort zone.
The comfort zone is how we refer to a phenomena where people will define their world based on whats ok with them and whats not ok. They then bask in the area they are ok with while avoiding everything they aren't completely comfy with like the plauge.
This is bad. It keeps you from getting off your ass and experiencing life. Spending too much time in your comfort zone means you become more and more incapable of stepping outside it.
The trick here is to force yourself outside it. If you do something enough, it becomes routine, you become ok with it, and you can carry about with life as normal. Not only that, but if you step outside the areas you're comfy with more often, you will become more comfy with the taking of steps outside of your comfort zone as well as the places you're stepping into.
So lets say you stop wearing the hoodie. You ask a friend who knows clothes for advice, put together a few outfits that OTHER people think look good on you. You wear them out and ditch the hoodie.
It won't take that long before you don't feel you need the hoodie anymore. Same thing with your hair. Wear it down, do something to it. What are you afraid of that you feel you need to wear your hair up constantly?
You don't have to do these things for others approval. I personally think that wanting to be able to do something is enough reason to give it a shot.
Step outside your comfort zone more often. Get used to it, force yourself when you have to and let your friends do it for you if they can/want to.
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okay , well at my school theres this qirl at my school and she's alomost just like you.
she has lonq black hair && always wheres a hoodie.
butt one day she came to school in a nice form fittinq shirt with her hair down. she looked completly different. she definatley turned heads. in a qood way.
so maybe you could try that.
like maybe qet lonq choppy layers on your hair.
&& a nice cute shirt.
hope i helped. (:
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Well try wearing something different. Maybe get another sweater but with color. Go and get your haircut in a different style and let it down some. Put on just a little makeup. You'll progress in time. Don't worry.
plurk.com/iscarley
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