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my boyfriend is already wanting me to have sex with him
Iam 20 years old and iam a female my boyfriend is 21 years old and we have only been dating for a week and he's alredy asking me when we are going to makeout and have sex and he says he's the kind of guy who is very sexually active and I told him that I just don't think iam ready for that kind of serious relationship that he wants especially since the last time I had done something sexual with a guy when I was 18 which it was only oral sex so iam still a virgin but the guy hasn't talked to me once since we had oral sex and iam afraid if I do this it will happen to me again what should I do?
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You're not ready. It's all he wants. Simple. Time to call it quits.
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Sex is mutual. It doesn't happen until both parties want it and are OK with it. Granted, vision doesn't always equal reality, but in my opinion thats how it should work, and you'd be alot better off if you took the idea and ran with it.
Its not your responsibility to satisfy his sexual urges before you're ready to have sex. He can break up with you, or go masturbate. Until you're ready, those are your choices.
I make allowances. Some guys are just horny, want it, but try to put as little pressure as possible. These guys will respect your request to not ask when you will be ready or try to set goals or deadlines. Talk to your boy. Tell him that you're fine talking about sex when its not in the heat of the moment, but you need to confidently state that sex is not right for you right now, and that when YOU think its right, IF you think its right, you'll let him know.
If he walks, you're better off.
As a virgin, I think your top priority should be the relationship and not sex. I usually recommend 6 months or more before you take the sex step, if only because that gives you enough time to actually get to know each other, and care about each other.
Tell him its going to be 6 months before its on the table, and thats in no way a guarantee or deadline. If he is anything but understanding, you need to walk. Any guy who complains or guilt trips you because he isn't getting laid is a whiny bitch who doesn't deserve sex in the first place.
I don't know. I was raised to believe that you're supposed to WANT to be with someone that you're with, and that extended itself into sex for me as well. Guys these days are raised where sex isn't a big deal, which is fucking stupid. Sex is retardedly complicated, brings a ton of emotion into things, and can utterly destroy your life in several different ways. Yet teens just think "oh, I'm fine, everyone else does it!"
Yeah, thats why America has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the world.
Do yourself a favor, and put guys through their paces before you let them get laid. Remember that in truth, you hold that power alone, and the choice to have sex is almost completely up to you. Take your time, find a guy who pays more attention to you than "does she look in the mood?" and rock his world.
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don't do it unless you want to. here's the deal, having sex with virgins is frequently called "trainwreck sex", reasoning: its so bad, but you just can't look away. nobody's automatically awesome at something the first time you pick it up, anything requires practice. you didn't get discouraged by falling over on your first try at riding a bike, did you? no, you put some training wheels on and tried again. getting back to something resembling relevance, he's horny, he wants some action. ask yourself this: do I want to have sex with this guy, am I ready to have sex with this guy, and is he the kind of guy that will still care for me even if (more of a when)I turn out to be terrible in bed?
you obviously care, but does he care as well?
much luck
-Gunner
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If I were you, I'd break up with him. You already told him that you weren't ready for a serious relationship, and he keeps pushing you to do something that you aren't ready for. He knows it, but keeps pushing it anyways.
He doesn't seem to be interested in you for anything other than sex. Do not let him push you or talk you into anything you do not want.
Break up with him. You can do better than some sex-starved loser that has no respect for you.
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Dont do anything until you are ready. Dont ever let any guy, no matter how much you like them, talk you into doing something you dont want to do. If he really cares about, he will wait until you are ready and support your decisions. If you give in when you are not ready, you will regret it.
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It's important that you only do what you are comfortable with. If your boyfriend cares about you, he will wait. It has only been a week after all. You don't want to be put in a situation where you're pressured into doing something (especially losing your virginity) you're not ready for. If something goes wrong and you break up, you'll greatly regret losing your virginity when you weren't ready, and to someone who wasn't that special.
In my personal experience, I would definitely have my guard up if I were you. Dating a guy for one week and already being pressured into sex? It's a good sign that he wants one thing. I'm not telling you to break up with him, but I would definitely be watching my back if I were you.
Hope this helps :D
-Darby
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Simply tell your boyfriend you're not ready yet. You want to wait until the time is right and special for you two. Whether it would be next week or a few months down the road; you simply want to wait.
He would be a true boyfriend if he understands. If he can't and really needs that sex, tell him then it's not going to work. He may pressure you, but don't give in. If he really cared for you he'd wait with you.
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You might get this advice a lot but if a guy pushes you into having sex when your not ready, then he doesnt love you or care enough about you. I understand hes 21 and all most guys only want sex but dont push yourself. Take things slow. I hope this helped.
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