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should I take her back?
Me and my girlfriend are 20 years old. We been going out for 2 years and 10 months. But on our anniversary I found a text message in her phone from another guy which called her babe and if he could call her at 9.15. I broke up with her and I don't know what to do.
She told me that she met this guy once before we started going out, he lives in LA but I don't know what to believe, she also told me that she's never done anything. And doesn't plan to meet him. She said she doesn't talk to him all the time, but its only been about less than 1 month that he started talking to her.
I don't know what to do. I love her. But I don't know if I can forgive her. What do I do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
She hasn't strayed, you have nothing to forgive her for.
Girls are allowed to seek opposite sex friendships. You have the right to know who she's friends with, and the right to some assurance that its purely platonic, but thats something I imagine you two haven't talked about yet.
Two years, you two need to be talking more.
Its important for you to lead on this. As a guy, I know how easy it is to just not talk about shit. Its easy to just forget about issues, and to not share whats going on in your head with her.
Two years in, you both need to start. I know what my girlfriend is thinking and she knows what I'm thinking. Part of being in a relationship and actually working to make it healthy is bringing up subjects you both want to talk about, and calmly discussing them together like adults.
Even when it hurts a bit.
Talk to her about this guy. Talk to her about what she wants in the relationship. Ask her what she's thinking, because its pretty important to know at this stage. Close to three years, you're moving through the fighting stages and maturing into something that can endure a good bit of punishment (or, you should be)
You love her. Get over yourself.
Try this.
"I feel like my trust was violated. I don't think you have done anything that I wouldn't want, but I wasn't prepared for the idea of you having a guy friend to talk to online. We've never talked about it, and so jealous instinct is just trying to take over. I guess I just want to be reassured that I am what you want, and that you're not talking to anyone else because theres a problem with us."
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Having been in both shoes, I don't think it was fair to her that you reacted the way you did. You have no proof that they have ever been anything more than friends and all you can do at this point is trust. Don't end your relationship of almost three years because of a silly text message that could mean absolutely nothing.
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I know those two other advice givers were a little harsh. I think your doing the right thing. This call texted her calling her babe. First off he shouldn't call her that I am a guy and I don't like girls that are my friends babe at all. Then he wanted to talk to her. So it seems to me that they could have started something in the near future. Just because he lived in LA doesn't mean they couldn't of had a relationship. What you need to do is just ask yourself do you think you could trust. Because if you think your going to have problems doing so then it won't work out. Secondly if you can't forgive her then you can't date her you will hold that against her no matter what. I also understand if you can't forgive her, you have my support in any desicion you make. She has to understand that a guy should not be texting her calling her babe wantinh him to call her. I would have done the samething. Your not overracting you are simply reacting to a problem.
Good Luck!
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I answered what seemed to be your girlfriend's question, so now I am going to answer your's.
Please do not take this the wrong way as this is meant to help you.
I think you're overreacting. Your girlfriend did nothing wrong. It seems as though she just made a friend. The only thing I'm wondering is if she told you she made a friend, or if she hid it & you ended up finding out.
If she hasn't done anything, then she isn't cheating on you, and if she doesn't plan on meeting him, then why don't you take her word for it. Accepting a phone call from a friend who's a guy isn't exactly a crime & you shouldn't be so hard on her.
If you love your girlfriend, forgive her. She did nothing wrong & you're blowing this all out of proportion. You have nothing to be mad at her for. She really does love you. If you don't believe me, go see her question on my column.
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What did she do wrong exactly?
A guy, who she knows, texted her asking if he could talk to her at 9:15?
Do you have so little trust for her that you think any conversation she might have (with a near stranger living in LA) is going to somehow lead to cheating or misbehaving just because he calls her babe?
I hope there is more going on then what you just wrote in this question, because if this is your only reason for distrusting her, you over-reacted, big time.
If you can't forgive her for that, Set her free. Unless you have a good deal more evidence of her disloyalty then that, because if you don't, you have a lot of growing up and confidence building to do before you are ready to be in a serious relationship.
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