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My brother is a perv
A couple weeks ago I posted how my brother was spying on my room from his closet and i didn't know what to do. Since I posted this alot has happened. I tried to close the hole with a poster. A few days later, I walked into my room and it was pitch black (the lights were off and the shades were closed) except for a thin beam of light coming from my brother's clost through the well disguised hole my brother put in the poster. That's when I decided to do something. I wrote him a note telling him I know about the hole and he better stop. I wrote that I don't want to discuss it with him ever and that if he doesn't stop, I'll tell our dad. I put up a different poster, and the little perv did it again. He put a hole in it. I was so pissed, I showed my dad. Sure enough my dad, after hearing my brother's "side of it" (he tried to deny knowing anything but the chair and he tissues sorta gave it away) did what I knew he would do. He made my brother strip naked and then beat the crap out of him with his belt. He didn't just hit his bottom. My brother kept moving around and the belt hit him in his belly and even "down there" a few times. My brother shrieked and screamed so much he lost his voice and he's still hoarse. This all happened on a Friday night so by Monday he was able to go to school, but he was in alot of pain. A teacher saw him walking really funny and asked him what happened and my brother told her the whole story. The school called the police and my dad was arrested for child abuse. He's out of the house. My mom and brother blame me for everything. He told my mom about me having guys over, and now my mom thinks I'm a whore. I don't know what's worse, being spied on or this..
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First, you can testify on behalf of your father. Stand up for him, he is a good man whatever his temper led him to do, and being willing to stand up in a courtroom saying "nothing like this has happened before, and I told my dad how much this fucked with me and it really upset him" will be both true and sympathetic to the jury should this go to trial.
This is a difficult issue for a jury, because while your father did go overboard (the fact that he forced your brother to strip naked before punishing him will be used against him) this also is an issue where a father felt like his little girl was violated, and is something the majority of people can empathize with.
Second, you can stand up for yourself. If your brother says anything, respond with anger and disgust and tell him that he got exactly what he deserved for exploiting a woman like that, much less his sister. Do not back down from him one iota, you were not wrong in ANYTHING you did.
Your mother is going to be angry with you, because she cannot blame her husband for his reaction. Deal with that, accept it, but again stand up for yourself and meet anything she says with anger and disgust, and ask her why she is mad at you for being the victim of sexual exploitation with incestuous overtones. Ask her point blank if she thinks its ok for your brother to masturbate to you to the point of voyuerism.
You are not a whore for having normal teenaged sexual desires, nor for acting on them. Your choices are your right to make, and you can and should tell her that the ONLY thing she has a right to be angry with you for is the fact that you violated the rules by bringing guys over. Beyond that, its none of her damn business.
Doing whats right is never easy, and sometimes you have only the knowledge that you are doing whats right to comfort you, but remember this.
YOU ARE RIGHT!
You should never tolerate having your sexuality exploited for someone else's gain. EVER! Your brother disgusted me when I answered your first post and your mother disgusts me now too.
Support your father. Visit him if you can, call him, thank him for being willing to protect you and being willing to take the burden of showing your little shit of a sibling what happens to people who think what he does is OK. Tell him that you support him 100% and tell him you are sorry for whats happened and you will help in any way you can. He is a good man, and a good father, and make sure he knows that you know that, it will help him in the times coming.
My personal opinion is that your brother got whats coming to him for his actions. The fact that your father had to break a law to do it doesn't diminish that fact. There are some things that people deserve to get the shit beaten out of them for, this is one of them. Its sad that this wasn't left alone as a family matter, but in today's "we have to protect our precious snowflakes no matter what sick and twisted decisions they make" environment that just doesn't happen.
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I am sorry about what happened to you and your brother. Both of you deserve better.
I am willing to bet that isn't the first time your dad has gone off on someone in the family. I am sure you have taken your share of the abuse. Your dad needed to be removed from the home. Even though your brother is mad for being busted/beaten and your mom is mad for whatever her reasons are...Your dad received a fair consequence for his actions. Don't stop standing up for yourself.
Remember - it was the abuse by your father on your BROTHER that got your dad removed from the home. You can't own guilt for that. And neither should your brother.
You gave your brother every opportunity to stop his spying. While I don't condone the beating...hopefully this incident will keep him out of jail later in life for perversion! Who knows, the next girl he spies on may have a dad or brother that doesn't just beat him, but beats him to death. Hopefully this will stop that behavior. There are some issues with him you can't own either. But you DO have a right to demand respect and set boundaries.
You can try talking to your mom. Don't be surprised if the talk doesn't turn out the way you want. If your mom is mad, then she is in denial about her part in this. Most likely she is a victim of abuse too, and can't see her alternatives or her own right to live 'not in fear' of your dad.
If you are given the opportunity for counseling - take it. If your home life remains abusive find a healthy way out - other relatives, friends, even a foster family. But don't just run away or try to live on the street. Find HEALTHY alternatives.
I promise, you will be more empowered the older you get and the more independent you become. Make the right choices in your sexual, educational, and work life.
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Oh wow. sounds like a lot to deal with. For your mother to turn against you like this is actually pretty bad. For your brother, its understandable. He needs to know that it is his fault all of this happened because if he didnt act like such a perv this wouldn't have happened. Your dad is pretty harsh with punishment and I think this is something he has to deal with, there's nothing you can do. For now, just make sure you stop sneaking guys into the house and make sure your brother doesn't peak at you again. Next time theres a hole, spray perfume in it lol. okay dont do that but still. try to get him to stop.
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wow thats alot to happen in just a short amount of time.
forst of all you have to realize this ISNT your fault. you did what you thought was best and just cause some lousy crap cam out of it, its still not your fault.
If your dad did that yes he deserves to be put where he is supposed to be. I know you and your brother apparently dont get along but your still his sister and you know he shouldnt have to go through that.
As for youre mom, sit down with her and just tell her the truth, she might deny it for a while but giver her time and the truth will come out.
all i can say is KNOW that this IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
i hope things start to get better soon, and i hope my advice helped.
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Talk to your mom and tell her what happened. Explain to her the situation and maybe things will heal over. If not and you still are experiencing this problem and you wanna take drastic measures, move in to a grandparents house or with a friend.
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