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does he like me, or just WANT me?
18 female.
so i have some trust issues. never had a boyfriend. but i seriously love my best friend nick. we've had SO much chemistry between each other but the thing is he recently broke things off with his girlfriend of two and a half years. he treats me different than he treats other girls. we've only kissed once and it was just a quick little peck. we're really attracted to each other but i'm still skeptical of his "ex" girlfriend because he says their still good friends and still talk since they did go out for so long and they were each others first loves. i just don't know when he tries to get with me, is he doing it because he likes me or because he just wants to be friends with benefits? is there a way to tell? we're both busy people so it's not like i get to see him very much but when i do he always asks whats new with me, he wants to know ANYTHING thats going on with me, and gets upset and says "you never tell me anything anymore!" i just don't know. i'm not a good communicator either, so asking him if he just wants to use me or really likes me would be awkward. we've been good friends for about four years now, maybe even longer.
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I feel like i wrote this question!!!!
(although it doesnt apply to me anymore)
My best friend(known him for 5yrs) had dated the girl on and off for 3 years and he complained everyday. he told me he had wanted to be with me since the day we met but thought i was too good for him. Anyway he finally broke up with her and we sort of dated but he didnt want to make it official because it he didn't want to hurt his ex's feelings. I spent every moment of every day with him, sleeping at his house on weekends. And I waited..and waited and waited for him to officially ask me out. A month went by and he suddenly ended it because "it's weird because we're friends" ....that didn't seem to bother him when he tried to have sex with me.
He told me he loved me and I still think i was just a rebound. Because after we "broke up" he was back with his ex by the end of the week...when he made me wait forever so he didn't hurt her feelings and i was left to think "what about me?!?!".
My Point:
you really need to talk to him because i was hurt the worst by a guy who was my best friend. i know you said you're not a good communicator but you're going to have to get over that unless you want to get hurt. I'm not saying that you're best friend is going to do the same to you. I have to say that the month that i was with mine was the best month of my life and also the worst break up. It's ruined our relationship and we both know it. We'll both say that the other person is our best friend but it is not the same.
In the end you'll do what you want but I just wanted to pass my story along to you.
Tell him that if all he wants is friends with benefits than to at least be upfront with you about it so you won't get your heart broken. Or at least not as badly broken.
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I think I may have missed something. What benefits? You have shared one kiss and it was a peck ... right?
'Friends with benefits' usually means sexual activity on some level - not just genuine interest (how are you, how was your day, what are you up to, wanna hang out)?
I don't see where he is trying to use you. It sounds like you two have been great friends for a while, and you are still great friends. Maybe you even have more time together because he broke up with someone he was in a long term relationship with, and is free to hang out more.
I say just keep doing what you are doing and see where it goes. You DO have to open up and communicate or any potential relationship you have is eventually doomed. Issues come up that KILL a relationship if they aren't worked out.
Also, listen to your inner voice. Something is telling you he isn't 'done' with the break-up and his ex. On some level he is still hanging on there. That mess has to be cleaned up before there is real room for you two as a couple. He is used to 'having someone' to talk to, go out with, to hang around. Be careful that you aren't his 'rebound' girlfriend.
Until you have a sense of security and honesty in his feeling for you, keep things uncomplicated and friendly. You have known him for 4 years as a good friend. I bet you know him well enough to know when it is 'right' to move forward.
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from the information given here, it seems as if he is trying to get with you and not with a friends with benefits manor. If you are truly in love with the boy then you would be able to trust him with all force. i know how things are in these situations. Iv been there, iv done that.. iv been used, and so forth. but from what it sounds like the way he asks you how things are going, he's curious on what's going on, he wants to keep up to date on her. maybe so he can think about things, and if something is ever wrong, he would probably try to fix it. to me he seems to be someone trying to be with you; though his ex girlfriend, been together for 2 1/2 years; well that's nothing, a lot of people can end a long relationship and still be friends, it simply means they just lose interest in each other nothing bad happens or something along those lines... Basically, what im saying is, Go with your heart... because thats always the best way to go. he seems to be a nice guy, maybe give him a chance? if the worse seems to happen you still have the rest f your life to look forward too. We learn from our mistakes, but i don't think this will be a mistake in your case :)
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