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Masturbation
I just masturbated again. I feel so horibble! I just want to die. I feel like God will never forgiive me. Some one just kill me. I feel like a whore. Some one help me please. Oh my dear God please help me. I feel like such a horibble person. HELP ME!!!!! What can I do. I feel horrible. Will someone please tell me how to stop this?
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You need to pray to God for forgiveness and mean what you say to him about discontinuing this bad behavior. God forgives if you're sincere about it.
First off, YOU are ALLOWING yourself to do these things. You CAN make yourself stop doing this if you honestly put forth the effort. Addiction is hard but the first step is admitting that something is wrong with what you are doing. You are there. The next step is start making changes.
You should throw away all of your porn. THROW IT AWAY. Don't second guess or keep one or two things hidden from yourself. Completely get rid of it. The trash is sitting in the other room, most likely, so go shove your porn items in it and take it out to the trash bin and leave it alone from there. (In addition: This applies to going on your computer and completely deleting all pornographic material your have.) Spend your money on more useful things--even if that means giving people in need your own money, which is called charity (and we know God wants us to give more to others).
In regards to television and movies, watch for the rating beforehand. Do not sit down and put yourself in a situation where you will be seeing sexual contact, which may trigger your addiction. Check out the rating system for television broadcasts:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...and for movies:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Alter your lifestyle. If you spent 2 hours online looking at porn or masturbating, block porn websites and images (child-safety block yourself just to help fight off urges) and try to lessen your time online. If you absolutely MUST be online then do not ALLOW yourself to stray from your work. This means if you need to get a paper done then only do the paper (and don't sign online), and if you need to research information for that paper then ONLY research that information and then disconnect.
If you're getting tempted then get up and take a break and do something to help others (or even pick up your Bible). It may also help to get down on your knees and pray to God, asking Him for strength to fight the urge for the moment and to lead you in the right direction.
Spend the time on God and His will that you had spent looking at porn and masturbating. Become an active member in a church you believe is doing right. This may be helpful in finding that church:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location);
Spend your time doing these things listed in the Bible. Spend time at soup kitchens helping the hungry, volunteer at shelters, visit the elderly in homes so they're not as lonely (not everyone has visitors and just about everyone has neat stories to tell), read Bible passages to younger children, donate your time to what needs you, and do whatever you can with that time. There are so many things you SHOULD be doing with your time that you are neglecting because of your addiction.
If you STILL feel you need help because you think temptation is still going to get the best of you (which means you are not putting your time to GOOD use) then maybe you should look into some sort of therapy. There are therapy groups for a lots of varieties of addicts.
Next, you should start right now--not later, not tomorrow, not next week. Get up and make some calls to see see where you would be allowed to volunteer at a couple of nights a week. Find out when visiting hours are at nursing homes and hospitals. Get your information.
Make yourself useful.
Help others the way God wishes we all would.
Picking up the Bible and taking time to read it is also very wonderful so you may want to set aside time each night to read a bit. Any way it is, the time you spend looking at porn or masturbating needs to be redirected to time you spend doing God's will.
This will be a tough path at first but you will definately get the hang of it if you hold your ground. Don't give into temptation and disappoint God when he has big plans for you. He wants to see you in the Kingdom of Heaven.
I hope I've helped you kick your addiction; however, it's mostly up to you and how much effort you are willing to putting into discontinuing your previous activities. If you aren't honestly serious about kicking your habit then you aren't going to succeed so when you start this be serious and strict with yourself.
I wish you well and hope to see you answering questions here down the road, helping other people stop with their own addiction. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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Let me share a perspective for you.
I am Catholic. I was taught from an early age that sex is something that should be linked with shame. Even between married couples it was still there, I got to listen to sermons about how God did not invent kinky sex and how sex's purpose was reproduction only, etc etc.
This always seemed wrong to me, and once I got older I began to study religious history from perspectives that weren't inside that religion, and I studied techniques of cults. I learned that guilt was a common control technique, basically you take something that is a normal human impulse and associate it with evil, then tell people that your religion is the only conduit to forgiveness for this "evil".
Bam. Even people of little faith will do as their told, because they've been taught from birth that if they don't they will suffer eternal pain and suffering. Through guilt, they generate fear.
I'm not saying God doesn't exist. I am a devout Christian, I believe very strongly. But I also believe that people in power fear to lose that power, and Religion is one of the most commonplace ways to gain power over people used throughout history.
You have been taught to feel terrible for something that is not wrong.
Lets look at another belief. Sex before marriage.
Sex before marriage is treated as something dirty and shameful. Its wrong "just because it is" and thats how its taught to children. Virginity is associated with purity and sexuality (as you so eloquently provided an example of) is associated with being a dirty whore.
Why do you think God would not want us having sex before marriage?
Heres my theory. God created humans with the capacity for strong emotion. Emotions so strong that it takes time and experience to master one's self.
Loving relations generate some of the strongest of these emotions. Many people have difficulty with it, and sex complicates everything. Does it not make sense to wait until there is a strong emotional connection, comfort, and commitment before having sex with someone? And thats what marriage was always supposed to represent. Connection, comfort, and commitment.
Also take into account that these things were created before birth control. While the birth rate was less of a concern back then, having children out of wedlock created hosts of problems. The child was considered illegitimate and it would cause problems later with inheritance.
So how would you stop uneducated peasants from indulging sexual urges when they cannot understand concepts like this? You associate sex with guilt and shame. And you can't limit it to just sex, you can't say "its OK to go this far, but not that far" and expect everyone to obey it.
It ended up being applied universally. In modern times, even that didn't suffice. My older cousin (a girl) was taught that her palms would grow hair and her fingernails turn black if she masturbated. Complete lies, created from generations of baseless fear.
Your first step is to tell yourself (because its true) that what you're doing is not evil or wrong. These urges you have are completely natural, in fact consider them a gift. Of all God's creatures we are the ONLY ones who can gain intimacy from sex, and love.
Masturbation is a healthy, normal outlet for sexual desires. You can't get an STD from it, and unless you're masturbating for literally hours every day you can't hurt yourself with it. (Masturbating for hours a day can cause abrasion, basically rubbing skin off because no part of your skin is meant to be rubbed constantly, the same thing would happen if you rubbed your arm the same way for 5 hours straight)
You are not a horrible person. You're a normal horny teenager. The trick is to learn appropriate outlets. I'm sure you have friends who have indiscriminate sex and "hook up" or date guys purely for sex. Its becoming something of an epidemic, because most teens do not get that sex is part of relationships, rather than relationships being a part of sex.
When you're ready, find a guy, learn about him, fall in love with him, and figure out the rest based on what you feel is right for you.
Until then, you're doing the most healthy thing you can be.
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I personally think you should stop get some help ts not right but its not wrong please consider my advice
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God created people KNOWING they would do things like masturbate. its kind of like -- if you dont have sex before marriage, God gives you the option of sexually experimenting with yourself. it's really nothing to be ashamed of. EVERYONE does it because everyone is sexually curious, especially if they are not sexually active. you are just finding yourself and figuring yourself out. dont feel bad at all!!! everyone feels a bit guilty at first, but hey, its YOUR body. as long as you're not doing any harm to yourself, there's nothing wrong with making yourself happy and having some alone time to just figure yourself out. just do what makes you happy, and im SURE God does not think you are a terrible person. bodies were made to recieve pleasure, being sexually active or not. dont worry! God loves you for who you are and wants you to be happy.
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You do not need to feel bad with experimenting with your body. You'll find that 99% of boys and girls experiment with themselves, even adults. It is perfectly normal and healthy.
Put it this way.. at least your not having sex!!!
You sound like your beliefs are important to you, but curiosity gets the best of people sometimes and it's ok!
Your not harming anyone or yourself. Your not a bad person and no one thinks of you as a bad person.
Worrying about it isn't going to make you feel any better, so just continue if it feels good.
Hope I helped. Just remember, your a good person :)
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really chill. i think everybody masturabates. some more than others. its not a terrible thing as long as your not doing it all the damn time
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