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off on my own....
Im 16 and my boyfriend is 18. I had a babyboy 2 months ago and i feel like im ready to live on my own. My boyfriend works and so do i, so we have everything figured out. the on ly problem is, my mom doesnt think i can handle it....is she right??? what do i do
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Honeslty, i think your way to young to live on your own your mom understands and she knows how it is to raise a baby and thats how she raised you so i think you should listen to your mom if she thinks your not ready then maybe you arent for now keep things the way they are until you grow older and accually be able to raise your son and be responsible.
:)
Hope i helped.
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I don't think it sounds like you're prepared to be out in the world on your own. You simply cannot expect things to go perfectly, please keep that in mind. Perfect doesn't exist.
Judging by your previous questions (I am a paid user so I can see your past questions) you are having a difficult time in your relationship. I'm really not sure that putting this strain on your current relationship is going to improve matters in any way. Let's face it, your boyfriend is already not very trustworthy. Something good to ask yourself about this is:
What happens if my boyfriend leaves one evening and doesn't return? How will I pay the rent all by myself? How will I tend to the baby all by myself? How would I still make it to work?
Or what happens if the transportation breaks down and you can't make it to work? What if the work ends up firing you because of this? And what if you have to rely on your boyfriend's income for weeks or months while you try to find another decent-paying job?
To live on your own at this point in your life you need:
1. Stable housing situation that is reasonably affordable.
2. Daily reliable and affordable care for your infant while you and your partner are working.
3. To figure out your finances. How much can you spend on bills? Will you have anything left over to spend on clothing and other goods? Think of these: rent, telephone, internet, electricity, television, water, food, infant formula, daycare prices, gas, vehicle payment(s), food, soaps, heating/cooling, and baby care items (ie: diapers, bottles, clothing as he grows). We're not even touching on the possibilities on pricing for good health-care when needed.
4. A reliable partner that isn't going to cause you any more stress than required, and isn't going to leave your life completely to where you'd have to "fend" for yourself when times get tough (and they always do).
5. Appliances and furnishings. This includes: refrigerator, stove/oven, toaster, microwave, washer, dryer, television, couch, chairs, table, bed (mattress and box springs), pots and pans, dishes, silverware, etc.
Remember that there are things you will have to do on your own that you may have not done before. This includes shopping for food on a budget. Date-nights will become non-existent and you will probably be left with no money while you're trying to get on your feet. This really may not be the best time to venture out, especially since you are a new mother.
I suggest you give it some time and hang out where you have been. Save your money for the time being so that you can be more stable when you do find a decent place. You're a new mother and really will appreciate tips your mother can pass along to you in raising a healthy, happy baby.
Take your time to enjoy what youth you have right now. You're 16 and should be going out on the weekends, having dates, and spending time with friends. You've already lost some of that recently with your new baby, but at this point you can still find a babysitter and go out on a date with your boyfriend without worrying about the money loss.
Work on saving money, repairing your relationship with your boyfriend, and learning to be a good mother. Moving out on your own is only going to cause stress and make things worse at this point.
Please think things through.
It may sound like a super neat idea to move out right now, but you'll wish you weren't as strained on time and money when that happens.
I hope you reconsider your recent decision. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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A baby is a huge responsibility, Moving out is also a big step also. Once you move out you have bills to pay. Gas, Eletric, Food, Cable, Heat etc. I think Mom might be right, Maybe you should wait and rethink about moving out. If you have the money saved up and a good paying job and you work a good chunk of hours and I'm talking about 35+ hours a week then maybe you really are ready to move out. However, Moving out is not something you can just put yourself into and then a week later say "I wanna move back home" You sign a lease and you are stuck paying rent for as long as the rent is good for.
Rethink it.
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Your mom only wants the best for you. Having a baby is a huge responsibility at any age. But you are still a teenager, and not even fully mature mentally or physically. Even if you are mature for your age, there is only so much a teenager can handle. You are probably starting to figure yourself out, and to add a baby on top of that- it is not a good idea.
You should speak to your mom about this and come to some sort of agreement regarding taking care of the baby. I am sure that she is more than willing to help. The best thing for you to do is to continue living at home with your mom, finish up school, and let her help you with your responsibilities. You will not have to worry about paying rent or making ends meet- right now, your baby should be your only responsibility. For your child's well-being, you should listen to everything your mom says. She has experience and is only looking out for the best. Even though you want to be on your own, it really isn't the time.
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I think for the sake of the baby and for the sake of you, I wouldn't live on your own until you are both ready to completely support yourselves and the child. You don't want to have the baby growing up in a household that isn't completely structured yet, if you know what I mean.
If you two are going to be together for the rest of forever anyway- I don't see the reason you have to rush to be off on your own.
--Jack
(16/m)
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