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help drinking...
Okay i am going into high school next year and my friends are starting to drink and smoke. i cont want to but i know i will not be invited anywhere if i don't. i know this seems like simple, say no, but the only way to keep my friends is to drink or lose them. i know it seems like these friends suck, and they do but i cant change groups. like idk, but idk i don't want to. i just don't want to sink to that level. if you are a teen, you know what this is. you cant just be like "no I'm not drinking" I'm only 13. I'm turning 14 soon but...what do i do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I have a few friends that are "straight-edge" meaning they don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or have sex without being in a relationship. This has become a pretty popular trend, especially in concert "scenes". I'm sure there are blogs or sites out there that give some pretty awesome reasons and explanations as to why you don't want to join your friends, but unfortunately the peer pressure you're talking about is real. Even if you go to parties, you could easily be labeled "buzz-kill" or "the sober one".
Because people will treat you differently if you don't have a drink in your hand, my solution is:
Put a drink in your hand!
Pour a soda or some juice into a cup and sip on that. When it comes to mixed drinks (cranberry/vodka, coke/rum) it would be impossible for anyone to figure out it's not spiked unless they try some. Most people are so caught up in their dramas and drinks that they wont even notice! There is nothing wrong with not wanting to drink, so try that in the meantime but start looking for some straight-edge friends-- High School is the PERFECT time to find a new social group. :)
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If YOU do not want to smoke/drink/etc., then DON'T. These people ARE NOT your friends if they won't be your friend unless you adhere to their standards. Friends accept their friends for who they are- and they certainly DON'T get mad when they won't be their drinking buddies. That's WRONG.
Tell them no, and if they won't be your friend, GOOD, because these are not people you should be friends with.
Although you said you won't be able to make any new friends, I'm CERTAIN that you're wrong ;].
Join a club or sports team. You'll meet new people and they can become some of your greatest friends. Trust me. I joined drama, and I've got some of the best friends you can imagine ;].
--Jack
(16/m)
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I would tell them if you were really my friend you would make me drink and smoke to be friends with and then if they still tried to make you drink and smoke tell them iam sorry but i can't be friends with you anymore.This comes from a smoker smoking may seem cool but it's really not .
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If you don't want to do it, then don't! I'm 16 and I still don't drink, does that make me a loser? You CAN say, "No, I'm not drinking." It's no big deal. Stick to your morals, don't give in to peer pressure.
-Laura. (16-f)
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I drank when I was 13, but only at concerts :P
It's easy to say no. Just say ''I'm not into drinking''.
But if your friends are the type that will ditch you cause you don't drink, then drink one or two drinks, and take a long time to drink them, they honestly won't notice. If they're not looking, you can pour it somewhere if you really don't want to drink it.
As for smoking, that's something you really shouldn't do just cause they are. You can get really addicted, and your parents will probably find out, unless they're smokers...it might take them longer, but they would find out too.
You can fake smoke (i.e not inhaling) but just tell them that you have a history of cancer in your family. People generally don't fuck around with that.
Be careful, and try to find other friends that don't make you do things you're not interested in.
I mean, I go drinking with groups of friends (I'm almost 16) but there's some of my friends that don't drink, and it's fine. They'll drink coke or whatever, and no one has a problem with it.
We've all learned to drink at a responsible level. :)
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i have that problem too. i just tell them i think im going to watch out and make sure that nothing happens. but that doesnt mean that you cant drink. i would if i were you. im 13 too. and i just watch out for them to make sure nothing happens. so just say that.
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I know you might be feeling a lot of pressure from your friends right now to drink and smoke, but trust me, high school years are so much better if they're, well, memorable. When you look back, chances are you dont want to remember being so wasted. If your friends won't stay your friends if you don't drink with them, then what kind of friends are they, really? When you get into high school there will definately be people who don't do all that - people worth spending time with. If you can't get your current friends to stop bugging you about drinking or smoking, maybe its time to move on and 'live above the influence'
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