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I think i love him...and im scared to death!
ok i have a boyfriend and i think me and him are getting pretty serious. and im pretty sure i love him. And that makes me really scared and it makes me want to cry. lol im a nerd, i know. But its really scary. Im kinda scared of commintment(sp?)
iv never really stayed with one guy for long. And i really love him and i want to stay with him. My heart says stay. But my mind says go...Even though hes all i think about anymore. Iv never been in love. SO i guess what im asking is,
how can i be less scared of being in love?
How do i really know im in love?
How can i make my heart and mind agree with eachother. (lol)
Because i really dont want to hurt him again....
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You have answered one of your questions already, if he is the only one you can think about, you love him. But that is not where it ends. Love is easy, almost as easy as lust, it's liking him to a point of no return that seals it. My wife's way of looking at love is, "If this guy were to have something happen, (an accident for instance), and he was left totally dependent on you for everything, (he could do nothing for you), would you stay with him? In other words, would your love truly conquer all?
Much of what you say, says to me that you are not ready for a serious relationship, that is where your fear comes in. Having this deep of a relationship is scary. You put yourself out there in a way that is dangerous. You open yourself up to all kinds of pain and sorrow, because the better a person knows you, the better they can hurt you. Doing this takes a lot of trust and trust is not something you mention in your letter. Your mind is not with you, because trust has not been achieved, I would guess. So, what your heart feels must be put on hold and your brain must be appeased.
Lastly, I don't normally suggest you do this, but I think you may have to talk with this guy, but you would be the best judge of that. Help him to understand where you are mentally and let him know your fear. You know, odds are, he has the same feelings. If he is any kind of a man, he will help you explore these things and perhaps the two of you will learn somethings about each other.
My best thoughts go with you on your journey.
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I say do nothing because what you are feeling is what all of us older cats fall in love for:-). I can't remember the last time I felt like that because now I mostly think with my head and not my heart. I am still a hopeless romantic though and I think it is natural to feel a little scared when you love someone because unlike just being IN love, there is more at stake. Your heart your pride and your self esteem. By now though, it is too late to turn back because your heart is as good as gone:-D. Just go with the flow and it will settle down soon enough and you will enjoy the feeling. But maybe even later down the road you will feel scared from time to time as your love grows. Real love is deeper than infatuation and hopefully it will bring positive experiences to your life...I thin k you will not hurt him if you accept what you are feeling and don't run from your feelings. Try being the best of friends first even if you tell him something different. Sometimes its the pressure of commitment that makes us uncomfortable. Does that help?
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