about

Hi all,
I came to this site by chance and now that I have arrived I hope I can be of some help. I'm known to be blunt but my bark is worse than my bite:-). I believe people deserve honesty and not to just be told what they want to hear all the time so that is my approach. I have had a lot of ups and downs through life and I have turned a lot of negatives into positives. I have also learned a lot about the nature of people through my trials and hopefully I may be able to help someone help themselves to continue living a happy and prosperous life. Thanks for the opportunity!

advice

ok i have a boyfriend and i think me and him are getting pretty serious. and im pretty sure i love him. And that makes me really scared and it makes me want to cry. lol im a nerd, i know. But its really scary. Im kinda scared of commintment(sp?)
iv never really stayed with one guy for long. And i really love him and i want to stay with him. My heart says stay. But my mind says go...Even though hes all i think about anymore. Iv never been in love. SO i guess what im asking is,
how can i be less scared of being in love?
How do i really know im in love?
How can i make my heart and mind agree with eachother. (lol)
Because i really dont want to hurt him again....

I say do nothing because what you are feeling is what all of us older cats fall in love for:-). I can't remember the last time I felt like that because now I mostly think with my head and not my heart. I am still a hopeless romantic though and I think it is natural to feel a little scared when you love someone because unlike just being IN love, there is more at stake. Your heart your pride and your self esteem. By now though, it is too late to turn back because your heart is as good as gone:-D. Just go with the flow and it will settle down soon enough and you will enjoy the feeling. But maybe even later down the road you will feel scared from time to time as your love grows. Real love is deeper than infatuation and hopefully it will bring positive experiences to your life...I thin k you will not hurt him if you accept what you are feeling and don't run from your feelings. Try being the best of friends first even if you tell him something different. Sometimes its the pressure of commitment that makes us uncomfortable. Does that help?

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Since it's summer and losing weight is pretty high on my priority list before I start college, I'm going to start running more often. Problem is, I never have any motivation. Sure, when I went out and bought new tennis shoes to run it, that was motivating. But most of the time, songs get me pumped up too. So, I need some help here! Anything that really gets you in a kick-a mood, like Fort Minor's "Remember the Name", Sean Paul's "We Be Burnin'", and Jay-Z's "99 Problems". It can be mostly anything except like, metal or trashy rap songs that talk about nasty stuff :P

Please and thanks!

I like songs from the 80's like Gloria Estefan but Chris Brown's latest cd kept me dancing all night. Destiny's Child also has some good get up and go tunes and so does Gwen Stefanie. Ther are so many just check AOLMusic, or You Tube and you can't go wrong! I like all music so my selections may be kinda eccentric!

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Has anybody ever been dropped by your friends? Like, they just completely ignore you or stop contacting you, etc? Because my friends did that to me several months ago. And when I say several, I mean several. I've gone now a very very long time without the support of my friends. I was just wondering if a similar situation has happened to any of you, and if it has...what did you do? How did you cope? And anybody who really has been through this knows that it's not as simple as just finding new friends. It just really really isn't. Because there are a few people within this group that I'm still a little close to, but there are others which just hate me completely for some reason that I don't understand. And I still want to have some friends, so I can't just drop my few friends I have just so because they're associated with the friends that ditched me. That doesn't work I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time dealing with this...and I just wanted to know if I'm alone in having this situation happen.

I think people just change and sometimes you are part of a click and don't even know it. A click is where people hang out with each other for superficial reasons, like because of social status or because you all like the same things. Sometimes one of your so called friends will say something about you and people just stop talking to you without letting you know. I say it is their loss. When you see them confront it, and ask why. If they still don't want to be there for you it is still their loss and your gain because you are not compromising your self respect . I know making friends is hard but use this experience to find out what you don't want out of a friend and you'll find yourself with a new set in no time! Think about it!:-)

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Hi, I can't wait to go to school. I'm going on 19 and unfortunatley havnt gone yet. I want to save some money before attending and plan to go within the year. My question is what is the most I can do with and ECE degree/diploma. I have always been interested in owning my own daycare centre. What other courses do I need to make that possible. If anyone has gotten an ECE degree recently, what were your struggles? What were your most valuable moments during school and after? And what route did you take to get your degree. Anyones opinions and experiences would be great, working and teaching children is a passion of mine and I would love to hear what you have to say. Thank You in advance!

Congratulations on your decision to make a difference today in the lives of youths. Back in the day I started out looking for a degree in ECE but I have since just about completed a BS in Business Management so that I can open a youth center with consulting and comprehensive resources. When I started in the late 1990's you had to have specific degrees to run a daycare but now people who have Bachelor degrees are able to do it as well as long as they take the required course in Sociology and Psychology. I say look on line to find out what the requirements are today and broaden your interests to a secondary major while you are in school. You may decide to pursue more than one goal. As for the struggle, teachers and day care providers are needed more than ever before..quality ones at least and there are a lot of grants that just might pay your whole way and save you costs. Grants, not loans. Check out web sites like nea.org and fafsa to research a plan that will best suit you and find out what is going on today with schooling and education. There is no better time than the present!

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lately, for some reason I'm beginning to feel very left out with friends at my school do you know why this could be happening?

Perhaps you are changing and growing in a different direction than your friends. Or maybe they are. This can happen as we grow through life all the way up into adulthood. Search yourself for some inner issues that could be affecting the situation. Assess if it is something you could change or not. If it is not then just give it some time and things will probably settle down soon. This could also be a good time to make new friends... whatever the case; it will all work out just fine in the long run, just stay positive and you'll see!

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So me and my boyfriend's 1 year anniversary is coming up. We're both 14. But in a very mature relationship. We mess around and stuff; but out of love. We want to get married and all that good stuff. This isn't a stupid immature young teenage relationship, trust me.

So, I wrote a 365 reasons why I love you, memories, etc thing. I was thinking of making it into a scroll but that wouldn't be very cute. So I thought of like a binder/scrapbook type thing. But I'm trying to think of anything else I could do with it. Any ideas?

And besides cooking, buying him clothes, etc. What else could I do for him? Make it age appropriate. He wants a handjob and we are going to mess around more. So I've got that covered. But any other ideas about what I could get him or do for him. I kind of want to surprise him because I know he has a ton of surprises for me.

Thanks in advance!

I am talking about just being yourself and allowing things to progress naturally, I wasn't sure of your views because your question sounded like you were trying too hard to enjoy all of the physical aspects of being grown when you were probably referring to your emotions as not being puppy love. Is that right? When I said play, but play responsibly I meant trying to abstain from behaviors that can lead to sex. Oral sex and hand jobs are in the same category to me because arousal is involved and pretty soon you just want more. In my view, the thought of something is better than the act because the excitement lasts longer so you don't even have to go that far, but I am not trying to tell you what to do. You are on the right track and I am sorry if I misread your original comment.Thanks for the response! Also, how about a giving him a gold/silver necklace or bracelet with a symbol on it that is special to you or symbolic for you both or a watch to symbolize all of the times you had together? Too corny?:-)

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THis may be complicated.

I live 28 hours away from the person I love. Here is where it is complicated. I've met him once, he has been my pen-pal for almost 2 years now. I "met" him through my friend which is also his friend as well. (they've actually met) I went down this summer and I met him and things went more then great. I would move for him in a heartbeat & i am sure he would too but he cant (literally). Any advice as what to do? I cant stop thinking about him, i know my world would seriously flip upside down if I did not have him. Call me crazy, but i love him. I am not young & stupid. I am 19 and this is not just a toy thing because if this was just a lil dinky stage i was going through i wouldnt waste it on a guy 28 hours away.

SHould I move?
What should I do?

Two years is a long time to have been a pen pal with someone. I do believe you lovehim and long distance relationships can work but by now something should be working out in your favor if it is going to work. I think you should do more investigating and weigh all the costs before pursuing any drastic action. If you have no ties at home and you want to move make sure you have a job and a place to stay that will be fulfilling to you as well so that you can continue to grow even within the relationship. Please do not just focus on your emotions because love works both ways. You should love yourself just as much and make decisions that will benefit you too. The best love is the kind that helps you and others to grow, not to just rely on your feelings alone. Use your head and your heart to be smart.

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me and my boyfriend have been dating 6 and a half months and i want to do something romantic for him for no reason . any ideas?

Well it depends on your level of commitment but if you are both legal how about going to a spa together and getting massages and the whole nine. On a lesser scale take him to his favorite restaraunt or order his favorite meal and have the staff at the restaraunt give him A-1 service so he knows you are his #1 fan. There are so many things you can do today to show someone you care even if it means sending them a heart o gram. Does this help? I'm afraid I need more info to be specific.

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ok so I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago and I told him I just wanted to be friends. now I am going out with someone new, but anyways he is always saying how he misses me and wants me back and how he loves me. I think love is a very strong word.We were dating for like 3 weeks and he told me he loved me the 2 week. That kinda freaked me out. And he always wanted me to send naked pics and have sex with him. I never did and that is 1 reason why I broke up with him. He says since we are not together he wants to kill himself. What can I say to cheer him up and help him?

I think less is best for this guy unless you plan on still dealing with him. Since you have moved on I think you should not look back because this guy is scary and I don't know if cheering him up is what he needs. He seems to be aggressive and he may be increasingly led on if you keep communicating with him. Say what you mean but first mean what you say and don't look back!:-)

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i have acne on my face. only on my forehead and chin. but its really bad in those areas. i try to refrain from using proactiv and stuff like that cuz ive been told it makes your skin very irritated and flaky. i use an acne wash and acne cream whenever i have the energy to do so. only at night. during the day i totally forget.

but i cant afford any of that name brand stuff on TV but i need something over the counter that works reaally really well. that wont make my skin flaky, will clear it up, keep it clear, and nurish it. :( help?

My daughter's had this same problem and the lemon juice does work although I have found that Oxy10 works faster and so does the cream medication from Clean & Clear which costs about $5.00. Also watch t he foods you eat to cut back on oil that builds up in the pores.

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hi me and my boyfriend have been dating for 6 and a half months im 19 and so is he when we first starting dating it was great he called me every night he texted me all the time and we always had fun together now he rarely calls or texts if he does call its around midnight and if i call him he is always with his friends and either says i cant talk right now or he talks to them the whole time while i am on the phone listeneing and sometimes he calls me when he is with the friends and i just have to listen to him talk to them and now we are always fighting he never invites me to do anything with him and his friends anymore either he awways teels me wat hes doing as hes doing it doesnt even invite me and his friends are over every night and he says he didnt invite them that they have a key and he doesnt even wanna b there with them we never really go out anymore we just sit at home and watch tv he says he is always romantic but i cant even remember the last time he was, we only see each other like 1 a week, we both really love each other wat should i do to help our relationship

You know I would really like to say something positive about this situation but the only thing I can say is that it is not too late to get out of it. Six and a half months is almost too long to be in an uncommitted relationship and clearly that is what it is. Yu are committed but he is not. I have been here done this so many times. I used to try everything like ultimatums and asking them what I did wrong. Guys like to make excuses and if sex is involved they will hold on to you just for the sake of having someone to get it from. This is hard to hear but don't let anyone tell you that a call in the middle of the night is not a booty call because it is. When a gentleman really wants to pursue you they make time and they don't let friends get in the way. If you are not having sex then it is clear that he wants to because he is still allowing you to call him and he is still communicating with you but realize that those conversations are not quality ones.You might as well be talikng to the television. But don't take my word for it... try this. Next time he calls at midnight just ask him straight out if he wants to have sex and see what he says. If he says yes put him on front street about it and if he says no then ask him why he is calling you at booty call hours. Is there someone else so he has to sneak and call? Whatever the case something is wrong and you need to be happy just as much as anybody. You're so young that you can still have fun and there are plenty of guys out there...don't sell yourself short but give him something to think about.Life is too short--Have fun!

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so ive asked questions on here before about my stepmom and family sit or whatever but here I am again. so..
Im supposed to be going to my dads in Nevada in like 2 weeks. im way excited because i love my Dad and miss him like crazy. I also love my stepmum but havent been real close with her and want to be. any ideas of some fun stuff her and I can do together? My mom is still being nasty about mhy dad as usual but after tlking with a skool councelor and stuff i know she acts this way because she is kind of jealous that my dad has remarried and is happy and she hasnt done that yet so i just ignore her. any ideas for stuff to do in that area? thnks!

I think TMZ was on the right track about finding places of interest for your step mom and you to enjoy. Another possibility is that she may be interested in what you like to do as well in order to continue forming a bond with you. In that case I would pick equal amounts of activities that fulfill both goals so that you will both enjoy your time together. I have lived inmy town all of my life but I still have to get on the internet to find out places of interest sometimes so try on line! You may be surprised with what you come up with, and as for your mom, put her on a need to know basis. I have children and I am divorced and at first it used to hurt to think of them[kids] being close to someone that I am no longer with and that they are happy ex and new spouse] while I was miserable but I soon got over that. The less I know the better and I realize the kids have a right to have meaningful relationships with their dad and his new spouse so be happy and have fun. I hope this was of some use to you...

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my boyfriend and i have been dating for 5 months. he is 18 and just graduated high school in may. in all the time we've been dating, or since i've known him which was in august, he hasn't had a job. he had a car until he got his license suspended in november for a speeding ticket. this means that all this time we've been dating, I'VE been either going to his house to see him or been lugging him around everywhere we go and I'VE been paying for us to go out. and quite honestly, i hate it. he was supposed to get his license back in april but couldn't because it costs over $200 and he doesn't have the money. his parents are helping him and he's mad at THEM for the fact that he cant get it back. he has done some yard work and stuff for neighbors to get money occasionally but it's just not a stable job you know? he's not aspiring to go to college so whatever he does is just going to be a job, not a big career. he's takin me out and payed for me a few times, but it's majority me 95% of the time. we dont even go out every night or anything. his mom is apparently on his case to get a job, which he hates. he's always complaining of sittin around bored when im not there and ill ask him 'do you have a job yet?' or 'why not go look for a job?' and he gets ill. i understand that he doesnt want me nagging him about getting a job or getting his license back like his parents do, but on the other i dont just wanna lay back and let him think im some bank. i've had a job for a year and a half and i work for my money and i pay for the gas in my car that's used when we go out. i dont wanna push him about it because that's what caused my best friend and her boyfriend of almost a year to break up, because they were in the same exact position and she was sick of riding him around and paying for him, and he was sick of her nagging so he dumped her. i dont wanna be like that, but he's 18 for god's sake. he has to do SOMETHING with his life besides rely on other people or else it's not gonna be me that he relies on. everytime i ask him about finding a job, he's always like "im workin on it" or some smart remark, but i've never once seen him turn in any application anywhere, or heard him say he's been out looking for a job. i just want him to be responsible, and be able to get his license back and be able to have a [i hate to say this but..] "normal" relationship. that doesnt mean i want him to shower me with gifts and jewelry and go to a fancy dinner everynight, but being able to go out to eat or to the movies would be great sometimes without me having to pay. he has zero dollars saved up to get his license back, and not one speck of a job in sight and he could honestly careless. i know it bothers him that he doesn't have his car but i want him to DO something about it. i hate it, my mom hates it that im in this situation AGAIN because it was the same exact thing with my ex, and just UGH! how can i talk to him and try to encourage him to get a job without sounding like a mother? i've even tried by telling him places that are looking for help and would be easy, even part-time jobs, but no. what can i dooo? i hate doing this!

It's obvious that your boyfriend needs a job [and maybe some counseling] but what about you. The hidden problem in all of this is that you have a tendency to need to take care of someone and the fact is you need and deserve so much more. When I first started reading your question I thought of myself because I have been through this so many times. Two important things my mother always taught me was that most of the time she was right[she was] and that you can't fix anyone. A person has to see that they have a problem and then show a desire to change. That desire comes from action, not just saying the words. If something happens to you and you are not able to take care of yourself, he will be no good to you because he is someone who likes to be taken care of. My advice to you [and that is all it is], is to leave this one alone for a while if not indefinitely. It doesn't mean that you have to find someone else but it does mean that you need to get in touch with what validates you more than other people. Ask yourself why you need to take care of others, especially when you are not married to them or getting paid for it. Realize the truth that he doesn't want to work and stop making excuses for him. He may be a really great guy but right now you are enabling his behavior and setting yourself up for heartbreak down the road.Sometimes we can get caught up in our emotions and feelings of obligation to the point of suffocation so take a break...it might do you both some good.

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