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friend's obesity and my worry
My friend (15/F) is definitely over weight. I know that nobody's perfect, and stuff. But she's at the point where it's a potential health risk! It could possibly be my fault for not helping her earlier, but I can't exactly change that now.
Her parents don't exactly help, though. Her dad makes unhealthy, meaty, casseroles almost every night. So, she isn't used to eating healthy foods. And I guess she's too oblivious to notice what she's eating.
Her parents also pressure her a lot. For example, there isn't a waking moment when her dad isn't nagging about some sort of walking. To be blunt, both of her parents are always reminding her of her obesity.
She has a short attention span, and gets annoyed by anything repetitive in the least bit. So, repeating exercises makes her walk away.
She recently bought a Jane Fonda exercise tape, which she used when she was younger to lose weight (which worked). She is convinced that only that exercise tape will work. After a month, she still hasn't received the tape (yes, I'm sure that she did order it).
My question is: how do I help her lose weight without being too pushy? Or should I just wait for the tape? But what if it takes months before she gets the tape?
Also: she will do almost anything I say, as long as it's not too harsh. So, obedience isn't an issue. She's just really impatient and ADD.
SORRY for the massive question! I tried to make it easier to read! Thank you for any answers!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You may want to suggest Curves to her. SUGGESTING something while knowing she's trying to get fit is not an issue as long as you do not pressure her to do it when she clearly indicates she isn't interested.
Curves is pretty neat.
I am 21 and currently weigh 266lbs. I stand 5'11" so I'm pretty overweight.
Anyway, I've struggled with weight-loss my entire life. It really is hard to do, I know. The highest I've weighed was probably around 315lbs or so, maybe even more because there was a long period in which I refused to weigh myself.
Diets don't work. They just don't. If you are constantly denying yourself of everything you absolutely love to eat then you're constantly being tempted. She has to alter what you eat into something healthier, smaller proportions, or learn to find what is similar and satisfies her wants but is healthier. This takes devotion on counting calories and journaling her food intake so she knows what exactly she's putting into her body. She HAS to change her entire lifestyle if she wants to be healthier.
So, don't diet--change the entire lifestyle.
Next, she needs to get moving! Many people have excess weight because they do not exercise as much as they need to. I just recently began incorporating exercise into my lifestyle and I'll tell you it really makes me feel good after a good workout.
My suggestion is to find out if you have a Curves (for Women) in your area to suggest she check out:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Curves is for women only and is directed mainly to the older and/or overweight. We're not older but we (your friend and I) are both quite overweight. Actually, according to the chart at Curves, I am considered obese and that's no good.
In addition to the work-out, Curves also has healthy-eating lifestyle changes. The book you get when signing up has the whole method, week by week, on how to change your entire way of eating. It has recipes and teaches you how to eat what you want without gaining the weight you don't want. I haven't done the dieting (this is my second week at Curves and they recommend you wait at least one month to decide if you need to change your eating habits or not).
Curves is pretty nice. Yes, they weighed and measured me the first time I went but it really wasn't as embarrassing as it sounded. Let your friend know this:
"What you see in the mirror? Everyone else sees that. Everyone knows you're overweight, it's no secret."
The thin trainer didn't remark negatively about me after measuring/weighing. When I asked if my weight-loss goal was doable she said, "DEFINITELY! You can SO do this! This is not impossible." It's so positive and friendly there it really makes me feel comfortable.
This is how it works:
There are a set-up of a certain number of machines. Some curves have one or two more than others, depending on how long they have been opened. Anyway, you spend about 30 SECONDS on each machine. It really isn't hard to do--this coming from a girl that has never exercised in her entire life!
You spend 30 seconds on a machine and then you walk on this nifty little pad for 30 seconds to "rest" basically. The trainer teaches you how to do each machine properly and how to check your pulse rate, which you will check every 8 to 10 minutes. The trainer will always be there for you too so you don't have to worry about forgetting how to work a machine properly.
If you feel like you're too worked up or your pulse is racing then you take a 10 to 15 second break before continuing to let yourself calm down. There are a nice, upbeat music playing at all times and an overhead voice lets you know when it's time to move to the next machine or pad.
The total work-out lasts 30 MINUTES. Yes, that's all...half an hour for each workout session! In addition to that, there is no set times to have to show up. When your local Curves opens, you can show up whenever--even if it's 9:22am. You just show up and go right to working out so you never have to make a special time to show up or anything.
So, that's three times a week for half an hour each time. One hour and thirty minutes a week for good health, improved mentality, and a better body.
Pricing? Well, I think that varies from which Curves you join but mine was not very expensive for a fitness place. My sweetheart of a boyfriend paid $74 for me to sign-up (first 30 days free) and $34 a month after then.
She also can join Curves forums to help out on progress and see how she's are doing compared to other Curvers. There is:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
and
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I really, really like Curves and totally recommend it to your friend. If your friend simply cannot do it, she needs to find some way of exercising regularly. That's the only way she's really going to lose weight, keep it off, and remain healthy--learning to eat right without denying herself and exercising regularly.
As a note, Curves has given me MORE energy. Right after a work out I feel like I'm on top of the world and it doesn't drag me out either. I don't end up going to be crazy early that night or anything but I have noticed how much better I feel after going.
I hope you do well on figuring out how to help your friend lose weight and keep it off! Please feel free to ask me any questions on this subject :) I would happy to help you out if I can!
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Well it seems like she really looks up to you for guidance, so don't be too pushy in the situation. You should join her in losing weight. Like, if you maybe exercized with her, it could make her feel a lot better. Ask her to go for a jog with you one morning. Encourage her to eat healthier. Say things like "I've been trying healthier foods and their actually not that bad." Make her feel interested in trying new things that could be healthy for her. You sound like an amazing friend & I'm sure she is very lucky to have you!
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Well, let's see.. FIRST you're right there is no need to be pushy, bossy or controlling just because you have a great influence on her. Since you hang with her, why not suggest eating salads on the nights you're over there, instead of what her dad fixed.
There's dance videos that help with excercising - My favorite one is hip hop abs - it's all that, these videos are actually teaching how to dance at the same time, it's not the same ole' school excercises.
You can also make suggestions, like hey, let's go walking at the park today or tomorrow and see what's going on there. I know our parks here are all that and I go all the time and walk. Basically, be supportive of her and there for her too, doing these activities with her. I am sure she will appreciate the time being spent and not take it the hard way. You can even tell her that you are trying to tone up yourself and ask if she will do it with you. keyword is togetherness -
good luck and you're a good friend to be concerned and supportive regarding your friend!
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ir's so awesome that you want to help your friend and you can do that without being harsh. first of all...i'm sure a tape COULD POSSIBLY help, but in my experience if your in your room with a t.v. and an excersise tape is sitting next to you, it's a lot easier to turn to mtv and forget about excersise especailly if you're not really into it. maybe the way you could really help her is through a "buddy" thing. we could all stand to be a little healthier right? tell her you want to start eatin healthier and you guys could do it together! you could choose better options for food at school or both bring a helthy lunch. this should help even if she continues eating the not-so-great dinners (though i would mention moderation with those). you could also work out together. there are excersises that you guys could do that are not repetitive. you could play sports like basketball, soccer, not formal stuff but it will help. you can also take excersise classes. stuff like dance class or martial arts can b so much fun and good for you. maybe it'll be something you two enjoy and continue with. if she is in SERIOUS danger health-wise or the parental comments get to her, she should talk to a professional. but it sounds like just your friendship can help if you stick together. :) sorry for the massive answer! good luck.
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