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Pressured
Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year now. I'm 14, and he's turning 15. We haven't had sex, but we have talked about it. The problem is, there are other couples in my school having sex that haven't even been together that long. Basically, I'm pressured all the time to have sex with him. I feel like we have waited way too long and if everyone else is, then why aren't we? I know I should wait until I'm ready..but it's been over a year and I feel like we have to. What should I do.
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I'll put it like this. I'm 15. My boyfriend is 17. We've been together for two years. I've been having sex since I was 13. If I could, I would have waited much longer before I lost my virginity. If I were you, I would wait a little longer until you know if he's the right one. Because I lost mine to a boy older than me that I thought I was in love with. Well I was only with him for 5 months. I really wish my current boyfriend would of been my first, but unfortunately I felt pressured. Trust me, your not missing much. If you waited this long with him and he's still with you, then there's no reason not to wait longer. Personally, I think that will make your relationship stronger. Hope I helped. =]
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you certainly do not HAVE to do anything if you arnt ready just beacause you have waited a year doesnt mean its long enough obviously your boyfriend stayed with you this long because you dont have to give him sex and you should be proud of that! i would other people need to have sex to keep their boyfriend or girlfriend and thats pretty sad i say
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Hey, if he pressures you then hes not a good boyfriend...no offense to him but hes not right for you if your not ready then he shouldnt be...i made a committment a couple of years ago to me and God that i wouldnt have sex till i was married and if a guy doesnt respect that i did that then hes not worth it...and doing "IT" just cause everyone elts is isnt a good enough reason to have sex. I have alot of ppl to say wow that must be hard to keep that kind of committment but its not...I am 15 and im still pure and hopefully you will make the right choice of not having sex before Marraige.
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You KNOW the answer to this question. Don't do it.
If you're not comfortable, do not do it. If you have any doubts, do not do it. If you're not ready, don't do it. You know you shouldn't do it.
"The problem is, there are other couples in my school having sex that haven't even been together that long."
- WHO CARES? Just because other girls are easy doesn't mean you have to be. You have morals, don't break them.
"I feel like we have waited way too long and if everyone else is, then why aren't we?"
- Because you're NOT everyone ELSE. You are who you are, and if you don't want to have sex, then don't.
"I know I should wait until I'm ready.."
- Then wait until you're ready. What's the rush?
The way I see it, is you're 14, which is WAY too young to be having sex anyways, and you have your entire life ahead of you. What would you do if you got pregnant? Or got an STD?
I'm sorry if any of this came off as rude [I don't mean for it to!], I just think it is sick [absolutely NO offense to you, though, because you aren't doing it and hopefully won't be for a while] that people this young are sexually active! What happened to purity until marriage? =/
-Laura. (16-f)
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I totally understand how you feel about being pressured to have sex. The thing you should know is that you are not alone and there are many people your age, older, and younger that are waiting until the right time to engage in sexual activities.
Virginity really should be cherished. I know a lot of young people now have given into the pressure of the media only to find depression later in life. A lot of times when a person loses their virginity and goes through problems in their relationship they feel guilty, depressed, angry, and a lot more strong emotions for giving up their virginity.
I'm not saying that your relationship is not strong, but if something happens down the road and you are left without a partner you may experience major depression. It also makes it a lot harder to "get over" an ex because of the bond that has been formed.
Sex also can totally change a relationship. Some people find out that the only thing their partner is interested in is sex. The feeling becomes addicting to some and they began to disregard the feelings of their partner. Many people began to lost interest in their partners as well when they realize that sex isn't as great as others have made it out to be. In addition, many people show their true colors after engaging in sexual activities, leaving the other partner confused and in a tough situation ("Wow, he is so not what I thought he was! Should I stay with him? He doesn't make me happy any more though...")
You need to be as educated as possible before engaging in sex and this is where a lot of people are lacking. This means knowing all of your facts--good and bad. Many people like to pretend that they are not at risks for STDs and then when they are diagnosed they are confused, lost, and completely uninformed. If they had been responsible and researched beforehand they would have been able to cope a lot better.
To help you out some, here are a few links you should definately check out while giving this thought:
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research so you're aware of what they look like on the body:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
When you are prepared emotionally, physically, and financial to have children then it is the right time to engage in sexual activities. Children can be accidents, birth control is not always effective, and it's best to be completely prepared. A parent-to-be needs to make major decisions while being stable enough to handle the worst.
Worst case scenario is that you lose your virginity, find out your partner has been cheating on you, realize you've contracted an incurable STD, and are pregnant. If your partner leaves, then you're alone with an STD you have to inform future partners about, plus you'll have to figure out how you're going to support a child. There are SO MANY different things that could happen that it's really not worth having sex before getting married even. I mean, some women really do go through things like that--they thing their partner is great and then he turns into something they never saw before, leaving them confused and lost in a hard situation. I don't want to see anyone like that :(
Enjoy your youth right now with your boyfriend. Make good memories of other activities you two can do together. Things you can look back at when you're older and grey, giggling, and say, "Remember when...!" Sex really doesn't leave you with those sorts of memories. You look back and say, "We really didn't do much when we were younger..."
I hope I've helped you figure some things out really. I know you're going through tough times. If you have any more questions like this you can always ask me :)
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i think you should tell your boyfriend what you are feeling. he will probably understand and make you feel better. You shouldnt have sex because other people are having it.. wait until you are ready. Sex is a big step and you wont enjoy it until you want to have it without being pressured into it. Just tell your boyfriend what you said in your question and tell him that you want to wait until you are ready and if he loves you then he will understand..
good luck & hope i helped :)
-erin
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Don't do something just because everyone else is doing it. I mean so what if you guys have been together for a year, maybe you both aren't emotionally ready for sex. I'd say wait a while before you have sex. Because if you do it now while feeling under pressure and uncomfortable I garentee you'll regret it later. Beside sex is about love and it should be something special..not the latest trend or game. Just think this through before you do anything yet. Hope this helps! ;]
yours,
Michellemonster <3
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Dont pay attention to other peoples relationships, every one is different. Just go at your own pace and wait til your ready, and make sure its what you want to do.
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