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Really upset and fed up. Harassment.
I'm sorry this is so long.
When I was 12 or 13 this guy in my grade had a crush on me. I was not into it, and at at that age I wanted nothing to do with anyone like Billy. Billy was really sexually active, even at that age, and I wanted to distance myself from that. One day in school he came up to me and put his hand far up my thigh and I pushed him away and he replied with "What, are you a lesbian or something?" in a joking manner. I said "no" but as a way to get attention from me he started this joke that I was a lesbian. At first it was a joke and I really didn't know how to handle it as a 12 year old. I sort of laughed it off. Some guys caught on about the joke and four years later, they still call me a lesbian and dyke and joke around. I have explained CLEARLY that it upsets me and I asked them to stop it because it's tired, and old, and not funny. They still think it's hilarious. They'll say HEY LESBO, LESBIAN!
I have a lot of friends and am well liked, but it's really hurting my self esteem. In two of my classes, everyone has a picture on a computer database which we go on. One of my friends said they were flipping through the pictures on the disk of one computers and all over my picture someone wrote DYKE and drew horrible things on my face. I can't wrap my head around it! I've done nothing to these kids, and I'm sure it was one of them. I came home a bawled my eyes out. My feelings are really hurt, and it's harassment now. I cried one time last year because of it during school, but they still call me "lesbo, dyke, lesbian" and laugh as if it's the most clever thing in the world. Half the guys that say things to me now don't even know or care how this all got started in the first place. It's cruel. I don't want to go to the guidance counselor or anything. I've tried to ignore it lately, but things have gotten worse. Help
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Two easy solutions.
1) Ignore them. Don't let it bother you. They'll do it less when you don't react at all, and pretend that they don't even exist. When I say this, picture them talking to you and you don't react at all. You look through them if theyre standing in front of you. It'll piss them off to no end to get no attention.
2) Agree with them. When they call you a lesbian, respond with something like "Yep, and I've got a sleepover with the girls tonight, so at least I know I'm getting some tonight" or something along those lines. Be creative, but it will ruin their fun if you have fun with it too, or again it won't bother you.
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Bravo Solid, only one thing I would contradict, don't ask your friends to get involved, that only starts a war. Leave it alone and don't react, that is your best defense here. If your friends decide to join in, let it be their choice. Dragging more people into it is just falling back into the same old thing, they are getting a rise out of you.
I know it's hard to ask of you, but don't let childish things ruin your life, you are a good spirit, be strong. Laugh it off, let them act like fools and when someone brings something up to your attention like the computer thing, laugh and say, "like I care what these children think." Never let them see you cry or crack.
Another thing, don't go getting a boy friend just to prove someone wrong. Be above the fray, you are not what others think you are. Your Class is showing, stay classy.
Much love to you dear spirit. To know you should be an honor for anyone.
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They know full well that they've got to you and will repeatedly do this until such times as you act like you don't give a shit (pardon the vulgarity but it's needed). They know that they can call you a lesbian all they want and get the same rise out of you.
Once you stop reacting to it or telling them off or it hurts you they'll move on. You have to stand firm and show people they can't target you or hurt you with such nonsense. All these boys want is that reaction and to see they've hit a nerve. No matter how it hurts don't show it.
In your mind you need to get to the point where you know that they can call you a lesbian or whatever else they throw at you and NOTHING will make it so or make others believe it unless they are completely dense.
If I called you a purple people eater or a unicorn right now you would think it nuts. It's the same thing here it can't possibly hurt you and nobody will believe it unless you react as that fuels the rumor and the fire.
If you know you're not a lesbian and your inner circle knows it that's all that counts. If you don't react to it everyone will soon forget the rumor. Those who don't aren't worth your time. Also, if you start dating a guy--that will quell it faster than anything if you like someone of course.
Get your friends to stick up for you too and put these creeps in their place whenever they can. Make life a little difficult for them too and show them what it feels like to always be teased. don't start rumors about them or mock them but let them give them a rough go for a bit. Make them poison to your female peers by exposing how immature they are being.
Also point out to girls how one stuck his hand up your thigh into your skirt and called you a lesbian for slugging him. You know what? If anyone calls you a lesbian ever again tell them who started it and the fact you slapped him away when he touched you in a way he shouldn't have years ago or not. They'll crucify him as girls stick together against creeps like that.
Next tell your teacher about it and how it started and how he touched you inappropriately and you slapped him and never told a few years ago. They'll find a way to fix that kid's wagon fast without him knowing who told the truth.
They're doing it because you hit him that day and he wants to get even over being rejected and slugged. They could also be doing it because you have talent or popularity they don't and they are jealous.
Bottom line, don't cry over these idiots. In a few years they'll be at the bottom of the barrel working at a fast food joint or worse and you'll have surpassed them intellectually, emotionally and career wise. They're nobody and nothing to you.
You friends and those who like you are all that matter. Anyone else with an opinion or outside your circle who is acting like an idiot don't worry about. Go to school and be with your friends and have fun and if anyone tries to bother you brush them off and walk away. They'll soon get that they better not mess with you.
It's all about the crush and rejection.
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tell these kids they are so immature. Even though you are not lesbian, people shouldn't joke about it. It's really not funny. They are being really STUPID saying that. To make your friend's laugh just shout back at them "STRAIGHT! NORMAL! IMMATURE!" I'm not sure if that will get to them but whatever. Rumors happen, and hey, we can help it. Just tell them to shutup and maybe try to get a boyfriend to prove to them your not lesbian. Just so you know, they are just being inconsiderate and have no idea what they are saying. Just think, in about 10 years they might become gay and you could just laugh right back at them!
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