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my relationship and sex
i love my boyfriend dearly. but somehow i think i got my views on sex mixed up. he cheated on me early on in our relationship and now i feel like if he doesnt want to have sex with me then i must not be pretty enough, or good enough for him. i get really upset when we are laying in bed and he just rolls over and goes to sleep instead of having sex with me. i must be too fat, or too ugly, or he doesnt like my hair, or i just dont turn him on. i dont know how to get past this... i love him so much but i am extremely hurt every night that we do not have sex and i dont know how much longer i can stay in a relationship where i am hurt soo much.
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Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
What do you thing about yourself? Do you feel your too fat/ugly etc?
if so, have you always felt this? or only since your BF has treated you like this?
if you feel good about yourself, dont change to make your BF want you more. if he cheated, its his fault. he should be making up for it, not you.
You cant feel bad for somthing you havent done. now, if things dont change, talk about it.
ask him why? whats wrong? does he still feel the same way about you?
& if he doesnt..
move on. you obviously can do better than stay with someone like this..
it sounds a little blunt, but if your young, you like to feel good about yourself
hope this helps darling, if you wannah talk more, let me no xx
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You should talk to him about this. One day when you are both calm/ relaxed and not hurrying anywhere say something like "Lately we haven't been having sex. When this happens I feel like maybe I'm not pretty enough or good enough." or "I miss having sex with you." or "Sometimes I feel like there's something wrong with me that maybe I'm not turning you on. Is this true?" The trick is to not be offensive and go with the "I feel" statements.
In all honesty, there is probably nothing wrong with you. When someone loves you, it doesn't matter how fat/thin/ good you are. If anything, he's probably stressed out or less horny right now for some reason. Maybe the passion of first getting together with you has worn off. In any case, it's probably best you get these worries out in the open instead of them causing you to keep blaming yourself.
And also, when that time comes where you feel alone with him seemingly ignoring you beside you, remember that you can also make the first move. If you want to have sex with him and cuddle up to him/let him know at night, he probably won't refuse.
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the words cheating and boyfriend being together bother me as well, but for a different reason. the word cheating should be paired with ex boyfriend. if hes hurting you, dump his ass and find someone better.
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I don't normally answer these kind of questions, but something in your words is making me, I think it's the word cheating. I don't like this word when paired with boy friend, or girl friend. It always bothers me, (when you don't have the commitment of marriage), the use of the word. How can you say "he cheated on me", when you don't have clear title, so to speak. Either one of you can walk out the door and never return anytime you want, with no legal consequence. But because you love him dearly, you expect him to be true to you, you want a Hollywood romance, he wants a "piece" and a place to sleep. You risk your whole life with a guy who will not risk his enough to say, "will you marry me", yet you will risk having his child. Can you say needy? Sooner or later your going to start thinking, "if I get pregnant, he'll have to marry me", now there's a position of strength.
I have loved several women, but I picked the one that proved she was right for me and it had little to do with her looks, so put your insecurities aside.
Have the guts to test him and I don't think I have to tell you how. Thinking that there is only one person out there that you can love deeply is a weak excuse not to try to find him.
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