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i can't let this go
15/f
me and my bf have been going out for 7 months and we are in love. for some reason i cannot get over the fact that he has gotten a bj before, one time [i think] from one girl. by the way i have never given a bj or aything before. idk what my problem is. we haven't done much sexually (were taking it slow pretty slow :] ) but i don't think i would be able to progress sexually with him until i am over this stupid issue. but like the whole thing kills me inside. he says he kinda feels the same way that ive gotten fingered before but besides him i've only gotten fingered once or twice by one other guy, and my bf has fingered numerous other girls before so its definetly not the same. idk does anyone understand how i feel or any advice of what i can do to get over this? by the way saying something like oh its in the past now and theres nothing you can do about it does not help :/
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
First, you need to recognize that jealousy is not cause or justification to treat him any differently. Your jealousy is your problem.
Second, you need to recognize that you don't own him. You are dating him. Its different.
Third, you need to sit down and figure out why it bothers you. You need to talk to him about it once you figure it out. When I say why, I mean specifics. Does it bother you because you are afraid he will be more experienced or will judge you as not being as good as her? Does it bother you because you think he shouldnt have? Does it bother you because you are possessive and want him to be only yours? Etc etc.
Communication is required. So think first, then go talk to him.
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I'm pretty sure everyone knows how you feel. When you love someone, it can be a horrible feeling knowing they've done things previously with other people and haven't kept it for you. but you must understand everyone has had a past and within time, you'll accept this. You should be focusing on your future and ways to satisfy each other - not dwelling on their past, because unfortunately, you can't change it.
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aww =[ I know how heartbreaking it can feel. Honestly, sometimes thoughts like that will come and go throughout a relationship (one time I dated a guy that had a one night stand and it killed me inside) but the only thing you can do is realize it's in the past. It's a bj so at least he didn't go all the way with her. Just look at it like this.. it's his past and you are his future, when you two decide to take it farther just do it better than his past girl did ;] hehe ps - remember to use protection! (you're young so be extra careful)
Hope you feel better love, and if you still have a hard time feel free to send me a message
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give you mind something to think about besides that. instead of focusing on what you hate that he has done, think of what you two have and how no one will ever take that away from you. also, if you tried a bj and liked it, you wouldn't be thinking of how the other girl did it to him. instead you'd be thinking of yourself.
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