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Can this mother daughter relationship be saved?
My mom and I have not had a good relationship my whole life. I've always lived with my grandparents exept for sometimes my mom wated me to stay with her and I did but it never lasted long. Now she lives in the basement at my grandparents house but stays at her boyfriends apartment a lot of the time. I thought we have been getting along for the last few months but lately she has been getting really mad really easy. I don't see her hardly ever anymore and when I do see her she thinks of a way to make me seem like I did something wrong and I'm such a bad kid and I'm honestly not, my grandma always tells me how good I am for being a 16 year old girl. We fight everyday that we see eachother and its always about 5 minutes after saysing hi to eachother. Every time we get done fighting I end up crying when she leaves. She is getting her own house soon with her boyfriend but its going to be about 30 minutes away from my school and all my friends. (My 1/2 sister lives 45 mins away and she wants to be closer to her) She said I could stay at my school just tell them I live with my grandparents. I've told her I don't want to drive to school for 30 mins everyday especally with gas prices risin. And I don't want to be that far away from my friends. I've tried talking her into moving closer but she wont so there is no use in bringing that up. I'm trying to convince her to let me live with my grandparents during the school year so I can get to school but she still says no. I can never defend myself against her because she will find a way to turn it around and make me feel even worse. Another thing is that I feel she can never accept me for who I am. Im about 200 lbs and she is constantly trying to get me to lose weight but I'm happy the way I am. I'm looking for advice on how to get our relationship to be good.
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Well, i think you should try to be a as noce as possible to her even when she is really mean. Like if she says something mean to you act like it dosen't bother you and act very cheerful, it will make you feel better to just trying to be cheerful. Hope this helps. If you have any other questions you can just message me!
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It sounds like you are more upset about being away from your friends and your grandparents rather than your relationship with your mother. This is understandable, because from the sound of things, your most consistent relationships have probably come from your grandparents and possibly friends in school. It also sounds like your mother wants to make up for lost time, by having you live with her full time until you are completely independent. Your relationship with your mother is not going to be saved if you live away from her. One thing you could start doing is seeking to understand where she is coming from, without resenting her for what she believes. You only feel worse in arguments with your mother because you believe you can change her point of view, and you can not. The only way you can feel better about expressing a difference of opinion with your mother, is to recognize that true acceptance comes from self acceptance.
Good luck
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Well, depending if she's been there for most of your life. If she's been there for alot of your life then it can work eventually, if she's willing to. From what you've said she doesn't seem very willing. I mean tell her exactly what you typed. As long as your healthy and 200 lbs tell her that when she's trying to get you to lose weight it's not going to change your mind and you're staying the way you are because your happy. As far as you relationship don't just tell her that you don't want to move away from school and friend explain your attatchment and how hard it would be to switch high schools especially when you have 1 or 2 years left.
Let me know if there is anything else i can do.
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