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My relationship with my mom sucks.
Hey, im 14/f. Me and my mom kinda have a really bad relationship. Ofcourse, being a daughter I want to have a mother to count on and be able to tell her my secrets w/o her yelling or getting upset with me. I would like to have a nice mature conversation with her telling her that i wish to have a mother daughter relationship in which i dont have to be scared to tell her things nor do i have to sneek things by her. I also want her to understand that i am in deed growing and need to be allowed to do more things and have more priviledges. PLEASE HELP. HOW DO I TELL HER ALL tHIS IN A MATURE WAY? Thank you veryyyy much. :)
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I was in a similer situation. This is tough because you want to be able to talk with her in person but your not ready to, i know because i was the same way. My mom never even knew what i felt until one day i wrote her a note that just basicly said that i needed to talk to her but i wasn't sure if i could do it in person. so i suggested e-mail. so we worked out our problems over e-mail and the best part was if she was mad because of what i wrote, she wasn't yelling. now that we both have what we have to say off our chests we can now talke in person normally. i belive, that you should do the same. just for a little bit untill you can actually repair the damage thats been done to your relationship, you can't really just walk right up to her and tell her everything you want to tell her.
hope i helped!
-E
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Definitely talk to her! dont write her a letter or call her. this other two wont work trust me. My relationship with my mom grew apart because she lives in another country and we talk only on the phone or e-mails. trust me it's not the same as in person.
so yea talk to her, stay calm, and explain carefully what you want in this way she'll notice how mature you are. Oh and most importantly DONT be scared remember she's your mom and she'll love you no matter what! hope this helps
Good Luck
-Luna
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Talking I believe in a civilised way is what i call mature, not in a letter form.
Ask her if you could talk to her, as a growing daughter to a mother and tell her what you want to say. If you just talk and listen to one and another, then there will be no arguing and less shouting, for if one pair of ears are blocked, then the other will be as well; but if both are open, you can listen to what your mother is saying and your mothers hears what you're saying (if you get my point).
Don't make it sound as if you're making demands otherwise it will make things worse. Just say things like "I really want us to get on well because i would just like to talk to you in a mature way".
Now, you can read this bit and acknowledge what i've said or you can ignore it.
Your mother, i feel, is doing her very best for you, even though you may not be aware of it. You're in a stage of your development from child to adult, where you're making decisions, your feeling more, your understanding the world that tiny bit better, your maturing into a woman and that is the time when mothers need to be protective because it is at this time where children can go 'off track' (what i mean is that they become emo something like that. I've got nothing against emo's by the way). By keeping restrictions, she believes that she's allowing you to continue to grow up in the safe environment which you were brought up in, therefore protecting you from the 'big, bad world'. Seeing you trying to break out of them would make her distressed and angry at the same time because she's feel as if you don't appriciate what she's doing.
Tell her things which sound mature and grown up, put points forward such as "I'm growing up and i need to do more things to help me find out who i am".
This wasn't a lecture, it was a just a way to help you see what your mum may be thinking.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Write her a letter. If she never gives you a chance to talk then maybe she will take time out to read. Then leave it somewhere that you know she will found it when you arent around.
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