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i think my mom is cheating on my dad!
I KNOW ITS LONG, BUT PLEASE PLEASE ITS VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ ALL AND PLEASE TRY TO HELP ME!
i dont have school for the next 2 weeks and today i went to see my mom at work when i got there she was talking on the phone in a veryy flirtatious way. if you knew my mom u knew she has a very strong voice and is often being mean to people. but on the other hand she was actually laughing at what the person on the other line said and was being verrry flirty and talking in a low voice. i listened more and i KNew it was a guy. i also knew it wasn't someone that i knew because that was not the way she usually talks to people. her and my dad have been married for about 19 years now. they always say that they dont belive in gettin divorce and that they love eachother very much. also this might sounds very discusting but i have heard them have sex a lot recently because i cant sleep so i can hear evrything in my house. so then i walked into her room and she went to the bathroom as i got my chance i checked her phonee and this number had called her and she had been takling for about 1/2 n hr. i also checked her messages and in her inbox this number had sent to messages, on saying "what else lady" and the second "can i call you" the only perosn that calls my mom lady is my dad in a cute way sort of saying babe but i knew it wasnt my dad because that is not his cell number nd it would be stupid for him to secretly have another one. the messages in her outbox to him where "uhmm lemme think about it" and "okay call me for like 2 secs" those '2 secs' turned into 1.2 n hr. later when we got home i went to check her mesages and her calls again and she had deleted all of it! meaning she didn't want anyyone seeing that! i wrote down the number before when she was in the bathroom on my leg so she wouldnt see it. i later called it a man that i have neverr heard his voice before picked up. i go everywhere with my parents a lot so i know of all their friends and people around them. i really think she's cheating, WHAT SHOULD I DO? my mom is very religious and i KNOW my dad is crazy and completely in LOVE with her, i dont want to hurt him, but i feel as though im hurtin ghim more by keeping it from him, please HELP.
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Hi,
If you don't feel able to just turn a blind eye to this - and I suspect you don't, then you will have to confront your mom. I use the word confront but try to make the conversation as non-confrontational as possible, stay calm and explain your concerns and how you came about having them. Explain to her you thought it best to talk with her first rather than running straight to your farther.
As for if your mom has been up to no good, I don't know - I don't know her but I accept how you could certainly think her recant behaviour has been suspicious.
I suppose it depends on how your mom reacts what you would have to do next. If you don't get satisfactory answers or she refuses to discuss it, and you still don't feel able to just let it go the only other thing you could do is tell your dad about it all. You would need to think very carefully about if that is the right thing to do as there is no predicting where it could lead.
One step at a time - sit down for a chat with your mom and see first what comes out of that, good luck!
Chandler XX
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i think you should look away and forget. the more you snoop around, the more deeper you will get. next thing you know, you're taking a bus to seattle, out of cash, sitting in the rain =[
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Don't say anything about it to your dad until you've first talked to your mom about it. And be absolutely sure, if you're going to say anything to her. It's your mom's job to tell your dad if it is happening, which is hard, but it's the way to go. Hopefully it's all just a big misunderstanding, but since you don't have school for a while, "stalk" your mom and see if any more suspicious things happen. Hopefully right now things are just circumstantial and it just seems like she's cheating. If more stuff happens, inquire about it... tell her that if she really is cheating, that she needs to tell your dad. Don't tell your dad unless you are 100 percent positive that she's cheating because you don't want to create a problem where there might not be one. I hope everything turns out okay for you!
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Talk with your mom about how you feel. You do not however have a right to judge her. Marriage is between the two people who said the vows and it means different things to different people and changes over time...sometimes for the better, but rough patches happen. Also, you are technically an adult, though you live at home. So, your parents have already done their job of raising you and you need to focus on your own life. Your job is not to "protect" your dad by telling him what 1. May not be true 2. May not be as bad as you think 3. Is not your business 4. He may not want to know, even if he suspects it 5. He may not deserve to know...maybe he does not care or is not as innocent as you think 6. Should only come from your mom, should she decide to say anything when and how she chooses 7. May seem like a simple choice, but life and marriage is complicated. Leave it alone, except for talking to your mom and giving her a chance to say for herself. If you find out from her that something is going on and she asks you to not say anything, tell her that is putting you in an unfair position, but give her a chance to come clean first.
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i think before you go ahead and get your dad involved in this, you should confront your MOTHER about it. ask her about it first and talk with her. if she stops, your dad never has to find out. do it like when you're home alone with her (not when your dad is at home) and just be like, "mom, i have to talk to you." don't tell her you went through her messages or ANYTHING you prowled through. you wouldn't want her getting mad at you & then she wouldn't be able to trust you. be like, "mom, are you cheating on dad?" don't "hint" or "poke" just flat out ask.
good luck, babe.
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Well first off be absolutely sure that she is cheating...
Second you should tell him, but only if you are 120% sure...it would hurt him more if he knew that you knew all along and didnt say anything, trust me..
So if you are 120% sure then tell him that you think she is cheating on him and tell him the whole thing you told us...its nice you care about your dad so much!! :)
-hayley
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alright so what I have to say to this is- I bet your mom really loves you... am I right?? If she REALLY loves you, which means that she would take a bullet for you, she would protect you and stop anything from hurting you. If she is like that, then she will tell you herself. Now first things first, you need to first find out if she is actually cheating on your father before you're jumping to conclusions. I WOULDN'T talk to your dad just yet. You should talk to him privately though when the time is right. but not now. Because you're still not sure if she is actually cheating on him, so you don't want to tell your dad this, because it might not be totally true and it could freak him out.
What I think you should do is talk to your mom. But not in a "who is this guy? are you cheating on dad?" sort of way. In more of a "what did you do last friday night? Do you have any adult friends that I don't know about?" But don't sound too suspisious. Remember, if your mom really loves you, she won't lie to you. Most mom's get seriously mad when their child lies to them, so most likely they won't lie to you either.
Or if you're not comfortable talking to her face to face, you could write your mom a note, email, IM etc.
Also, I saw this on a movie once. If you have a tape recorder, you could hide it somewhere where you'll know your mom and the guy will talk on the phone. then when she leaves, grab the tape and talk to your mom about it and ask her "what is this all about?"
It IS possible that you're mom could be cheating on your father, even if they had sex together, she still could be cheating on him. First talk to your mom and find the truth. If it is the truth, ask your mom if she is going to tell your father, and if she isn't then you should tell him. If she is going to tell him, then before that happens, drop a little hint to your father about what is going to hit him. If she is not cheating on him (she says she's not) then still do a little more digging and find proof. MAKE SURE YOU GET PROOF. because without it, people will assume you're making this up. If you 120% know she isn't cheating on him, then ask her who this man is and make sure your mom is aware that to you it sounds like she's flirting. ask her to be careful with this man and limit the talking between them.
I wish the best of luck and if you have anymore problems, you can always inbox me.
-volleyball2150
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