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Feel more comfortable..?
OK this may not make sense to all of you, and if so, I'm sorry :P
Well the thing is..I feel more comfortable hanging around with guys than girls. I have an equal amount of guy and girl friends and I'm NOT a tomboy.
An ordinary girl.
But I donno, it's like with guys I'm more relaxed and more outgoing.
But then again, at the same time I have quite low self esteem.
Is there anything wrong with me? The way I feel more relaxed around guys, why is that?
Also what could I do to improve my self esteem?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I think this makes perfect sense. If you have a low self esteem, then I can defintely see how you would feel more comfortable around guys than girls.
When you're around other girls, you may be subconciously comparing yourself to them, and feeling that you don't measure up. You might feel that you're not as pretty or fun or attractive as them. You may even worry that they're thinking that about you, too. If you're constantly worried about measuring up to someone, or competing with them, of course it's difficult to relax and be yourself around them.
With your guy friends, on the other hand, there's no need for comparisons; they're guys, you're a girl. That makes you special when you're around them, no matter what. There's no competition between you. And if your guy friends ever flirt with you, even just a little, that boosts your self esteem. So you feel more confident and relaxed around them.
So how can you improve your self esteem, so you can feel just as relaxed and confident around your girl friends as you do with the guys? Well, here are a couple things to think about:
1) Keep in mind that nobody is perfect. Everyone (even the seemingly "perfect" people) have things they wish they could change about themselves. And there are some things you CAN change about yourself. If you want to change them, then go ahead and work on it. Some things, however, can't be changed. But if you constantly dwell on things you can't change, that will only make you bitter and unhappy. And that will make you far less attractive than any of your actual "flaws" will. So put those things out of your mind, and focus on your good qualities. If you concentrate on the things you like about yourself, others will see them as well. It's like if someone sees you looking out the window, they'll look out too to see what you're looking at. It works the same way when you're looking at yourself; if your focus is on your positive traits, that's what others will look at, too.
2) Whatever it is you don't like about yourself, you can be certain that it bothers YOU a whole lot more than it bothers anyone else. In fact, most people probably don't even notice it. Just think about it... do you focus on all your friends' flaws? The zit on their chin, the couple extra pounds they're carrying, the fact that they stink at math? Probably not. You like and admire them for their personality, the fun you have together, your conversations and inside jokes, etc. I once knew a girl who had a huge birthmark over half her face; yeah, it was noticable, but once you got to know her, you didn't even see it, you just saw "her." She was one of the most popular girls at school.
I hope this helps some. But don't worry... there's nothing wrong with you. :)
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theres nothing wrong with you. you probbaly enjoy being with the guys cause you may worry about girls judging you more than you worry about the guys. thats normal.. as for self esteem. for me its from within. i know it sounds SO cheesy and stupid but telling yourself that your outfit looks good today and stuff helps. you dont have to sit in the mirror and convicne yourself your pretty everyday. just small things that you can think about yourself as the day goes on.. if you know what i mean? just try it for a while. i swear it helps
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Wow, i know how you feel. The majority of my friends are guys, and i LOVE hanging out with them. You shouldn't feel weird about it. Everyone has there preferences, and you just find guys to be more fun then girls. Remember, girls are mean in a scary bitchy way, at least guys will tell you what is on there mind. So don't feel weird about hanging out with guys only. You probably do it just because there more fun and know how to have a good time.
Also about your self esteem. Self esteem isn't somthing that u can raise in a day. It could take a long time to make you feel better about yourself. But being with people who like you, and are your friends will make u feel more comfortable in your own skin. when your with people who enjoy being with you, that makes you feel better about yourself.
I really hope i helped, feel free to send me a private message if you have any quistions.
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There is absolutly nothing wrong with you. You are just more comfortable being around boys than you do with girls.
To increase your self esteem, take some risks. Go and do things with your girl friends and hang out with them more often. Don't expect an immediate result, building confidence takes a while but when it's built, you will feel great because you'll be able to hang out with both boys and girls and nothing to worry about.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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You are completely normal!
I actually grew up that way. Actually, I had more friends that were guys than I girls.
A low self esteem? While researching your question, I came across this website. This site has some really good ideas!
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Good luck!
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well you may feel more relaxed around them because you might just have a stronger atchment to guys, there is nothing wrong with you you dont have to be a tomboy if your hanging out with guys that no different then hanging out with girls its all the same.
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