|
freshmen drinking.
I'm in high school, 15/f, a freshmen and it seems like everyone in my school besides me drinks and does drugs. I will NEVER drink or do drugs because it ruins your life...but at lunch one day, my friends were all talking about how they went to one of my friends house, let's call her A, and how A's mom was home and they still got away with drinking vodlka and beer and getting crunk together. Only one of my friends had a sip of vodkla and nothing else at the party but all of the sudden I was sooo mad. The day before the party, my friend who only had a sip of vodlka [lets call her F] was like, to A, "yeah, I'll have a drink, and I'll get close to drunk." and A was like, "F! I am sooooo proud of you! You don't know how proud I am of you that you are going to get drunkk!" and I got sooo mad at that I just bursted out and said to A, "Why is that something to be proud of?!" and A was like, "Because F swore off everything remotley related to drinking and drugs, so I am sooo proud of her that she even said that right now." and I was like, "well, I'm not going to drink and I'm not doing drugs." and everyone at the lunch table just looked at me except for my other friend, lets call her S, agreed with me. Then I didn't go to A's party and Monday I heard some pretty bad stories like of the people getting drunk and how they got it all on video...it like made me mad.
I'm mad, and I thought higher of my friends and now they all think I'm a loser, except for F and S, because I don't want to drink and do drugs. What should I do? any comments will be greatly appreciated and thanks ot all of you who read all of that because I know it was confusing and long.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Work & School category?
Maybe give some free advice about: School?
That is really good that you didt give into peer pressure keep it up. You should try and talk to your friends that got into drinking and, tell them what there getting themselves into. Most likely they wont pay attention to you until they get themselves into alot of trouble. When they come around try to help them even after all they did and said to you "everyone deserves a second chance". Best of luck
]
Ugh.
Children.
See, heres the problem. Drinking and Drugs dont ruin your life. Idiots who drink alot and do drugs ruin their own lives.
Thats something to make clear. Every one of your friends is responsible for themselves. The things they are doing aren't ruining their lives for them, THEY are ruining their own lives, drugs and alcohol are just the chosen method.
Now. Something to firm your resolve.
Your friends are children. In maturity, in action and thought. A little insight into how they think.
They have associated drinking and doing drugs as something "adult". And so, they want to be adults and imitate adult behavior without any understanding of what you're supposed to be doing. The same way, drinking and drugs are something that many people (like you) dont see as a good thing. And so the people who choose to do these things all convince themselves that what THEY are doing is right and that you are wrong, and they reassure themselves that they are right when they convince someone else to do what they do.
In simpler terms, they feel better when they know other people are doing what they are doing because they can't all be wrong, right?
Well, they can be. They are.
Intoxicants are something people do for a variety of reasons, but the reason adults are allowed to do these things and kids arent, is because adults are fully formed (or are supposed to be). Adults pay rent, maintain their own independent lives, possibly take care of children. For people who have their shit together enough to handle these things, intoxicants are something that can be enjoyed responsibly.
Children, on the other hand, havent and cant do these things. Your friends arent working and paying their own bills. They cant maintain their own lives. Its important for someone to learn to be a whole person WITHOUT habits like drugs and alcohol.
Its made worse by things like camera phones and the like. Now people get fucked up and record it and think its wonderful. Someday some of these friends will be sitting there trying to decide between rent and the next drink or baggie, and make the wrong decision, and have to get bailed out or lose a house. Or lose a job because they just couldnt stay sober enough to wake up on time for work every day. Etc, etc.
Its not the substances that are evil. Its people's habits of doing them without regard to maintaining a life and being responsible that is.
You are right. Someday, you will be able to enjoy a drink, even get a little drunk, without putting yourself in danger. Theres nothing wrong as long as everything is approached responsibly. But now is not the time and it speaks very, very highly of you that at 15 you can recognize that and stick to it.
]
First of all, get your friend who went in the wrong direction back in the right direction.
Second, stay who you are now, your on the right path. And if you remain on that path, others are more likely to follow.
And if you can, try to get others to realize the dangers if you can. Otherwise, try to find as many people who are just like you and stick with them, even if they can be a hassle or arent the kind of people you hang out with or whatever. As long as you can be with others who have the same thoughts as you, you are more likely to stay on that path.
And if it worries you so much about the others and their use of drugs and alcohol, try to get those people to quit or help those tat want to quit do so. Other than that, you should just treat them like they were normal people unless they are high, drunk, or doing drugs.
]
First of all, I want to say that I am so proud of you for not compensationg your standards! Sometimes it's hard to be in a situation like that. You will be better off in the end for sticking to what you believe.
Well, I am not in your shoes, but if I were, I would still try to be very respectful of the people that went to the party. They don't have the same standards as you, and maybe that was their first indroduction to the concept that... wow, maybe teenage drinking is wrong! Maybe drugs are more trouble than they are worth. It sounds like S has the same standards as you- I'm proud of her too! But it's about time that you remove yourself from the situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, like this one. You need a group of friends that share your beliefs and support you, so you in turn can support them. You need to sit at a different table. Let your standards be known and hold your head high! Hope I helped.
]
I'm a junior in high school and I do not drink or do drugs. It's high school though. People are young, they want to experiment. Have I smoked pot before? Yes. Have I tasted alcohol before? Yes. Have I ever been drunk? No.(Don't worry, I am not condoning it at all. I'm just saying...) And I've found that you are going to have some friends that have different morals than you and will want to drink on the weekends or snort a few lines of cocaine. Guess what though? They don't remain your friends for long. It's going to create problems in the friendship down the line, and you are going to realize that it changes them. What should you do? I mean, do you really want to remain friends with people that jump for joy when someone wants to get drunk with them? That should answer your question. You just started high school, there are so many new people that you are going to meet that share your views and respect your morals. Really, you just have to wait until you find them. I promise though, it'll be worth it.
]
Hell yes! Go you! XD Stood up to the peeps! I'm so proud as well ^-^ You deserve a cookie!! No!! 3 cookies *hands them over* Don't you dare give in! This is one battle you can't loose, trust me. Let your "friends" (Lovely friends...<< I say ditch them) think what they want. As long as you are happy, and let me tell you, with this going on, you find out who your true friends are. Which is amazing...sometimes...but look, as I said, don't give up and don't give in. There are so many people who wish they had someone like you around to speak their mind so that they can agree and etc etc
Just stand by what you said, and just tell them that you aren't going to change your mind, and that they need to get over it. Cause they can't make you change...
You go girl, and good luck =3 and I hoped I helped! Enjoy the cookies XD
~Vera
]
well i will say that im proud of you for saying that! you are really smart when it come to this! all i can say is DON'T GIVE INTO THE PEER PRESSURE! You will see that its not worth it to flush your life down the drain. Well, you do.
Try talking to your friend separately and tell her that getting drunk is not something to be proud of and that you should feel bad for "A". Let them think this. I know its easier said than done but you can't let them convince you.
and if it makes you fell better, I have never had a drink in my life or have done anything like that (16/f). Think of it this way, your parents are proud of having a well mannered kid and they know that they can trust you. YOU GO GIRL!
]
More Questions: |