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drinking then sex??
Well, my bf has a little drinking problem. Its not all the time, but when he starts he cant stop, but hes not dependant on drinking. He doesnt do it all the time. Well, one time he said he went to a poker party. I went out to a club with my girlfriends. While i was there, i danced with my girls. Well, this particular club had like little beds with a sheer curtain around it for people to hook up. Well, i saw this girl getting a little friskey with a guy, like shed known him for a while, well they closed the big black curtain, but before that she took off her clothes and so did he. I thought i saw my boyfriends face so i ran up there and i peeked through the black curtain. I saw the back of the guys head having sex with the girl, well he had long brown hair like my bf. I didnt want to seem like a pervert if it wasnt my bf, so i crept to the other side and saw it was my bf!!! I ripped open the curtains and was like WTF JAKE and hes like katie, come join, i love threesomes! and i was like WERE OVER. The next day he called me and didnt remember anything at all! I told him about it, and hes like well i was at my friends but i started drinking, and we ended up at the club...then all black, then i woke up in the club with no shirt on. I dont know what to do. I was like well were over, and he showed up with flowers, the next day with candy, the next with a diamond necklace. I think he really wants me back. Should i take him back, or kick him to the curb??
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no dont take him back. he has a problem, and this will happen again. you will get mad, and he will just show up with flowers. you shouldnt have to be ok with him having sex with other girls when he drinks
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Don't take him back.
Being drunk is never an excuse. It's his own fault he drank that much. He was irresponsible. Furthermore, alcohol actually reduces sexual drive. "I was drunk hunny!" is not an excuse. ever.
He also needs to realize that he drinks to much. You leaving him is a wake up call he needs to recieve. He has a problem, and maybe now that you're gone he can see what his drinking does to others.
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So the fact that he can't remember makes it a little better because that means that it meant nothing. But its still sooo bad. Last week, I did stuff with a guy and I was so drunk I couldn't remember any the next morning. He had to tell mee what happened :/ But I have to take responsibility for my actions, as it was my choice to drink, and I probably shouldn't have done that. I wouldn't have done the stuff I did if I had been sober though...
You could take him back though, if you set ground rules. I was reading this article in a magazine, and the same thing happened to this girl. She was devastated. She took him back though, and she said that she had a hard time to get over it, and they had trust issues for a while. But after a few months, they were closer than ever.
The person below me said that if he does it once, he might do it again. Has he ever done anything like this sober? Anyways, set the rules that he must NEVER drink again. And if he goes out, he has to tell you. *(This one was the one that the girl in the magazine had).
Honestly, you shouldn't be asking people you don't know if you should get back together or not. You need to think about what YOU want; if you've been with him long enough, and how your trust has been in the relationship before this happened. He does seem like he is truly sorry. This is a decision that's should take you a while to think up. Give yourself a two week break in which you can just have time to think. I would say that most guys wouldn't buy a diamond necklace if they weren't serious about a girl...
Good luck & tell me what your decision is!
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Well.
I wouldnt take him back,
only becaseu if that happens, and he cheats on you while hes drunk, chances are he'll do it again and not remember that either.
But yeah
its your decision though. You've gotta figure out if you want him back after what he did to you, or if you dont want him back.
you know?
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honestly dont take him back. he could do this more than once; even when he's sober. hes trying to buy you back with expensive nice things. yeah its nice now till you see him cheating and this process continues. and while hes doing this at night he could be doing the same thing and the next morning bring you this stuff. also he could be lieing he could be saying i dont remember and remember every detail you never know. it just matters on how much you trust this guy. dont let anyone on here make descisions for you though.
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Well I wouldn't in your place. There are two reasons why I would not forgive this.
First and most important, everyone who drinks must be responsible for their actions while under influence. Too often I see people justifying all sorts of stuff with "Hey, I was drunk." The thing is, you choose to drink, it is not forced upon you. That makes you responsible, it does not provide a licence to get away with immoral behaviour. If one cannot control one's actions, one should not drink, period.
Second, and this is just a hunch, I think his blackout is way too convenient. Thats another thing I have seen from time to time, selective memory following a booze up. It might be that he is telling the truth, but I would really consider the possibility that his memory lapse frees him from the responsibility of having to explain himself.
Also consider this, if you do take him back, how will you guarantee that this will not happen again? Will he stop drinking for you? I would reckon that since he has shown such extreme lack of awareness (taking his story at face value) he should be willing to never touch another drop again. Anything else would be totally unacceptable in my opinion.
Whatever you decide I hope it works out for you. I would be very reluctant to accept his apology however.
Good luck.
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