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what should i do?
i am 19 and pregnant but i am in college only in my first year. i am with the person i love but he does not go to college. i want to have the baby but me and him have no money and no way to provide for the baby? what should i do?
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Adoption is a difficult but brave decision in a situation like this, and these days there are many programs that can give you all kinds of options, like a closed adoption, where you just have no contact at all once the baby is born, or an open adoption, where you have contact and occasional visits with the baby/adoptive parents. You can pick the family your baby goes to or leave it to the agency. With so many options you can pick a program that suits your needs. My mother gave my older brother up for adoption at 17 years old, and he recently found her and told her she did the best thing for him. And if she had kept him, I never would have been born! Even though it was difficult for her, it was a HUGE blessing in disguise for everyone. HOWEVER, don't underestimate yourselves. You may feel now that you can't provide, but once you see that little "bundle of joy", your whole mindset will change. Your priorities may change and you'll do anything and everything to provide for this life. And there is help out there through welfare and private foundations. And don't think that just because you can't afford designer clothes or brand-new toys that you are not providing. The greatest gift a woman can give her child is two loving parents who are committed to each other and their family. All the rest is gravy.
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Put it up for adoption. If you keep the baby to raise yourself, it'll more than likely have a shitty life.
Adoption is the best option.
www.adoption.com
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If you have no money, then there is no possible way that you will be able to provide for this child. Instead of putting yourself through all of this misery, which will later end up affecting how the child is treated, you should put up the baby for adoption. I personally do not believe in abortion, because I think that it is wrongful killing. I'm not going to start imposing my views on you though. Your child will have a better life, trust me. Once you are out of college, finish your education, and have developed your career, then you can start thinking about having children.
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Adoption. You and your bf were not mature responsible adults enough to use birth control, multiple forms of birth control. And yet you think you are responsible enough for another human being? What sort of life will this child have? You have the ability to give this child a wonderful gift, 2 parents that will be able to love and SUPPORT this child. Besides.. if you think your bf is going to marry you, I doubt it. If he wasn't willing to marry you before you got pregnant, chances are he's not going to marry you because you are pregnant. And even if he did, that's not a good foundation for a marriage, one that your child would grow up in and seeing which isn't going to be a good example for your child and you'll probably end up in divorce which would cause even further emotional pain and trauma for the child. Give the child to a loving stable adult married couple, give the gift of life.
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The first thing you need to do is get informed about your options.
1. Adoption
2. Abortion
3. Having the baby.
You are the only person who can make this decision.
When you consider, remember, ultimately, you are the only person who you can control, so don't put a lot of weight on being helped by your parents, or the baby's father. Get it in your mind that you are capable of anything, and all the help you get is just gravy.
While I was making my decision, I wouldn't broadcast the pregnancy to everyone. You may decide to abort, and then you don't need everyone knowing your business. I'm not saying to suffer in silence, but another girl in college your own age shouldn't be your support system. There are professionals who will be better able to advise you and answer all of your questions.
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