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Well many Q's
OK first Im f/14
I have a few questions,
1.ok my parents are 50 and 51, so they are old fashioned, well my bf and i have been going out for a year, and my parents always watch us like hawks to make sure we arent doing anything "inappropriate" well, so is there any way to escape them?!?!
2. My boyfriend and i kiss, just a little peck, how do i get him to start making out with me??? and i know he wants to make out with me!!!
3. Well so how do i get him to do more? not sex! but like more than just kissing, like idk what, but any ideas and advice?
4. ok, so like..im really confused with like EVERYTHING to do with guys, b/c he is my first bf, and my parents hide me from the world of anything like that, so explain to me EVERYTHING you can think of! ok?
please help me, and im sorry that im kind of out of the world of guys, sex, and relationships.
Thanks for the advice!!!
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i would say, keep the kiss, or hold it longer, also looking up like as you would be looking into his eyes, but with your eyes closed. then like lightly run your toung over your lips in a sexy way.
hope this helped. sorry if its confusing.
xoxo
Maya
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well give any specific things you wanna know and ill tell you as best i can
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1. You can try, but it might not work. Tell them you like privacy, but you will be mature and not do anything. It's been a year now, so they should understand to an extent.
They're only being parents really - there's lots like yours. Would you like your daughter with her boyfriend alone not knowing what they're doing - as well as being underage? Probably not!
2. Slip your tongue into his mouth and it will go from there.
Go here for some tips:
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Lots more here:
3. TALK TO HIM. Ask if he's ready to go further. Communication is the key here. If couples can't talk about things like this, it's not a good sign.
There's a number of things you can do without sex.
(touching with clothes on/off, dry humping, oral etc)
4. It's okay to be confused. You learn as you go along and since you've been with him for a year, it seems like you're doing a good job. Send him txts, messages, etc telling him how much you care, give him random kisses just because, hug him because you can, maybe buy him little gifts. Everyone is different to when it comes to something like this. Just carry on what you're doing.
and remember.. Guys are always confusing no matter what!
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[1] There is no way to escape them, and I suggest you don't. Old-fashioned or not, your parents have your best interest in mind, and that's you not getting knocked-up at 14 years old. You might say "Oh, but I won't! I know better!" I say, "Shit happens." So honestly, obey your parents, they're doing this for you. :]
[2] Talk to him. If you know he wants to make out with you, & he hasn't yet, he's waiting for you to tell him you're ready, so I suggest you do so.
[3] Same deal. If you're absolutely positive you want to take your relationship to the next level [but not sex] then you need to talk to your boyfriend & see what he's willing to do.
[4] I don't exactly understand what you mean by this one. I can honestly tell you that there's not really anything I can do to rid you of your confusion seeing as how guys will always be confusing whether you're 14, 16, 20, 74, 9..who cares. They'll always be confusing. Maybe if you elaborate more or whatever, I can answer this question personally in my inbox or something.
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1) No, you cant really escape them. And to be honest, you shouldnt. "Old fashioned".
Ill try to keep this short, but please read it all. You consider your parents old fashioned (and maybe they are a little) but thats also because they were raised in a time when kids your age didnt know anywhere near as much about sex and the ability to enjoy it. So they werent chasing it.
Sex and sexuality are adult things. There are emotions and reasons behind sex that go beyond "I like my boyfriend and this feels good". At 14 you havent even encountered all of these things, much less are able to handle them well. You dont have enough experience to make a sound adult judgement. Thats why your parents are there. They create rules whos purpose is to keep you safe while allowing you enough leeway to learn without screwing up really badly and for instance ending up pregnant or with an STD.
Sorry about the lecture.
2 & 3) These are really one question and will be answered as such. Talk to him. I think that one of the things least taught to kids today is that one of the BIGGEST reasons you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or someday spouse, is that you have someone to talk to. Someone you can relate to. A person whom you trust. Its a hard subject to bring up, but talk to him. Tell him youd like to do more. Tell him that you dont want to do TOO much more. Set your limits now and talk to him about them. Trust me, he wont be upset that you brought it up. Quite the contrary.
4) Way too involved an answer. But this is because its different for every person. You bond with people in an individual level. Go for a walk, have a conversation, kiss in the rain, watch a movie, go out to dinner. Cook each other dinner. Going out in public is a bit harder to manage, but you get the general idea.
Its too early for sex. Your parents arent teaching you things which is bad on them, because they probably dont realize exactly how much you can learn on your own these days. This is something you've probably heard from them, and all I can say is that you will definitely understand this when you are older, but you have your entire life ahead of you to get these things done, to experience all you want to experience.
I will add to that. Some experiences that would be positive when you are older are not positive now.
I will give you a real life example, because it comes up on here alot. Sex with people you dont know very well, aka "hooking up".
In later years, past high school, past college, people often sleep together without knowing each other very well. They do this obviously because they want to have sex, but also because they know themselves. They know that they can enjoy sex with a stranger or a new aquaintance or on a first date. Furthermore, they can handle all of the consequences. They protect themselves, they are educated about sex, they prevent pregnancy and if one occured they are adults fully capable of handling the situation themselves, be it adoption, abortion, or keeping the baby. They are also able to make logical, informed, adult decisions about all of these things. Adult women know when to say no and when to say yes based on what is ok for them.
You havent been around to know these things yet. But more than that, reread the part about the consequences. Adults have earned the right to express their sexuality in ways of their own choosing because they have the rest of their life in order. If you got pregnant, there is nothing you can do about it. You cant get an abortion, put it up for adoption, or keep it on your own. If you get an STD you cant set up your own appointment to go take care of it or to figure it out. This is why your parents set rules and try to keep you from "doing inappropriate things"
Because they dont know if you would be responsible. They do know they havent taught you enough about your own body and about relationships or sexuality to know enough to keep you safe.
How do you tell a 14 year old to consider the future and expect him or her to understand the gravity of what that means?
Now that, Id love to have an answer to.
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Don't feel embarrassed about just starting your first relationship. There are people even in their 20s or early 30s who never bothered with dating in high school or college. They were often too shy or never given the opportunity to be with someone else. You're normal.
I think what you need to do is talk candidly with your parents about the relationship. Tell them that you have no intention as does your boyfriend of doing anything remotely sexual or inappropriate at all. You're just not ready and he understands that too.
Tell them that if you were intending on having sex that you would use protection and write them a note asking to be put on birthcontrol with no questions asked by either side.
Then ask kindly for them to respect your privacy while at home as you haven't even started kissing even for fear of being caught by them.
As far as doing something more that isn't sexual just tell your boyfriend what you had in mind and wanted to try and ask him to walk you through the makeout process. Set boundaries ahead of time about what you are and are not ready for.
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to get him to kiss you more lick his top lip a lil bit or hold the peck for a while and go for more pressyour lips more against his and open ur mouth a timy bt while kissing or pecking ;] =]
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