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what's his problem?
15/f. I've been talking to a guy online for the past 2 months. He's 18. I knew him in real life, but he moved to another state. Well, first..when we started talking, he made it clear to me that he wasn't even supposed to flirt online with me because he could "get in trouble with the law, they'll land my ass in jail." (he's in the army, and thinks he's being watched) well, sometimes, he would make sexual remarks towards me...something along the lines of "i want to get you laid." and he'll start to panic after saying that...like "Omg...forget I said that, they're gonna kill me...ahhh I harassed a minor."
However, at other times...he just straight out flirts like it's no big deal. Usually, he just compliments me and tells me cute things. It kind of disturbs me..
Um...what's his problem? Is this legal?
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Dear 15/f,
There are a few issues here. The answer to your main question about if his flirtation is legal: Yes. Flirtation is legal until it becomes harassment.
One problem that immediately struck me is that he said something as crude and disgusting as “I want to get you laid.” This is distasteful and shows no respect for you. If you are liking the things he is saying to you, it hints that you enjoy the attention but you should be getting a better kind of attention from a more respectful source.
He may think he can talk to you anyway he wants because he is so far away. People tend to say more if they are not making direct eye contact. The trouble is, this can begin to make you feel less about yourself. You are at an impressionable age. You are a valuable human being. You probably have a number of friends who love you. You should love yourself too. Once you do love yourself enough, you will realize he does not deserve your attention or friendship unless he can talk to you with more respect. At that time, once you are older and he possibly comes back, if you decide a relationship may be in your future you can discuss intimacy. Don’t let him get away with degrading you and talking to you like a sex toy. You are better than that. I believe that and I have never even met you.
P.S.: I think you already know the way he talks to you is wrong, even if not illegal. You wrote in expressing being disturbed. Now it's time to cut him out of your on-line time until he grows up.
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Well i think that you should talk to him about it and tell him that if he wants to compliment you, the he should do it,but think about doing it before he does,tell him how you feel, its not hard, Hope i helped..
-Icemdurlm
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If it "disturbs" you, why are you still talking to him? Unless what he says is very explicit, there's nothing wrong with this situation. Maybe he feels you're leading him on in some way. Are you? He could even be joking. It's hard to tell as we can't see the things he says to you - and we don't know what he's thinking.
If it's really bothering you, tell him you're uncomfortable with him talking like that. If he carries on and you don't like it, don't talk to him.
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umm no i dont think its illegal. if he had sex with you, then it is illegal because you arent at the age of consent (16) but seriously hes in another state, and just talking to you - if youre really worried, just dont talk to him.
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well if you think hes harrassing you then itsnt legal. But the if it disturbs you also, then stop talking to him, the reason why he flirts with you, is because hes probably comfortable talking to you, and you got a good personality, thats all, you know. BUt if it bothers you, just stop talking to him, and it will save you and him from getting into trouble
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