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I backed out
Me and my bf of 11 months have talked for a long time about sex. I'm 17 and he's 18. I'm still a virgin and he's not. I was all for it cause I know that I love him and I want for him to be my first. But when the time came I chickened out. He was really patient about it and told me not to worry about it that it will happen when it happens. I don't know what to do. I know that its something that I want to do I just can't help but let my nerves get the best of me. Plz help!
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Let me start out by saying, that your boyfriend sounds like a great guy! And maybe its that you just arent ready for sex yet...and at 17, i'd say thats a good thing. You don't want to rush these things, because you can never take it back. But if you are sure that you are ready, i think that no matter what, (and whatever age you are) you are going to be nervous your first time, because it's scary (i'm still a vigin my self (16/f) but this is what i pressume. I think that the only way to get over the nerves is to have sex...but DON'T RUSH INTO A DECISION LIKE THIS! Because the worst thing in the world is regret.
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Talk more.
Get more aquainted with him physically. More comfortable.
Ok. So you arent comfy having sex. How about just hanging out naked or less than dressed? It gets you used to being intimate with him, being exposed without being uncomfortable.
I live with my girlfriend of almost 3 years. When we are alone in the room, we dont wear clothes. Ever. Its just habit by now. But it has helped alot with our comfort levels around each other, neither of us is at all shy about not wearing clothes around the other.
Things like that can help you. If you cant overcome the nerves then just spend more time being intimate in other ways, even non sexual ways.
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Having sex is a huge decision. it's good you are taking it seriously. Your "nerves" are telling you something important; you aren't ready for intercourse yet. It is obvious you love your boyfriend and he definately loves you back. It's okay to wait. He's not going anywhere, so you have all the time in the world (and if he were, why sleep with him?). It's a good idea to wait.
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Talking about something this big and actually doing it are worlds apart. You may think that you are ready to go forward with your relationship, but your actions speak differently. Your boyfriend sounds like a great guy but if he really does love you he will wait a bit longer. It is not unusual for someone your age to still be a virgin despite what others may say. Continue to talk it through with your boyfriend and the more comfortable you become with him, the less inhibited you will be. It is honestly worth the wait to really enjoy your first time and it would be a mistake to go through with it just now to 'get it over and done with'. Once you have decided that the time is right, make sure you are completely protected against pregnancy and STDs, that you will not be disturbed and that your boyfriend takes everything nice and slow. Even if he has to stop several times until you regain your comfort, he should understand your feelings. All the best.
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