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worried about him.
16/f. a friend of mine just died. and another friend, david, isnt really showing any emotion. and i know its affecting him cause he was like best friends with the kid that died. i told david that im here for him and such, but im worried. i know its not healthy to keep everything in. he'll talk to me when its just me and him. no body else around. and that doesnt happen too often. maybe its just a guy thing. idk. but im worried. and idk what to say or do.
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Everyone deals with tragedies in different ways. I think its nice that you have volunteered, but when and if he is ready and some point he'll tell you. A lot of people hold it in for a while, until they are really ready to talk. I know as a person, I keep things to myself. I think you should just give him some time, maybe he'll talk. Just be there for him like you are. I hope I helped.
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yeah.. most people are like that when somone passes away or something they get so sad to the point they dont show emotion cause its all bottled up inside and he probably got alot of things on his mind about that kid that died..
when he comes to talk to you about it you should confort him and make it look like your there for him.. and understand him keep nodding your head..
and stuff like that
make him feel that he can come to you anyday
hope i helped =] =] bye
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Well, it's true that guys often don't want to express emotions, especially in front of other guys (or even us, sometimes) but it's not uncommon for people to be "numb" after someone they cares about dies. They are basically in shock and haven't really processed it yet. The closer they were to the person, the bigger the shock is. It's a huge thing to accept: someone you care about and saw all the time is gone and you are NEVER going to see them again, ever. Most of us have trouble with the actual concept of death. We know that the person is gone, we know that it's forever but the human mind can't really comprehend forever. And we have a lot of built-in defense mechanisms to protect us from shock and pain, such as what occurs when a loved one passes on. People often go to the funeral and go about their lives and seem fine and will think they're fine. Then something will happen (it's often something small, like finding an article of their clothing or going somewhere they used to go together) and it will hit them like a load of bricks that the person really IS gone. This may happen to your friend, David. If it does, you need to be careful about helping him through his grief. Grief is one of the rawest, most terrible of all human emotions because there is no cure for it but time. Make sure he knows that you can talk with him about this friend, remember the good times and the funny things he did but also remember to respect his space. He may not want you to help him. Men especially seem to need to grieve in private. Just make sure if he needs you, you're there. Give him some time. It can take awhile to process all these things. And if he starts acting differently or in an outwardly worrisome manner, be a good friend and try to get him some help.
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Everyone deals with death differently. What David's doing is completely normal and common. You've already done the best thing possible- telling David you're there for him & listening when he wants to talk. It's not just a guy thing- it's just how he chooses to grieve. It gets easier with time, no matter how hard it seems now. You'll be fine, just be there for each other and help each other through. Keep living your life- no friend would want your lives to completely stop just because his was cut short (I don't know how to word that exactly, but I think you get what I mean). I'm terribly sorry for your loss, it's really hard :( My inbox is open if you want to talk.
-LM
[15/f]
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