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okay so the other night, i met up with my new boyfriend at this elementary school thats close to our house to just hang out. my younger sis came, and two of his friends and mine that i knew from 7th grade ( we're all in 11th now) were there too. now its been since june that ive seen him because he was in nc with his sister, staying with his dad for a large portion of the summer since his parents are divorced.
so my sis and i were there and my boyfriend is in the middle of giving me a hug when we see my dads car pull up. he gets out and its soo obvious he was mad.
so my sister and i get home, and my dad lectures me telling me that i should call and tell him who i hang out with. and he was also bugged about how my boyfriend "had his paws on me"
My mom gets home from work that night and the first thing she did was come in my room and ask for my cell phone. i give it to her because i knew she would look at it to see if there were any from him.
later that night, she was saying how she doesnt want me hanging out with scum like him. she assumes that since his friend isnt big into education like we are that my boyfriend is the same.
she is finding every possible reason for herself to not like him. since im going into a better private school that costs well over 10 grand, she believes he's going to "distract" me from getting good grades.
yesterday she was mentioning how i should date people who have money and are close with their family. this really made me angry because back when my mom and dad were dating, my dad couldnt afford much and he was not close with his family.
shes basicaly told me she doesnt want me to see him. my boyfriend and i have known each other since 7th grade but we've been talking for about a year and before he left for NC we were quite close and we have strong feelings for each other. we've both decided to fight through all this.
I justt need help with how i can convince my mom to allow me to hang out with him?
has this happened to you before? what did you do?
thanks very much.
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well, this has never happened to me before but try to convince your mom to let you have a chance with him, maybe invite him over to dinner with your family so instead on judging a book by it's cover they can get to know him& how nice of a boy he is, and if they won't even give him a chance then it's not worth trying to convince them, just see him anyway- without them knowing, yes I know it's bad but there isn't anything else you can do you've tried to be reasonable with them and they won't even give him a chance.
good luck. :)
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this hasn't happened to me, but it has happened to my best friend. I can't exactly tell you what to do, but i can tell you what NOT to do. You see, my friend was going out with some guy. and he's also my friend. well he wrote a note to her saying some things that shouldn't have been written down... and her mom found out about it and made her never to see or speak to him again. But they were inseperatable and couldn't last 1 week without seeing each other. so she talked to me, and we thought it was a good idea if she and i were hanging out and they 2 could meet. well..... that's the bad decision right there. DON'T LIE!!!!!!!! she lied to her mom about hanging out with me, then goes off and meets him. She eventually found out about it and you know what they did... she just kept on doing it.
so my advice to you- talk to your mom. Tell her that he is not the type of guy who doesn't do his homework, or is a distraction, or is poor, or is distant from his family. Invite him over to your house when your parents ARE there. so then they can see what type of guy he truely is.
Your parents are just trying to protect you from big jerks. Sometimes, parents are actually right!!! If they still don't allow him, then you better follow their rules and don't make the mess bigger than it already is. that's what my friend did and now she's grounded and I can't even see her until school starts. yeah, its that bad...
you can even have a talk with your mom and you tell her that just because a guy isn't rich, doesn't mean that he isn't a good guy! did you ever think that maybe the reason why a guy might be distant from his family, is because his family is in trouble of some sort? ask her that!
Tell her that when you get a boyfriend, he should be likable for you and your family. not just one of them.
do whatever it takes, but just don't lie!!
good luck!!!
-volleyball2150
PS: don't be afraid to tell your own opinion!
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Lie and get away with it.
Thats probably the last answer I should give, but its the honest truth.
Lie and get away with it. Realize that your parents want to control you, and from what you've said you arent exactly being unreasonable.
Now, doing things without your parents consent means that all the responsibility is on you. So dont be stupid. Protect yourself if you have sex, watch your own back, all that good stuff. But your parents arent going to be nice about it. They arent going to give you the freedom you want, and from what youve said the freedom you seem responsible enough to be trusted with.
Be careful with your phone. Realize that anything he sends you they might find so delete texts from him as soon as you've read them and if you can make your phone not save sents at all do so, else delete them all frequently. Be careful with any communications your parents could get into from your house. Dont assume your e-mail is completely safe either.
Your parents want to make sure you have someone THEY think is worthy of you. I have not seen a set of parents who chose a decent person to be "worthy" of their kids, pretty much ever. Its something thats pretty well beyond them.
Hide it as much as you can. Keep it off her radar. Lie. Get away with it. If you dont think you can maintain the charade then dont lie just dont tell her the full truth. Like telling her everyone youre going to be with except him, stuff like that.
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To tell you the truth, your mother has made up her mind about your boyfriend, and it'll be fairly hard to get her to change it.
The most I can suggest to you right now is for you to talk to her & convince her to meet him & his family. Once she meets them & realizes that they're not the scum she labeled them to be, she may ease up & let you see him.
If that doesn't work, you can have them talk one on one & see what happens. If she still has her mind made up that he's a scumbag & he's no good, then you should respect your mothers wishes & stop dating him. But once you turn 18, date who you wish. Stay friends with him though because the feelings you have may not go away.
Good luck!
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Well i can say this has never happened to me before, but I think this is your moms way of holding on to you. In a twisted way I think she thinks that guys that are rich and close to the family are best for you, and of course mom alaways want the best for their kids. I think she might be scared to let any guy she doesnt know date you. Maybe explaining how good he is, and introducing the two might change her mind and she can see what a great guy our boyfriend is. Hope I helped, and good luck.
Brookey =]
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Talk to your mom. Tell her you really like this guy and you want her to give him a chance. Say that if he does distract you from school she can forbid you from seeing him. Tell her she doesn't know him and that she would probably like him once she did. Also remember to mention this- she needs to trust you. You know who to hang out with and who not to.
After this, she may agree or she may scream and yell. If she screams and yells write it in a note and give it to her once she calms down.
As for your second question, no, I've never been in this situation. However, I know how to deal with parents.
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