|
We're poor.
Hi, I'm 14, soon to be 15 in 13 days, female.
My family has recently become poor. I've never been a person to shop at Hollister or anywhere that expensive, buttt, according to my mom and dad, we're almost in debt, and we can't pay our monthly bills. We can't afford my school clothes, so I'm having a yard sale.
My dad, tonight, just told me that we might not have enough to send me to Drivers Ed this September. I got really upset, and he still has to look into the finances.
I told him I was angry because we were poor, and he said whatever and left. What do I do about all of this? I think I hurt my dad's feelings, and yet I'm literally crying because we don't have enough money for anything anymore, I can't stop crying.
... please help. What should I do? My birthday will probably be the worst ever.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Work & School category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Personal Finance?
I know it SUCKS that you might not have drivers ed for a while but sometimes, it's worth the wait. I had to wait over a year, and my family wasn't poor. i'll share my experience with you so you can see what i've learned. I was 15 and in ohio you can get a permit at 15 1/2. well, my mom got sick with a rare brain condition and had surgery. not only was i not able to drive then, i didn't have rides anywhere...sometimes not even food because everyone was busy. once she finally recovered, we moved to a different state a month after my sweet 16 [which i didn't have any kind of party for]. where i live now, you can't get a liscense until you're 17. i had to take drivers ed as a class at school so it all got delayed so my liscence came a month after my 17th birthday.
what i've learned: driving will come eventually. in the mean time, enjoy not haveing to pay for gas.
also, don't give you parents grief about it. i did [with somewhat good reason] and it didnt get me anywhere. so don't dwell on it. you don't need alll new clothes for school. if you do want to get clothes with the money you get from the yard sale, do what i did [this week actually] and go bargain hunting! i promise you it's not as bad as some people make it out to be.
tjmax: i got hollister & a&f jeans for $7 & $10 on sale. 3 pairs for $27.
target: flats on sale for $3.75...they go with everything.
plato's closet is amazing too..
so really just look...you can make it through. get a raincheck for the whole birthday thing... get a cake, blow out candles and open a few small gifts. birthdays aren't meant to be huge parties like on tv..just a gathering with a few people you care about can be so meaningful.
cheer up.. things WILL get better, i promise. this will only make you stronger! <3
]
Sorry to hear about your predicament. At this time, you really need to be putting things into perspective. Thank god you have your house and your family together. I have a job where i make $100-$150 per week and i'm also 14. My mom doesn't like to go crazy with the school clothes shopping, so she gives me a small amount and am in a position where I can pay for my own clothes. I actually kind of like it, ha. Again, if Driver's Ed means so much to you, you should get a job. Your parents are under a ton of stress right now and i'm certain that it doesn't make them feel great when they have to tell you that they cannot pay for things. I pay for almost everything I want (which isn't a lot) and I have a sense of independance.
hope I helped.
]
Hey
Sorry to hear you're not doing so well. How did your family become poor? Did one of your parents lose a job? Maybe they'll find another one soon...
xoLoLaox had a good point about driver's ed. It's probably the least of your worries right at the moment. Get someone in your family to teach you how to drive.
I can understand being "upset" because you're poor. Being "angry" is not acceptable, because in order to be angry, you must be directing hate towards somebody/something. What made your family poor? It wasn't somebody coming along and making sure you had no money on purpose, was it? So when you tell your father you're angry because you're poor, he probably takes that to mean that you blame him. That's not fair, so perhaps you should check to see that he knows you still love him, and that you're just upset. Right now, your dad is probably more upset than you.
Sally's suggestion of getting a job is a good idea. Also, if you are going to school, it's possible that your school has a program for students with financial difficulties (Like scholarships for financial stress, so that you wouldn't have to work while you study)
As long as your family has the money for basic things like electricity, heating, water, and food, then you'll be alright. Sometimes you don't really realise or appreciate that those sorts of essentials are there, until you lose them. There are people who are a lot worse off than you at the moment. That doesn't make it easier, I guess, but it's something you have to realise. You're not completely out of everything.
If I may say, Brie's answer was a little bit much like Sally's (i.e. what a rip-off Brie!)
xoLoLaox's point again, is very good. You should try to focus on the people you have. They're the best thing you have going for you, trying to get through a hard time. While you have friends, and a family that loves you, your birthday can be fine. You won't necessarily get many expensive presents, but what was there that you were going to get that is so important that it matters more than you? Is not having heaps of presents going to make you unhappy - or would it just be that you make yourself unhappy by not accepting that you can't have them just yet? Happiness is what you decide.
I hope that wasn't too crap and philosophical for you :) And you're happy that at least 3 people who answered you care enough to want to help you.
And I hope things go better and you feel happier soon.
-K
]
Let me see if I can give you an idea of what
your parents are feeling. I know you are
feeling bad and all kids want to take Drivers
ED, but it isn't the end of the world. There
are other ways to learn to drive.
Your parents main goals right now are making
sure you have food to eat, electricity so you
have lights and TV, Making house payments or
rent so you have a roof over your
head. Maintaining a vehicle so someone
can get to work everyday, gas, tires,
insurance. Water so you can drink it and
keep clean. Health insurance in case someone
gets sick. That is a lot to keep up with and
can be really expensive.
Right now your mom and dad are struggling
with finances. They are probably stressed
big time so apologize to dad and ask him
to teach you to drive since you can't take
Drivers ED. He is probably feeling real bad
that he can't afford for you to take it.
You will have other birthdays. If you can't
have a big party for this one, there will be
others. please, try not to make them feel bad
if they can't afford to make a big deal about
it this year. :)
]
hay... sorry to here whats happened, i know its hard but your family will get through this... a lot of familys have money problems so your not alone. i think you need to talk to your dad and say sorry b'cos you have to understand that he is doing all he can at the moment to support the family through this so you need to understand that. your birthday wont be that bad... i know it wont be as good as last year or the year before but it wont be as bad as you think. why dont you tell your friends you want money or clothes thats the best thing to ask for at a time like this... if your really struggling then another suggestion is getting a job... while there isnt a lot of money and if you dont like it you can always quite later on when everythings back on track...
it will help a lot... anyways i hope i helped you... good luck xoxox sally
]
Im sorry to hear that theres not much money right now, everyone is having a hard time right now. Tell your dad your sorry. about your birthday, ask the people you invite to get you clothes, tell them thats really all you want, that way you will have something new to start school in, and noone has to know your situation. Have a family member to teach you how to drive. And maybe you could start baby sitting for cash. Good Luck Brie
]
Well instead of thinking of just yourself and drivers ED, think about your family and your house!
You may lose everything and if you keep acting insensitive toawrds their feelings, then you WILL have to worst birthday ever.
Sorry to be such a jerk, but this is the truth babe.
Tell your dad you're sorry and tell him that it's OK that you can;t afford it and ask him if there's anything you can do to help them.
As for the driving thing, ask your parents or someone else older who can drive to teach you!
I'm really sorry about your situation, but i think you're doing a very right & smart thing having a yard sale.
Just don't worry about little things like that, and focus more on the future, and how it WILL be better.
:)
<3L.
good luck!
]
More Questions: |