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Best friend is trying to be me?
Okay, I thought it was just a phase she was going through, but my best friend copies everything I do and SENIORS IN HIGHSCHOOL! It's ridiculous. A little about both of us- My style is more along the lines of a mix of "boho" "indie" and "scene-ish" hers was along the lines of "nerdy" and "scene/kid-ish" up until sophmore year. I've always dressed like that and then when her and I started hanging out a lot more she began to dress like me and talk like me. At frist I thought it was just because we were hanging out too much, then she started getting creepy. She cut her hair like mine, dyed it the EXACT same way (blonde under my bangs and a stripe-yes I had my "scene hair" stage and thank God it's over). Then she started to buy the same exact clothes as me and called to make sure we were going to wear the same thing on the same day- to school. She has done too many things like that to list here.
We don't hang out as much as we used to, so the other day we were going shopping and I went to pick her up and to my surprise her hair was my color...again. I asked her about it and she said that since I had such pretty hair then she dyed it to match.
I looked at her myspace the other day and she had mine and my boyfriends song as hers! She knows it's our song, so I asked her about it and she said it's her's and her new boyfriends song. I think this has gone too far.
How do I handle this without hurting her feelings?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Well, obviously your friend doesn't have a very high self-esteem or a strong sense of her own identity. So she's trying to model herself after someone she admires... which just happens to be you! In some ways, you can be flattered by this; obvioulsy, she really looks up to you and your unique style. But yes, it can certainly be annoying to be copied! Especially for someone who takes pride in being a unique individual, which it sounds like you are.
One reason that it bothers you might be that you worry (perhaps subconciously) that she is taking away some of your uniqueness. You choose a certain hairstyle because it says something about you... it's "you". But when she shows up with the same one, suddenly it's not special or different anymore; it's not "yours."
But no matter how hard she tries to be like you, she will never BE you. There's a lot more to you than just your hair and clothes and mannerisms. It's all the things on the inside that make you who you are... and those are the things she probably admires most about you, but can never replicate.
Trust me, everyone can tell that you are the leader here and she is the follower. They recognize that you have your own style and that it's her who's trying to copy you, and not vice versa. So even though it's really annoying, try not to let it bother you too much. Just keep being who you are and people will respect and admire you for that, regardless of what your friend does.
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make her remeber how she was.... maybe she is gonig to be like"whatever" but stuff like that happens:) it happend to me, and of coures you are not NOT going to change for her... if she really is your friend she will understand.. yes it would be hard,strange,and just overwhellming you will find a way to talk to her.. trust your self.. and imagine if you where doing the same thing how would you like someone to talk to you.
-take care:)
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It sounds like she's uncomfortable being herself. Maybe she thinks people like her better that way and maybe it's true. Let her know that you like her the way she was before and that you're worried that she is leaving herself behind. Tell her that is she acts like herself she will know her friends really like her. Offer to help her to find her own style so she is unique and exciting.
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The song thing, you're overreating. You don't "own" that song, and lots of other couples probably have the same song. Buying the same clothes isn't uncommon, she likes the clothes YOU wear and wants the same style. Intentionall wearing the same outfit is a but much. When she calls, tell her to wear whatever she wants and that you don't want to look like clones. If she refuses to listen, tell her what you were "planning" on wearing but wear something different. Don't give her something hideous.. just different from you. Next time she's going to do her hair, offer to help her pick a color. It's unlikely that the colors look exactly the same on two different people, it's possible the color worked with both of you though. After she dyes hers, dye your something different. Make sure she realizes that she can mimic your style without being your clone. Help her find her own style- influenced by you. The bottom line is that she looks up to you and likes how you carry yourself. Help her out and you'll both be happy.
-LM
[15/f]
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Say "Hey, I've notice that you have been coping me. Is there a reason? I'm not trying to be rude but its kinda really anoying. I'd like it if you please stop." Hope this helps
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