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Leaving..
My Mom keeps saying she's leaving. She's so selface and blames everything on me. Jason and Scott( my brothers) ones a drunk the other can't hold a job do nothing wrong and when they do they shuve it onto me. I got an air conditioner and I have to share my room with My brother Jason. He broke my alarm clock, my light, destroyed my favorite books and I just want to go a night without crying. Im 14 I want my own room.. he messing with my pads and tampons, whips my bra's at me so I kicked him out and he broke my door! And they dont even care..
My cousin Laura said a while ago when she got her new apartment Id always have a place to stay. She lives 2 towns away tho how am I gunna get there? ANd she has a kid anda boyfriend and a life that and at the moment Jason and Her both work at the same place so It wouldnt me like its a secrete I live with her and my Mom might flip if she knows Im planning on leaving. She wants to so why cant I. Im thinking about walking there.. I have a bank accont with some money in it.. but Ive saved up and Its not really my money I have a neighbor I grew really close with and shes dont alot for me and her names carolyn. Shes already said she would take me in, but my Mom would like call the cops about a runaway and get Carolyn in trouble and I wont let that happen so I was thinking that because I was with family maybe my Mom can't do that. I know I cannot stay with Laura long, she has her own life, and I would only be getting in the way. Shes kinda understanding but I was never really close with her but she offered so If i ask about spending a couple nights to get away from the family.. I cant stay with friends, not a lot of them because If my family doesnt ask questions there going too and I dont want my problems pawned off to other people.. So if i pack a bag I have a cell so anyone could call me but running away doesnt solve anything.. And my dad basicly blames me for my Mom wanting to leave. This is long but is there anyway that if i ask laura to spend a couple nights to get away and id babyset, clean do laundry for her all for free...if my Mom can get her in trouble i wouldnt want that soo PLEAse I dont need that happening so If someone who answers this is a cop Id love that : ) or just give your opinion on the madder on how I can slove this.. I dont have a talking relationship with my Mother never have never will so please dont say just talk to her because I tried that and it didnt work!My family doesnt care about me, there selface and want only there way so they would to things in spite and to hurt me (not really a family I knoww)
Please give your opinion and im sorry this is so long but i havent gone a night in about maybe sence school closed without crying.. so anything is helpful! Thank you!!
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Aw hun I feel so bad for you. I'm not in a situation like this so I don't know how to answer.
I almost always say, running away will get you no where, but if you wanna just stay with your cousin for a few nights to clear your mind & get away from your life, then I say there's no problem with that. But don't stay there for a long time. If you don't tell your parents they're gonna flip when they see that you're gone. And then they will get all pissed & call the police & make matters worse. I don't think your cousin will get in trouble, but I'm not a police officer so I really don't know. You need to tell either your mom or dad (I don't know who's easier to deal with) that you need to spend a few nights with your cousin. That way they know your gone and won't call the police & start drama.
I know you probably think "I can't TELL them I'm leaving," but you can. You can't walk 2 towns away! That's ridiculous. You could get kidnapped, raped, or a bunch of other stuff. And if your parents don't like you (those were your own words) then wouldn't they be glad that you were leaving for a few days??
Well, I have to go so you can take my advice, it doesn't matter. Just remember if you don't tell them it's considered running away and you run the risk of getting in trouble with your parents and the police.
-Candace
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hey
i'm so sorry this has been happening to you. but to start off, why don't you just TALK to your mom about her leaving & what she's upset about. is she upset about the relationship with her husband? just sit her down & ask her what's wrong, truly. that can prevent the entire scenario from occurring. if you can get your mother to stay.
as for your brothers, have you tried NICELY telling them to stop? if they mess up your stuff, don't yell at them. if your back was facing the other way, slowly turn around & look them right in the eye. tell them, "please, jason / scott, i'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't mess up my stuff." if they laugh at you,touch them [like grab their shoulder] & say, "i'm not kidding." but do NOT yell or scream. if you want to be treated fairly, you have to act mature.
for your feelings, like how you cry at night, try writing them out in a diary / journal. it will help you monitor your feelings & thoughts on a daily basis to make sure you're mentally capable of running away. it's not just about the PHYSICAL running away, but mental because of... missing your mother, regretting running away, etc. it's a real strain on your mind.
if your mother won't open up to you, just let her know that you're there for her. if your dad is so selfish & doesn't care about you, there's probably a reason behind it. if & when you get a chance, sit him down & talk to him ALONE. if none of your parents open up to you, read on.
upto this point, you have failed in having your parents open upto you & preventing your mother from running away. that's fine.. you have tried your best. do you have laura's contact information, like cell number or home phone number? do not do ANYTHING without it in case something badly happens.
plan to meet her at a nearby park [or some other place that you can walk to]. pack clothe, toothbrush, howevermuch stuff you can carry, to be perfectly honest. ask her to pick you up from the park [or wherever] & take you home from there. but, ONLY do this if you're POSITIVE that your mother is leaving.
when you get to laura's house, you have to call a child services, or have her call. your mother & father are obviously completely in capable of taking care of three of their own children.
i hope all works out for you.
feel free to ask me anymore questions
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The only option if you absolutely positively are ready to leave, and can not stand living in that house anymore, is to call some of the hot lines below for wrong living conditions, and call yourself. If they ask tell them you have other options and places to stay at, but you are afraid to leave to put other people in jeopardy and get them in trouble.
Here are some numbers:
National Youth Crisis Hotline
800-442-HOPE (442-4673)
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4ACHILD
Girls and Boys Town National Hotline
800-448-3000
1800 RUNAWAY National Runaway Switchboard
1-800-RUNAWAY
National Runaway Hotline
1-800-231-6946
Covenant House Nineline
800-999-9999
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ok. im really sorry to hear about this. i think you shuld go live with your cousin. maybe the way you can get there is sneak out at nite and meet in a close parking lot and she can come and pick you up. take some clothes, money, cell phone, and anything else you might need. if your " family" is treating u like this, you need to go live with someone that will treat you like a person, not a animal.
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No, your cousin cannot get in trouble for inviting you to stay with her provided your parents know and consent to it. All she would have to do is say to them that she needs help with her kids etc. etc. and could use your help and look after you for a bit and give you room and board and register you in school.
There's nothing suggesting that you are being mentally, physically abused at least not to the extent where you need to be placed in her care permanently. So, you cannot leave permanently until 18.
I'm concerned that you might be depressed and recommend that you see someone about that and get family or individual counselling from a mental health agency to handle all the feelings and turmoil you are dealing with. Crying every night isn't normal. Perhaps if they prescribed something things would get a little better.
As far as your personal belongings go including pads, tampons or anything important buy yourself a small box you can lock with a key and put under your bed or get a file box you can lock and they cannot open for now. That's one idea.
Under no circumstances can you ever run away on your own as that will lead to a ton of trouble and dangerous situations for you and others.
I think you ought to tell another adult such as an aunt, uncle, cousin, teacher, counselor, friend's mom/dad about your home life and ask for them to help and talk to your family and get you all some help. People need to be aware of this so that you will be safe and not suffer more mental trauma.
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