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Helping a loved one
What do you say to someone who you love dearly when a member of their family dies? I'm sorry doesn't help I know that, but I feel like all I'm doing is just being next to him, not really helping.
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There is nothing that can be said to ease someones grief however, just being next to them CAN help immensely. Just to know that you are not alone and that there is someone ready and willing to listen or wipe away tears etc is sometimes all that is really needed.
I will say one thing though - when my Father died I found it frustrating that people didn't talk about their own lives or feel that they could share good news. It felt a bit like the world had stopped which in itself was much scarier in a way.
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Say you're sorry for their loss, and that you're there if they ever need to talk regardless of what time it is. Then leave it at that. If they need to talk, they'll come to you & then you can continue to help that way.
Don't keep saying you're sorry & don't keep asking if they're okay. They'll get that you're sorry, but that won't help them, nor will it bring back the person they lost. And asking if they're okay would be stupid since they're not.
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Just help cheer them up, by saying its okay. Don't feel so down. And try to think of some thing's to get their mind off of it. Like go joggin to the park. or the Mall. Just make them feel all better, (:
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You're right; in a situation like that "sorry" doesn't really fix what has happened for them. The best thing you can do is just to simply express your condolences and lend your support. At the same time though, it is important to give that person their space to think and mourn. Let them know that you respect their need for healing time, but that when they are ready, you'll be there to lend a hand, ear, shoulder, whatever it may be. In addition, sending a sympathy card and/or flowers is also nice. Often times it is also nice to bring a homecooked meal by for comfort. Time is the only true healer. When they are maybe ready to "get out" of their grieving stage, try to take their mind off of the tragedy. Do something silly or fun. Make them something. Etc. Just be supportive. :)
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