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son
our son just turned 16 and was sneaking around with a girl that was 18 at the time and is now 19
he was told that he was not to see her anymore our we was going to press charges well now we got papers in the mail saying that i had to take him to get dna testing she had a baby this is in ohio wondering what we can do we know that its both there faults but my son is a straight a student in school has 2 more years and we heard bad things about this girl after the fact and the sneaking around.
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well first off this obviously isn't a parent. if it were they wouldn't be as worried about the GPA and would be more worried about their son.
take the DNA test. you may be the father, may not. if she's been sleeping around, then there's the possibility that you're not. but i don't know if she has, so don't take my word for it.
don't press charges either. you made a stupid decision and your life is permanently screwed up because of it. you've got a kid now, and so you have to take care of it. end of story. it's your own fault.
future advice: you don't want a kid? don't have sex.
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What in the world does your son's GPA & grades have anything to do with the fact that he's probably been sleeping with this girl?
Just get the test done & if he's the father, make him own up to it & take care of the baby. If he's not, punish him for disobeying your rules & take his stuff away. He obviously cannot be trusted so until he can learn to do as you say, then he can deal without the things that are priveleges [sp?].
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i think you should sit down with your son and have a heart to heart...with the right words you can understand where he is coming from and have him understand where you are coming from..you say he is a straight a student...which means on the whole he is a really good kid and has his priorities in order... i think you raised him to make good decisions and i think if he says he loves her you should accept that... because if you dont then it will drive him from you and he will do it any way..then he wont feel safe to tell you things and one day he might be in trouble for making the wrong move and cant tell you because he knows how you will react to it...give him space but keep an eye out... and about the baby.. if it is his the morally correct thing to do is to have him support and stay with it..i know from experience that a absent father can ruin a child's life..it wouldnt be fair to the baby to take him away she/he didnt do this the parents did and she/he shouldnt have to suffer for it..like i said though...let him make his own mistakes.. <3 viito07
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If you got papers from the state asking him to take a DNA test, it sounds like she wants to have this baby. There is no turning back. You must oblige and have the test done. I think probably, you will have to pay the cost of the test. Sorry.
If she decides to have the baby, and he turns out to be the father, then he will be on the HOOK for child support for 18 years. But the DNA test could also prove that HE IS NOT the father. The rules for this are the same in each state. Years ago, women did not have to divulge the name of the father of the baby. However, today the state forces the boys/men to have DNA tests, so that the state can force them to make child support payments. LISTEN, if it turns out that he IS the father, there is not much you can do. The state is in control here, now. This is why I have always told my boys that they should not trust girls, (don't worry, I am not condeming you, I am not out of the woods yet. It could still happen here.)
Your only recouse is to tell him that you told him he shouldn't see this girl, AND THIS IS WHY. and now he has to pay his dues. He took his pants off, and if he is the father, then he has to pay to support this child even if he does not want to see this child.
Have him take the test, and if he is the dad, then think about all your options, and decide then what you want to do. You cannot avoid this intrusion by the state.
Michele
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Well, if your son's been having sex with this girl, then there's a chance that he's the father, regardless of his GPA. Take him to get the dna testing, and if he's not-- well, if he was my son,[or if he was my brother] he'd get just about everything BUT the bare essentials taken away from him. Phone, internet, car keys, any allowance, etc.
If he is-- well, he has to man up to it. : Sorry.
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