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My mom, over protective?
ok so my mom is soo overprotective and i dont know what to do. here are some examples, she looks over my shoulder and reads what im typing to my friends on aim, if i say liike "wow today was so much fun" so one of my friends, my mom would be like "Why, what did you do today?" oh my gosh all the time and then i was looking at myspace layouts and she saw one[the myspace layouts on the internet are just previews, so they have TOM on the top 8. and my mom is like who is that man? im like oh my gosh its the owner of myspace, he is always on there. like ughhh she wonders why im always upset, and its because she doesnt trust me. she says its not a trust issue, but all of the apove, pretty much spells it out. theres other things she does but i dont know please help me, what should i do?
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WEll here are some suggestions. The other advisors are correct your mom is trying to protect you, and some day you'll do the same thing for your daughter. So don't be to hard on her. But these suggestions may help.
First she needs to trust you, that may take time,(she may trust you, but doesn't trust other people) she also needs to know that you are level headed enough to avoid trouble. Some girls go looking for trouble. I am sure you do not, but she is not convinced that you would know the difference if someone were leading you on, or intent on hurting you. First, before she has to ask you how your day was. Tell her. Tell her so much information, that before long she's holding her hands on her ears and yelling STOP! Information, makes parents feel that they know what is going on in their kids lives. Because NOT KNOWING can make parents feel really guilty. One good thing to do, when a student at school does something really stupid, share it with her. Tell her how you ALSO think it was realy stupid of that student to do that. This will tell her that you have more sense than most girls your age. As she begins to trust you more, and you'll know because she will be behaving like she trusts you more, then when she is budding in, or looking over your shoulder, it is ok to say, hey don't you trust me? And maybe she will back off. Because parents do NOT want to invade your privacy, and they won't if they know you behave sensibly. Here is the one problem though, if you break the rules, and your parents find you....you have to start over. You don't get to keep the trust that you earned. That is the price you pay for violating their trust. I believe that kids should have their privacy, But they need enough information about what to avoid out there, in order to stay out of trouble. As long as my boys are behaving sensibly, I stay out of their way. And they are very good kids. I hope this helps.
Michele
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sweetie, your mom isn't really overprotective.
my mom does the same. when i was younger, she
put this 'thing' on my aim called NANNY and it
saved everything i wrote... i didn't care that
much i guess because i didnt write anything bad.
but if you care that much, then just tell her.
be like, mom, i understand why you wanna be very
protective of me and do the best you can for me,
but lately your getting over the edge and you
can trust me! keep reassuring her, by doing
good in school & being in the house on time to
have her trust so that way, she'll cool it:]
hope i helped dear:]
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She's not being overprotective, she's just looking out for you. Sure, myspace is no big deal if you use your head, but our parents hear these horror stories about kids getting killed and raped so of course they're gonna be concerned. Have her look at Tom's profile & prove he's the creator of myspace.
As for saying, "oh what did you do today?" she's just curious about what's going on in your life. You don't have to tell her ever detail, just say "Yea Mom, a bunch of us all went to the football game and Chad ran into a pole and fell in the mud; that's what's so funny"
If she's reading your journal or listening to your phone conversations, then yeah, you could say she's being overprotective & borderline invading your privacy. Otherwise, she's just being a concerned parent and you should really appreciate that she cares so mcuh.
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Your mom is just concerned about your well-being. So many things go wrong with teenagers, and by being more active in your life, she's helping you to make better decisions.
I know, it sucks. My parents did the same thing to me, and I HATED it. All that you can really do is to not have anything to hide. With time, she'll probably calm down and see that you're mature enough to handle things on your own.
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